Amber Rosolero

Imagine shitting yourself on your own bed like this.

That's my worst job.

I cannot stand changing my sheets.

And if I shat the bed, particularly on a new sheet, I would be inconsolable.

I'd never forgive my own body.

No.

Because you have white sheets as well.

I only like a white sheet.

I don't like any other colour sheet.

And my poor kids, like they might see like a football player sheet and I'm like, you forget about that.

Back to the white section.

When one of them goes into the toilet, I keep my distance because I know what's coming next.

wipe my bum do that yourself yeah for god's sake sorry give it a go there she can but chooses not to I can already tell that I was getting drunk by the way I know I'm gonna ring mom now right remember I said I'd get you back she's like who's this my mom who's this I haven't heard from you what's your name again you birthed me 42 years ago okay

Thanks, Mom, for the lovely present you gave me for my birthday.

I absolutely.

OK, Mom, I was going to text you.

You gave it to me five minutes ago.

Our mom does that, you know, like you don't say something that she wants you to say.

She'll send you the text that you should have sent her.

Yeah.