Andrew Dice Clay

I get it.

I was nervous coming out.

I've never done Kill Tony, but you did a great job.

Well, I mean... Like if they're in Dallas or San Antonio?

Like you're not interested in the kidney?

I mean... I mean, the girl has FNTS.

Oh, I'm thinking FNTS.

Friday night twat session.

It's a whole different thing.

What's up, guys?

I have a kidney, but it also has hep C, so...

I got picked on a lot in middle school, and I got made fun of a lot.

I don't know if you could tell by looking at me, I tried to cover up most of my shame with tattoos.

This big fucking crow tattooed on my head.

You don't get a crow like this tattooed on your head unless you've been called a one too many times.

This crow on my head, I'm like, who's a now, Bryson?

Not me.

Anyways, I started doing drugs, and inevitably I went to prison.

And I didn't want to go to prison poor, so I took a couple things up my ass with me.

Took 30 methadone, two ounces of weed, half a can of Bugler, rolling tobacco, a can of Bugler, and when I got there, I was a popular kid all of a sudden.