Andrew Dice Clay

I wasn't getting picked on anymore.

I guess that's all my time.

So the worst part about shoving all those drugs up my ass was all the times I went to court and didn't go to prison.

Like, fucking, yeah.

Oh, methamphetamines.

He's been working the asshole thing out.

I mean, that's a lot of stuff to get out.

I'm your asshole.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's a lot.

It's like you should pay a toll to go into that.

I just shoved shit in there until there was no more room.

That's a lot of stuff.

You grind up the weed and pack it down and kind of make like... I don't have to know the exact word.

No, no, two ounces of weed and a half a can of Bugler rolling tobacco.

Oh, my God, two ounces.

Now you grind it up in a coffee grinder, and you pack it in a pill bottle tight, and then you put it in a condom, and about a half ounce is about the size of an egg, and you make anal beads with condoms.

So the day I got sentenced, I shot up like 30 fucking, I don't know, 300 milligrams of morphine and I ate an eighth of mushrooms and I shoved all that shit up my ass.

My mom was knocking on the door and she's like, you're gonna miss your sentence and get all that shit up your ass.

She said, hurry up, get all that shit up your ass.