Andy Laats

But past the literal nitpicking and the logistics was the emotional dimension.

I mean, I knew my kids, but I didn't know them like Liz knew them.

I mean, how do you get to know a kid when they're changing so quickly?

You know, I tried to keep current.

I knew that Margo liked long sleeves, Gwen does not like surprises, and Drew doesn't always understand why underwear is necessary.

But they kept evolving.

And so I finally just threw that away and adopted a new shoe, new kid program.

Oh, I see you've grown out of your shoes.

Nice to meet you.

Tell me everything I need to know about you."

So we got there, mostly enough, only to realize this.

It's not just A to Z.

There's a whole world beyond Z, a world I didn't know existed.

Doing the routines, keeping up with the emotional evolutions, only gets me into a position to discover this world beyond language.

And I got there with all my kids.

I'll give you an example.

10.30 at night, middle of nowhere, Vermont, drugstore.

Margot and I are staring at the wall of feminine products the first time she needed them.

Dumbfounded.

completely confused.