Andy Zaltzman

You think that's, you know, if you're like a journalist, you're interviewing Roger Federer, getting through a whole interview without mentioning his tennis career.

It's like, hey, I've been working really hard on this stuff.

Well, Xi said to Trump, we should be partners, which might not be language Trump is overly familiar with.

The art of the partnership, not amongst his many book titles.

Partnership for Trump... I mean, partnership generally involves elements of give and take.

Whereas Trump's career suggests that for him, give and take means you give...

He takes.

So it's hard to know.

Obviously, two big, big, big characters.

Again, update you on for those of you who've not heard of them.

Donald Trump is the punchline in the classic joke.

What do you get when you cross the excesses of unaccountable, basically unregulated free reign capitalism with a crumblingly outdated democracy and a self-interested, irresponsible media?

And Xi Jinping is the freedom of expression skeptic, professional accusations of genocide ignorer.

who's bravely overcome a longstanding human rights intolerance to become the undisputed Taylor Swift of the Chinese Communist Party.

So, yeah, big characters meeting.

And China has spent much of this millennium giggling quietly to itself about how fucking easy it's proving to continue its steady plod towards being the world's number one superpower.

I don't know what they chatted about.

I mean, how's your wall?

Obviously would have been a bit of a conversation starter.

What is the Greenland to Taiwan exchange rate right now?