Andy Zaltzman

And we can't move for dead possums on the roads over here, Alice.

I mean, who would have thought that the everyday drudgery of trying to actually help people in the area you represent and trying to find some actual money to pay for some actual stuff to be done was less fun than barking on about immigrants ruining the country and twerking an imaginary statue of King Arthur.

No one could possibly...

have foreseen that his uh his leader nigel farage is facing a parliamentary investigation after receiving a a five million pound donation from a thai-based crypto billionaire with which he instantly bought a one and a half million pound house uh for and is now facing a parliamentary investigation for not declaring the uh the gift which happened before he was an mp um

But I guess, you know, he who has never received a £5 million donation with no strings attached from a dubious offshore crypto billionaire and then bought a house with the money, cast the first stone.

You know, we've all been in very similar positions.

So if Starmer is turfed out of office at some point later this year, it will continue this insane prime ministerial churn.

To put it in context, Prince George, the son of Prince William, who's the son of the current king, who was the son of the previous queen, Prince George, born in 2013, Keir Starmer would be his seventh prime minister ever.

And he's not even 13 years old yet.

So I mean, it's possible that he might receive his seventh prime minister on the day of his bar mitzvah.

Sorry, that's not public domain.

Prince William has, well, he had five prime ministers by the time he was 34.

By the time he was 13, he'd only had two.

But now here is the key point of difference.

So in his first 13 years, William had two prime ministers, George set for seven.

But William had had nine different England men's test cricket captains and George only four.

So we've had a lot more stability in the really important public positions.

But the prime ministers have been complete chaos.

bloodline situation right yeah been in the pie random allocation lottery uh thunderdome i've got i've got i've got a whole list of options but they all sound preferable to be honest to what we have at the moment and of course we have the option there as i mentioned earlier on king king charles yeah we have a monarchy ready to go that's been sitting there since uh

Well, pretty much to the late 1640s, thinking, look, you made a mistake.