Andy Zaltzman

I mean, this is what we are as a nation now.

And finally on this week's Bugle, Iran war knock-on effects update news now.

While the Iran war has continued to rumble on like the indigestibly undercooked political chicken sheesh that it is, what's actually going on right now?

It's barely even worth bothering to try to keep up, partly because no one believes anything that anyone says about it anymore, least of all Trump.

And I'm not sure he even believes himself anymore.

He might as well say Iran has promised only to build nukes if they don't explode.

And we've agreed that pogo sticks and pedalos are now the only legal forms of transport across the entire Middle East.

now pull my finger and call me Donzel Washington, and the world would shrug and get on with its busy schedule of despairing at what we have become.

But the side effects of the war are continuing to radiate outwards, a kind of inverse chaos theory.

A war breaks out in Iran, and somewhere in the Amazon rainforest, a butterfly flaps its wings to try to change the channel on the TV.

It's had enough news and wants to watch some tennis.

We've already seen airlines cancel flights, various other impacts, and now a Japanese snack food company

said to switch to a black and white colour scheme or lack of colour scheme on some of its products as supply chain issues have left it without enough ink to make its packets colourful enough to prompt children properly to pester their parents in supermarkets.

So this is huge in terms of pester power and the impact that could have on the global economy.

It's a very concerning time for everyone.

We'll bring the mystery back to televised snooker.

Also, return to a black and white world would make news bulletins much perkier.

They tend to be quite serious and quite ominous a lot of the time.

But go back to old black and white cafe news bulletins.

And there goes the plucky American missile off to find a nice little school to blow to pieces.