Andy Zaltzman

It's certainly true to say that Lee Harvey Oswald and Bruce Springsteen did not win the men's doubles at Wimbledon in 1963.

It was Mexico's Asuna and Palafox who won against the French pair Barkley and Darmon.

And there is also no record of a fist fight or javelin throwing during the match.

We also review the other Michael film, which is a biopic of General Sir Michael Jackson, the former head of the British Army.

Unfortunately, time for release on the same weekend as Michael, the Michael Jackson pop star biopic.

Similarly questionable in terms of accuracy, the scene in which General Sir Michael wrestled Mano and Mano with Hitler on the edge of a cliff has had the history pedants up in arms.

But it's amazingly choreographed.

And the culminatory tombstone pile driver move with which Jackson won the war is one that the undertaker himself would have been proud of.

And finally, St.

Peter Arab Slayer, tagline, the real story of the greatest U.S.

defense secretary in the history of the universe, tells the story of how Pete Hegseth developed from his miraculous birth in a single shaft of sunshine in the middle of a hurricane that destroyed everything else within a thousand mile radius via Jesus' own personal blessing from the cross.

into Donald Trump's human emissary on Earth and heroic commander of all recorded crusades.

There is some disagreement in the historical community over whether Hegseth did actually throw a nuke down Osama bin Laden's throat at the siege of Jerusalem in the year 1099, but it's a f***ing great scene in a truly amazing story.

That's what encyclopedias are for.

Well, there you are, Buglers.

That is your bonus sub-episode for this week.

We will be back next week with the fantastic Josh Gondelman and Alice Fraser for all the latest from this ridiculous planet and its even more ridiculous current species in charge.

Make sure also to check out the Bugle Sister podcasts from the wonderful comedic mind of Alice Fraser, Realms Unknown and The Gargle.

And there's a Gargle live show at the Bill Murray in London on the 26th of June.

Tickets on sale now.