Andy Zaltzman

Alice is also performing...

at the Edinburgh Festival in August, along with various other Bugle co-hosts, including Tom Ballard, who's show Be Funny Challenge, brackets, impossible brackets, is now on sale.

It's at the Monkey Barrel at the Tron through August, 4.25pm, almost every day.

Until next week, Buglers, goodbye.

Hello, I am Andy Zaltzman, as you may know.

The Bugle, as well as being the world's only ever longest-running and arguably best audio newspaper for a visual world, is one of the very few fully independent media empires remaining in this thus far very silly millennium.

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Is your long-term relationship increasingly strained?

Do you find that where once you could discuss difficult subjects with civility, now things tend to descend into mudslinging, name-calling and petty insults?

Are you worried that so many hurtful words have already been said between you that things will never quite be the same again?

Then maybe you need... a King Charles III...