Angela Giarratana

My apartment door is narrow, so I had to take the door entirely off the hinges and shimmy the cooler into the living room.

It had maybe a millimeter of clearance between the frame and the unit.

I was exhausted and excited, so I started researching installation on my phone before putting my front door back on.

That's when my landlord walked in.

Oh, no.

Apparently, he believes my door being off the hinges somehow removes my reasonable right to privacy.

We already have a strained relationship.

Because of my own use of the unit, he still holds a grudge because I was doing some light metal fabrication with a consumer plasma cutter in my kitchen a few months ago.

He saw the cooler, the vacuum sealer, and the wheel of heritage cheese and started crying about commercial operations and fire hazards.

I told him very clearly, the cheese is for personal consumption.

I'm losing it.

The cheese is a fire hazard now.

The cheese is a fire hazard and now it's for personal consumption.

There is nothing in my lease that limits how much dairy a tenant can own.

Where's the dairy part of the lease?

The next morning, I found an eviction notice in my mailbox.

Because of cheese.

This is nuts!

It's riddled with spelling errors as if written in haste.

I'm already preparing my defense for the landlord-tenant board.