Anna Runkle
speaker
240 appearances
7 recordings
2 series
first heard May 2025
last heard 19 Nov
Anna Runkle’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Nov 2025 with 5.
Appearances
LO is limerent object.
The person you're limerent on. It's kind of a silly word, but yeah.
Yeah. And I think the limerent object is actually a figment of your imagination. The person is a person, a whole human being, and they're not necessarily very well matched at all. And so it can be very intrusive when the real person says what they have to say. It doesn't match at all where you've been going in the story in your mind for so long. So it can be hard to bear and you want to avoid it.
Well, my opinion is neglect from a parent. And I think there's something about alcoholism. I had a severely alcoholic mom, like hardcore, and other drugs. And I had a lot of alcoholism in my family. So that's always been something I've been around. I've been around other people who grew up like that. I feel like we're a tribe. I feel affinity with people who grew up like that.
We just kind of understand each other. And, and so I noticed that that's highly correlated with people who end up limerent, but also neglected, not seen. I think there are other pathologies, other weird, when I say pathology, I just want to be careful. Like, look, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, but I, I, I've worked, I've done a lot of work on this.
And, uh, and so there's this sick aspect around it where, uh, People, what causes it? I mean, really, there are life conditions that cause it. There may be a genetic component. Severe neglect teaches you to find love where there is no love. It's like, you know, daddy and me, we have, you know, he's so special. He can't be here right now.
And he's violent, but I know he loves me and I'm the best girl to him. I'm the light of his life and we have this very special thing. So you have this idealization of a parent, which you should, you must, right? What does that do to a kid? To believe your parents don't care about you and wish you were never born, that is not something a kid can handle. So it's a survival mechanism.
And I always just say, thank God for the survival mechanisms. Whatever allowed your little spirit to convince itself it could carry on. Now you're here, but now you're an adult, and that's got to come off. Yeah. Now we have to get real. Now we have to get honest about what's really happening here, which is a total dedication to something that doesn't exist and a total absence of real life.
And people will abandon their goals, their friendships, and to continue to just keep thinking about this person that's giving them that uplift they need. People are lonely. People are depressed. So some people, their pattern, they get out of depression by being angry all the time. And some people get out of it by thinking of a beautiful relationship that is just any day now. Obsession.
It's going to begin, yeah. Or some people fantasize about... great business success. I'm sure you've met people like that, where they're just being totally unrealistic. And every time the going gets tough, they're like, yeah, but when I've got my billion dollar whatever, and you're just like, yeah, but you don't even have a website. So it's the same thing.
And again, I don't mean to make fun of it. It's like this natural drive for us to try to express the best in ourselves, but there's this little piece missing. So we have to take bold action to, to overcome it. Now, some wounds that happen in life are like a scrape and they're going to heal naturally. Time is going to do it.
You don't even have to know how to heal it, but some are like an amputation. And if you, if you lose a leg, you know, some people have, it's not going to grow back. You can't get it back. You're You can't get it back, but there's a way to carry on. In the case of a leg, literally, you can have a prosthesis. They're pretty good now. Some people even run marathons.
There's much you can do despite this injury. And in a way, it's a healing. When you find your workaround, it's a healing, and it will work, and it's enough. It's enough for you to become fully expressed as a person and reach your potential. With limerence, it's the same thing. Something's not coming back.
Personally, when I used to go to therapy, some of the stuff they said, it just wasn't helpful. Validating my feelings about it wasn't helpful. Nowadays, I think if there's a lot of just talking about it, why, what happened, how did you end up feeling this way, that goes on too long, I think, at a certain point. It's just like, okay, now, you have to get honest with yourself.
You must stop talking about this. You have to break contact with this person, even if you have to change jobs. You know, there's just no other way.
Yeah. Yeah. And maybe even in real life, maybe you dated somebody briefly and you really felt like your life came into technicolor with them. You could really just feel like, ah, this is what it's like to be in the presence of something divine. Or you feel yourself sort of coming up and shining a bright light into the world. It feels really good in a very important way.
And then they take it away from you and you feel like there's no other way to get it back. And on a certain level, whatever we have with somebody else, we can't You can get something like it with somebody else. But let's be honest, you know, people are not completely interchangeable.
Well, I guess. I think that would be handy if you could, but you just stay fixated on that person. I cannot fully exist. I can't really hop into my full dimension as a person unless I'm with this other person. The world feels bleak. A lot of people will say that. It feels like it went to black and white. It's like when Dorothy walks out of the house after the tornado.
It's just like, oh, yeah, it's like this. This is what life is meant to be like. It's kind of like what drugs are like, really pleasant drugs, right? It just feels like the meaning becomes clear. So there's this lack of meaning that makes that feel like the only solution, like it's everything. There's a lack of meaning, there's a lack of connection and it's no fun.
Like it's not fun being alone and it's not fun feeling stuck in yourself and having no real people to love.
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