Ari Matti

I can do comedy either direction.

I mean, I could use that if I ever... I'm a nice lady, but... You ever forget about me again, you're going back in the cement wall.

Too soon.

I have a fun fact about me.

I also do comedy songs, too.

I play guitar and I have it somewhere.

They have it in the back.

Almost every... Like 10 or 15.

I mean, I have an amnesia disorder, so let's say... Okay, you are correct.

Does that sound like a good number?

so it's kind of important it's um hi so I have a lazy eyelid and a lot of you may not realize this but the lazy eyelid community is very underrepresented in Hollywood it's uh there's really only one reason for that which is we've had a mega star on top for several decades who stopped at nothing to hold the rest of us back that ends today Forrest Whitaker

I'm Whittier, and I'm your nemesis.

Forest Whitaker.

When I was a little girl, I used to get bullied for having a lazy eyelid.

They called me Quasimodo.

Sloth from Goonies.

Rocky after the fight.

And I used to cry the whole way home, but then I'd be happy because I'd turn on the TV and there was my hero, Lisa Left Eye from TLC.

She used to celebrate having a lazy eyelid, but then she died of unnatural and unexpected circumstances.

Rest in peace.