Ari Matti

I'm your nemesis.

Your move, Forest Whitaker.

Your move.

In my defense, that was after several decades of oppression.

So that's a long song.

That song's called Run, Forest, Run.

Just everybody.

Yeah.

So did anybody else used to think that bestiality was illegal because that's how you create supreme beings?

Like... Like getting a dog pregnant creates werewolves.

Getting a horse pregnant creates centaurs.

Flushing your cum down the toilet sends it to the ocean.

Sends it to the ocean, getting fish pregnant, creating mermaids.

But see, I'm gullible and white trash, so the second I realized I was attracted to every mermaid I seen on TV, I was like, yup, those gotta be my daughters.

Like, I've seen The Little Mermaid, so obviously my next move was to go get some scuba shit so I could find some Octobitch, somehow convince her to use her magic to take my new kids' voices away before my new kids tell someone else that I'm their dad and I get charged with bestiality.

I hit a year in September, so about a year and a half now.

I don't think I have one besides, like, social anxiety.

Okay.

All right.

I mean, like, I could put my foot over my head.