Arthur C. Brooks

For both.

So the woman gets three times as much oxytocin, but she also starves more because she needs more.

One of the things that drives couples apart is that they don't look at each other in the eyes when they talk.

Guys don't know this.

She needs direct eye contact whenever you're talking.

You can almost save a marriage.

by making eye contact when you talk.

Your wife will stray from you emotionally because you're not looking at her in the eyes and she's not getting oxytocin and she doesn't know what's wrong.

And that's an example of the complexity that's hard to explain that you actually have to experience.

Men need touch more.

So one of the things that men need, because they have more of this vasopressin, which is another neuropeptide, that's a defense and loyalty and the warrior spirit that I would fight a tiger for you.

That's when you're walking down the street with your husband and you hook your arm into his, oh,

He's the king.

He's the king.

But it's mostly, it's mostly that it's like, yeah, it's cuddling, but it's mostly just, it's the hand holding really, really important to men.

It's like having his arm around you, really important in sort of the masculine sort of touch.

These are two things that I recommend to every couple because it actually gets us toward more toward the experience of the complexity that comes from romantic love.

More eye contact and more touch.

ABT, always be touching, always be touching.

But always when you're talking, always be making eye contact.