Ashley Salazar

Yeah.

Like I, when it comes to deadlines, I found, or like, um, being somewhere, even just something as small as that, like being smart, like five o'clock.

I'm like, Oh my God, I'm running late.

I have to do this.

Oh my gosh.

Like, it feels like my whole world is like going to collapse.

Is it really?

To get over it.

Yeah, and it's not fair.

And I feel like a lot of the stuff that's shown about it are like success stories.

And it's like, not that like, it's not a success story on my, like, I don't even, I wouldn't even call it a success story, like anything like that, but everything it's, it's portrayed differently.

Like a lot of like adoption situations, like, like if you, I don't know if that's just for like media or like advertising or what, but I don't think anyone like gets down to like the nitty gritty of like the aftermath and what it might like.

how that how you might be affected or yeah or feel um or like we said earlier how you you know you don't ever think about like the children you're raising in the future you don't think that's not even a thought that passes your mind yeah i literally did not even the only thing i thought about was uh oh my gosh like i don't think i could ever love um another kid the same kind of thing um those are the things are like oh my gosh i'm gonna feel like i i thought about her she's gonna feel so guilty if i have another kid yeah or not not guilty i'm gonna feel so guilty if

for having another one because she's going to feel like, Oh, why not me?

Especially since we're in the same family still, um, like they're raising her in my family.

Um, so yeah, those are the things I thought of, um,

But yeah, like you don't think about how it might affect the kid you're about to have.

Like that wasn't even a thought in my mind of how it's going to affect my son.

is there anything like when you look back at just your journey that you would want to change or do differently or wish that you would have had throughout all these years oh man um somebody who could relate but I mean that's that's tough um do differently I think I would have been more vocal throughout like the filming and everything about what I was going through and um

Um, that I wouldn't want to be like, I don't want to say pressured for a deadline.