Ashlyn Harris

There's a difference between healthy anger and destructive anger. Again, this is not my insight. This is the way in psychological circles they talk about it. that can get you off the couch to do something about a problem. And it's clarifying it. Healthy anger can help us see clearly where somebody's full of shit.

Although there's a reason why we talk about anger as seeing red, because it can also be, you know, blind with blind rage. And so that's the destructive anger, which where that's an anger fueled by hatred, fueled by bias, bigotry. And it can get us into endless conflict. And that's what you want to avoid. That's what I've failed to avoid for too many times in my own life.

Although there's a reason why we talk about anger as seeing red, because it can also be, you know, blind with blind rage. And so that's the destructive anger, which where that's an anger fueled by hatred, fueled by bias, bigotry. And it can get us into endless conflict. And that's what you want to avoid. That's what I've failed to avoid for too many times in my own life.

And that's still screw that up, you know, regularly. But it's nothing can happen. until you identify the problem. You talked about this earlier, you know, like one of the things that meditation does for you is it helps you be aware of stuff so that you can work with it. And so, yeah, this is one of my big things that I have to work with.

And that's still screw that up, you know, regularly. But it's nothing can happen. until you identify the problem. You talked about this earlier, you know, like one of the things that meditation does for you is it helps you be aware of stuff so that you can work with it. And so, yeah, this is one of my big things that I have to work with.

defensiveness or dismissiveness. If I am dismissing something out of hand, it's usually something I should listen to. And if I'm getting defensive, it's because there's something I know I should hear that I'm unwilling to hear at that moment. And I almost never catch it. I almost never catch it in the moment. I almost never catch it in the moment.

defensiveness or dismissiveness. If I am dismissing something out of hand, it's usually something I should listen to. And if I'm getting defensive, it's because there's something I know I should hear that I'm unwilling to hear at that moment. And I almost never catch it. I almost never catch it in the moment. I almost never catch it in the moment.

But it's usually when I feel embarrassed the next day. You know, it's like it's just I keep coming back to this. You know, I'm so pissed that this person said this thing. It's like, ah, shit, they're probably right. And so I actually got an email the other day from I won't say her name because she didn't give me permission, but from a great meditation teacher who was talking to me about something.

But it's usually when I feel embarrassed the next day. You know, it's like it's just I keep coming back to this. You know, I'm so pissed that this person said this thing. It's like, ah, shit, they're probably right. And so I actually got an email the other day from I won't say her name because she didn't give me permission, but from a great meditation teacher who was talking to me about something.

And I didn't recall her getting defensive, but she recalled herself getting defensive about something, because I was pushing her on something. And she wrote me an email the next day. She was like, I woke up thinking about how I was defensive, and that means that there's something I really need to listen to there, so I'm going to go in that direction you push me.

And I didn't recall her getting defensive, but she recalled herself getting defensive about something, because I was pushing her on something. And she wrote me an email the next day. She was like, I woke up thinking about how I was defensive, and that means that there's something I really need to listen to there, so I'm going to go in that direction you push me.

And that's usually how I get past the double bluff.

And that's usually how I get past the double bluff.

It feels good to point at the other person. They're such a schmuck or whatever. But like, of course, you're seeing it so clearly and you hate it so much because it's in you.

It feels good to point at the other person. They're such a schmuck or whatever. But like, of course, you're seeing it so clearly and you hate it so much because it's in you.

There's a great expression. If it's hysterical, it's historical. You know, it's like you're getting hysterical about something. There's some it's some deep programming. And yeah, I hate admitting that. Yeah.

There's a great expression. If it's hysterical, it's historical. You know, it's like you're getting hysterical about something. There's some it's some deep programming. And yeah, I hate admitting that. Yeah.

I mean, you interview all sorts of people, but you interview a lot of like great folks from the meditation world. And so do I. And so in my experience, the common denominator among all of the great like spiritual masters, right, if that's a term that you're okay with, the common denominator is they all have a sense of humor. Because how can you look at this mind without laughing after a while?

I mean, you interview all sorts of people, but you interview a lot of like great folks from the meditation world. And so do I. And so in my experience, the common denominator among all of the great like spiritual masters, right, if that's a term that you're okay with, the common denominator is they all have a sense of humor. Because how can you look at this mind without laughing after a while?

The word that my meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein, uses most frequently is ridiculous.