Awhina

I was done.

I've tried my hardest and...

I didn't want to be there anymore.

So walking into friends and family, I'd actually texted my twin sister that morning and I said, go easy on Adrian.

If we're here, I don't need this level of hostility.

Like I'm struggling enough as it is.

Like everyone can see.

that I'm struggling, like I'm a shell that day.

And then I sat down and I thought it could be nice, a nice friends and family, they're just gonna catch up, we can eat, we can have a few drinks and let's just come on like civility, like we're grownups.

I was met with instant hostility.

It was an interrogation off the get-go.

And afterwards, when I said that that was hostile, it was an interrogation, Adrian deflected that back onto me and made me feel like, no, Cleo and I were in the wrong and we were the bad guys and we attacked and our aggression was wrong and our language was wrong.

And then even when we were in a group dynamic that night at the dinner party...

He was telling everyone his, you know, warped reality.

I could hear him on the outside telling everyone his version of events and I do feel like a lot of people failed me that night because I think that more people should have stood up for me in that moment.

Like I cried.

i think the reason i cried is because i when the experiment was over i could breathe i was happy but i actually left this experience going i'm the bad guy i genuinely did i told cleo i'm gonna be made out like the villain i was made to feel like the villain so everyone else was watching it back like aren't you happy like you're so supported like the other applicants that watch this i won't name them but

you know like you've got all the air time for this and aren't you happy for this and you know people saw your point of perspective like no i'm not happy because as much as it's like validating for other people it was it was hard for me to watch because i was made to feel like the bad guy in that moment

And watching it back out, I was going, you weren't the bad person, Avina.

You were valid in how you felt.