Awhina

He doesn't have to show up as a partner yet.

So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt to get to know me and put in the work that I'm putting in.

We've given up a lot to be here.

Let's try.

And I felt like

I was the only one trying consistently.

And it was just really hard for me to kind of go, when do you kind of draw the lines when there's so many more layers than everyone else has seen?

Like you've got production, you've got other cast members, like cast members, but...

You know, applicants or whatever.

Participants.

Participants.

You've got so many layers.

And also when you're that, because I never watched the show before, when you're that one in a relationship where it is tumultuous, it's scary.

Because you go to these commitment ceremonies and you're exposing yourself to the group and you're opening yourself up to criticism.

And everyone online's only seen criticism towards Adrian.

What they haven't shown is all the criticism that I also received whilst in the experiments.

The experts, from other applicants.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

So in those early few commitment ceremonies, I addressed a few times where I didn't think Adrian and I were compatible.