Beauregard T. Raccoon

Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Mikey Gilder and you're listening to Uprooted. Here's what happened last time. Consult Nostradamus. I mean Quasimodo. I mean we've been begging you to.

Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Mikey Gilder and you're listening to Uprooted. Here's what happened last time. Consult Nostradamus. I mean Quasimodo. I mean we've been begging you to.

You are leaving Jean-Claude and Grumly. You hear the yelling and screaming of Louis Ledoux as he wants to kill the accountant, as he wants to kill Jean-Luc Chanticleer. And you make your way into the town, leaving the hungry catfish behind you. You walk through the streets and you realize just how many, you know, this is predominantly a

You are leaving Jean-Claude and Grumly. You hear the yelling and screaming of Louis Ledoux as he wants to kill the accountant, as he wants to kill Jean-Luc Chanticleer. And you make your way into the town, leaving the hungry catfish behind you. You walk through the streets and you realize just how many, you know, this is predominantly a

You get back to the clearing and you peer through and you don't even need to roll a perception check. Wonderful. As you hear, you see two figures. You see a squirrel gentleman and a raccoon gentleman about the same age, kind of arm in arm, crying. And you hear Beauregard saying, oh, Booker, he was dead. Oh, let's go to the Bilbon track to gamble on Sorrows Away Pendleton.

You get back to the clearing and you peer through and you don't even need to roll a perception check. Wonderful. As you hear, you see two figures. You see a squirrel gentleman and a raccoon gentleman about the same age, kind of arm in arm, crying. And you hear Beauregard saying, oh, Booker, he was dead. Oh, let's go to the Bilbon track to gamble on Sorrows Away Pendleton.

Yeah, from what I saw, it was really gruesome, I think.

Yeah, from what I saw, it was really gruesome, I think.

But I remember.

But I remember.

Oh! You see, 22, it's so convincing. It takes a while, but as you see a recognition, a light on his face, I'm going to make an intelligence check.

Oh! You see, 22, it's so convincing. It takes a while, but as you see a recognition, a light on his face, I'm going to make an intelligence check.

For Beauregard. His eyes light up.

For Beauregard. His eyes light up.

Oh my god! Oh! We don't have to go to the track anymore, Pendleton! My boy's alive! He and presumably all of his friends are alive! Oh, I gotta go. You can't follow me, but go gamble in my stead. Put a big one on. I can't believe that I got married and got stuck in a loveless relationship. Put it all on that one. That was always a good pill bug. I gotta go, Pendleton. Oh, joyous day.

Oh my god! Oh! We don't have to go to the track anymore, Pendleton! My boy's alive! He and presumably all of his friends are alive! Oh, I gotta go. You can't follow me, but go gamble in my stead. Put a big one on. I can't believe that I got married and got stuck in a loveless relationship. Put it all on that one. That was always a good pill bug. I gotta go, Pendleton. Oh, joyous day.

And you hear a loud rattling. as your father starts hustling in your direction, and he goes, I say to myself, yes, that's the response, he heard me. As you see that he has an enormous sack filled with stuff, that's bigger than the bag in Booker's original art, if you recall. That's very funny. It's a big bag. As you hear rattling of just a bunch of junk, as he is, oh, karukukuku!

And you hear a loud rattling. as your father starts hustling in your direction, and he goes, I say to myself, yes, that's the response, he heard me. As you see that he has an enormous sack filled with stuff, that's bigger than the bag in Booker's original art, if you recall. That's very funny. It's a big bag. As you hear rattling of just a bunch of junk, as he is, oh, karukukuku!

He and his friends! Oh, you little orphan, what day is it? Oh, it's the equivalent of Wednesday! Oh, what a day! He tries to click his heels together and it drops and he falls on his face. Oh, fuck! Oh!

He and his friends! Oh, you little orphan, what day is it? Oh, it's the equivalent of Wednesday! Oh, what a day! He tries to click his heels together and it drops and he falls on his face. Oh, fuck! Oh!

a fox clearing, but you see a great number of otters, now hyper-aware, given your decisions. Just how many employees and members of the Riverfolk Company and the crime family at the head of it there are. And not just that, you also see the buildings in the treetops where the birds of every clearing live, but just how many heavily armed Erie soldiers there are in this place.

a fox clearing, but you see a great number of otters, now hyper-aware, given your decisions. Just how many employees and members of the Riverfolk Company and the crime family at the head of it there are. And not just that, you also see the buildings in the treetops where the birds of every clearing live, but just how many heavily armed Erie soldiers there are in this place.

Once he gets to me. I'm coming. And he finally bursts through. You see the large sack of stuff that he has. Oh, Dad, you heard the call. Oh, I knew I taught you well, son. I heard the response.

Once he gets to me. I'm coming. And he finally bursts through. You see the large sack of stuff that he has. Oh, Dad, you heard the call. Oh, I knew I taught you well, son. I heard the response.

You made up an excuse? Oh, yeah. Oh, I told good Pendleton the good news. Oh, I'm glad we're okay. Okay, good. Great. I thought that the Eerie arrested you on account of all of the terrorism you got mixed up in. Well, they tried to, but we had a really good attorney. He got us off. I heard on the local news that they're going to execute a whole bunch of people about it.

You made up an excuse? Oh, yeah. Oh, I told good Pendleton the good news. Oh, I'm glad we're okay. Okay, good. Great. I thought that the Eerie arrested you on account of all of the terrorism you got mixed up in. Well, they tried to, but we had a really good attorney. He got us off. I heard on the local news that they're going to execute a whole bunch of people about it.

The leader of the rebels and then the accomplices. Good, good. That guy, oh, God. That bastard Ness is going to get what's coming to him. Anyway, what did you bring? Why do you have all this stuff? Oh, I brought all my stuff that I need. I'm going to be spending a while away from my bachelor pay.

The leader of the rebels and then the accomplices. Good, good. That guy, oh, God. That bastard Ness is going to get what's coming to him. Anyway, what did you bring? Why do you have all this stuff? Oh, I brought all my stuff that I need. I'm going to be spending a while away from my bachelor pay.

If there's something in this world that you want, you need it.

If there's something in this world that you want, you need it.

Let's go.

Let's go.

I don't know about that. I need it. Okay, let's go meet your friends. Oh, I thought they all died. You should have heard Pendleton. He said it was gruesome.

I don't know about that. I need it. Okay, let's go meet your friends. Oh, I thought they all died. You should have heard Pendleton. He said it was gruesome.

Oh, gosh, well, you think they got like a cheap motel on the way so we can at least be comfortable on the road? No, the closest clearing is Nookington.

Oh, gosh, well, you think they got like a cheap motel on the way so we can at least be comfortable on the road? No, the closest clearing is Nookington.

You hear the rustling of junk as you see Booker and his dad join you.

You hear the rustling of junk as you see Booker and his dad join you.

Probably talk some sense into him. As soon as he arrives, there's actually a tree with a low branch that looks a little sharp. It catches him. Oh, no! As he gets ripped in two, and all of his junk spills out. Oh, no! All of my stuff! He falls onto his knees and he tries to, like, mac and cheese boxes are torn open.

Probably talk some sense into him. As soon as he arrives, there's actually a tree with a low branch that looks a little sharp. It catches him. Oh, no! As he gets ripped in two, and all of his junk spills out. Oh, no! All of my stuff! He falls onto his knees and he tries to, like, mac and cheese boxes are torn open.

And you make your way into the town. Booker, Bitsy, and Peggy, you are leaving the... Bitsy's with me. Oh, Bitsy is with you guys. Peggy and Booker, you are leaving Beauregard. Yeah, Bitsy and I eat breakfast together. So Peggy and Booker, you are leaving as Beauregard allegedly is... packing his things, and is going to meet you in the hour. Yeah. And you are walking through the streets.

And you make your way into the town. Booker, Bitsy, and Peggy, you are leaving the... Bitsy's with me. Oh, Bitsy is with you guys. Peggy and Booker, you are leaving Beauregard. Yeah, Bitsy and I eat breakfast together. So Peggy and Booker, you are leaving as Beauregard allegedly is... packing his things, and is going to meet you in the hour. Yeah. And you are walking through the streets.

Beauregard has put on novelty plastic shades.

Beauregard has put on novelty plastic shades.

You're right, Booker. You know what, I don't need any of that stuff. It's a good thing that my life got uprooted.

You're right, Booker. You know what, I don't need any of that stuff. It's a good thing that my life got uprooted.

You're right. It's just the two of us and your friends on an adventure. It's like reclaiming the adventure of my youth when I, too, used to be a little bit in the back of my mind.

You're right. It's just the two of us and your friends on an adventure. It's like reclaiming the adventure of my youth when I, too, used to be a little bit in the back of my mind.

That's right. I wasn't saying that you were going to stay and we were going to hang out and be buddies for a while. I mean, you don't need your old man. Your old man taught you everything he already knows. Okay, Dad.

That's right. I wasn't saying that you were going to stay and we were going to hang out and be buddies for a while. I mean, you don't need your old man. Your old man taught you everything he already knows. Okay, Dad.

Yeah, you're right, son.

Yeah, you're right, son.

You start heading west in the direction that you told him to meet. We'll just say that you told him to meet somewhere. Narratively, you've got to decide where you meet him, and that's where he'll meet you. Yeah, the edge of the clearing. And eventually, you all run into each other. You guys have been heading back to Beauregard's apartment and filled with breakfast.

You start heading west in the direction that you told him to meet. We'll just say that you told him to meet somewhere. Narratively, you've got to decide where you meet him, and that's where he'll meet you. Yeah, the edge of the clearing. And eventually, you all run into each other. You guys have been heading back to Beauregard's apartment and filled with breakfast.

Why don't we pull them out? So you can take the woods to Nookington. And so the question is then, do you want to take the road or do you want to just cut across the main road from Drake Smith to Nookington and just take the woods all the time?

Why don't we pull them out? So you can take the woods to Nookington. And so the question is then, do you want to take the road or do you want to just cut across the main road from Drake Smith to Nookington and just take the woods all the time?

Wait, a double funeral? That's what we heard. Yeah, it's not looking good. You think there's any single aunts in that family? After a funeral, everybody's always looking for... Yeah, we should keep... We should take the woods. We should keep over God's way. We should absolutely... We're going with the woods. We should go to a double funeral, baby! Knock it off, Dad, that's creepy.

Wait, a double funeral? That's what we heard. Yeah, it's not looking good. You think there's any single aunts in that family? After a funeral, everybody's always looking for... Yeah, we should keep... We should take the woods. We should keep over God's way. We should absolutely... We're going with the woods. We should go to a double funeral, baby! Knock it off, Dad, that's creepy.

Okay. Well. I'm saying I'm saying if there's anyone single any single now You're being you're being a creep. You're being a creepy guy. Okay?

Okay. Well. I'm saying I'm saying if there's anyone single any single now You're being you're being a creep. You're being a creepy guy. Okay?

Okay, I'm just standing here collecting my mac and cheese Settle down all right. Okay.

Okay, I'm just standing here collecting my mac and cheese Settle down all right. Okay.

I guess Jean-Claude is not filled. Plenty of room! What do you all do as you see each other? You are also now hyper-aware of just how many otters and eerie soldiers there are around.

I guess Jean-Claude is not filled. Plenty of room! What do you all do as you see each other? You are also now hyper-aware of just how many otters and eerie soldiers there are around.

Okay. You're being a creep. Whoa whoa gosh Times have changed, you can't just say that you want to go to a funeral and get on some grieving ants these days. Guys, you can't say nothing these days.

Okay. You're being a creep. Whoa whoa gosh Times have changed, you can't just say that you want to go to a funeral and get on some grieving ants these days. Guys, you can't say nothing these days.

Should we pick up at least the boxes of mac and cheese?

Should we pick up at least the boxes of mac and cheese?

Shit. Well, fine, I'll just make a new sat control out of my old bag, all this stuff. Just make sure you only bring the mac and cheese, all right? Oh, my little bobble-headed dancing ocelot. Is that Ocelot wearing a hula skirt?

Shit. Well, fine, I'll just make a new sat control out of my old bag, all this stuff. Just make sure you only bring the mac and cheese, all right? Oh, my little bobble-headed dancing ocelot. Is that Ocelot wearing a hula skirt?

Oh gosh, fine, I'll leave her, too.

Oh gosh, fine, I'll leave her, too.

It's a little sloth monkey. He's got hands. It's a famous cryptid. There might be I used to come out into these woods looking for the Ocelot. I had a bunch of buddies that I used to be in a cryptid enjoyer and researcher group. We never found Trace of the Ocelot, but I know that she exists.

It's a little sloth monkey. He's got hands. It's a famous cryptid. There might be I used to come out into these woods looking for the Ocelot. I had a bunch of buddies that I used to be in a cryptid enjoyer and researcher group. We never found Trace of the Ocelot, but I know that she exists.

They got little hands. They got little hands? That's the Ocelot Las Little, you know? They walk around and everyone says that it's just a critter in an Ocelot costume.

They got little hands. They got little hands? That's the Ocelot Las Little, you know? They walk around and everyone says that it's just a critter in an Ocelot costume.

They've been plenty of sightings.

They've been plenty of sightings.

No, I don't believe it. We gotta go back and kill Pendleton. Oh, he's good people. He's a nice guy.

No, I don't believe it. We gotta go back and kill Pendleton. Oh, he's good people. He's a nice guy.

I don't know, I've never been a mathematician. Do we have to cross the river? Thousands, thousands.

I don't know, I've never been a mathematician. Do we have to cross the river? Thousands, thousands.

Or does the demon use the matrixes? No, we don't have to cross anything. We can just go, we just go. We could cross once and then cross it again. Dad, have you been drinking? Oh no, you're right, it's directly south of us. No, sorry, that's just me. Okay, well, I have done a little roughing it in my youth, and I spent time in these woods looking for the fabled ocelot. Never found it. Hold on.

Or does the demon use the matrixes? No, we don't have to cross anything. We can just go, we just go. We could cross once and then cross it again. Dad, have you been drinking? Oh no, you're right, it's directly south of us. No, sorry, that's just me. Okay, well, I have done a little roughing it in my youth, and I spent time in these woods looking for the fabled ocelot. Never found it. Hold on.

I see these boxes are all just filled with loose macaroni.

I see these boxes are all just filled with loose macaroni.

That's funny. Yeah. I've got wilderness survival all up here in the noggin. Fuzz Scouts. It's all still there.

That's funny. Yeah. I've got wilderness survival all up here in the noggin. Fuzz Scouts. It's all still there.

Well... Leave it to me to lead us through these woods. Oh! Of course, Mr. T. Raccoon. We're right behind you. Like Book said, we were fuzz scouts. I made it to bearded dragon. I taught little Booker everything he knows. So, uh... Okay, if there's moss growing on this side, then we gotta go this way, I think. All right, this way. No, Wes is that way.

Well... Leave it to me to lead us through these woods. Oh! Of course, Mr. T. Raccoon. We're right behind you. Like Book said, we were fuzz scouts. I made it to bearded dragon. I taught little Booker everything he knows. So, uh... Okay, if there's moss growing on this side, then we gotta go this way, I think. All right, this way. No, Wes is that way.

Don't worry, I'm warming up.

Don't worry, I'm warming up.

Okay, I got my satchel of macaroni. Goodbye. Hula ocelot.

Okay, I got my satchel of macaroni. Goodbye. Hula ocelot.

Maybe this is good for character development for me. Surely nothing can go wrong in these woods. Well, there's a lot that can go wrong in the woods, Chad. That's why we're being careful, all right? All right. Okay. Let's go. And he leads you. I need everyone to make a survival check to see how we do. And what do you do as you spend... You do a full day's travel from about noon to... Oh, not bad.

Maybe this is good for character development for me. Surely nothing can go wrong in these woods. Well, there's a lot that can go wrong in the woods, Chad. That's why we're being careful, all right? All right. Okay. Let's go. And he leads you. I need everyone to make a survival check to see how we do. And what do you do as you spend... You do a full day's travel from about noon to... Oh, not bad.

Not bad.

Not bad.

Survival. You're going through the woods. Oh. So how are you trying to assist in going through the woods? I would be trying to...

Survival. You're going through the woods. Oh. So how are you trying to assist in going through the woods? I would be trying to...

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to roll with the Borogar.

I'm going to roll with the Borogar.

He actually, surprisingly, starts to get it, and with Grumly sniffing around, with Booker's experience being a fuzz scout, and his dad, the stumbling of the other three allows you to actually make a fairly direct path towards Nookintown. We're going around. Yeah, we're going around. We're going around. I guess towards the northwest. Yep. Keeping away, so going through the heart of the forest.

He actually, surprisingly, starts to get it, and with Grumly sniffing around, with Booker's experience being a fuzz scout, and his dad, the stumbling of the other three allows you to actually make a fairly direct path towards Nookintown. We're going around. Yeah, we're going around. We're going around. I guess towards the northwest. Yep. Keeping away, so going through the heart of the forest.

Yeah, and so you know when... The deepest, darkest parts of the forest. Yeah, the deepest, darkest part of the forest. You know that these woods... With no access to water.

Yeah, and so you know when... The deepest, darkest parts of the forest. Yeah, the deepest, darkest part of the forest. You know that these woods... With no access to water.

While the edges of the forests are used for hunting of the creatures in the woods and for foraging, the deepest, darkest parts of the forest are avoided by all denizens of the Dimwood, because the stability that was brought by the Marquisat, and by building the roads and cutting the path through the forest, to allow for much safer travel. It's not been done here.

While the edges of the forests are used for hunting of the creatures in the woods and for foraging, the deepest, darkest parts of the forest are avoided by all denizens of the Dimwood, because the stability that was brought by the Marquisat, and by building the roads and cutting the path through the forest, to allow for much safer travel. It's not been done here.

The things that lurk here have not dealt with civilization, in many cases, many years, if not ever. As the sun goes down, as darkness falls, it being autumn, the sun sets quite early, and you know that it is foolishness to try to continue onward while it's dark. You eventually make a camp, and the fire is crackling as the... It feels... very eerie to be in the heart of the wood.

The things that lurk here have not dealt with civilization, in many cases, many years, if not ever. As the sun goes down, as darkness falls, it being autumn, the sun sets quite early, and you know that it is foolishness to try to continue onward while it's dark. You eventually make a camp, and the fire is crackling as the... It feels... very eerie to be in the heart of the wood.

You know that if you had been able to just cut straight to Nookington, go along the road, you might have risked perhaps being spotted by soldiers of the Eyrie or the Marquis of the Border, but you wouldn't have to face the creatures of the wood. But now as you make your way into the heart of this woodland,

You know that if you had been able to just cut straight to Nookington, go along the road, you might have risked perhaps being spotted by soldiers of the Eyrie or the Marquis of the Border, but you wouldn't have to face the creatures of the wood. But now as you make your way into the heart of this woodland,

You start to hear the snapping of branches, things fluttering overhead, creatures lurking around, chirping of strange insectoid larynxes. You never see what's in these woods, but you hear that this wood is alive and you are not alone. The fire is crackling.

You start to hear the snapping of branches, things fluttering overhead, creatures lurking around, chirping of strange insectoid larynxes. You never see what's in these woods, but you hear that this wood is alive and you are not alone. The fire is crackling.

Hey, you all right?

Hey, you all right?

Well, I've got a nice pot of macaroni cooking. Oh, yum dinner.

Well, I've got a nice pot of macaroni cooking. Oh, yum dinner.

Well, I scooped it up when we passed that stream.

Well, I scooped it up when we passed that stream.

You always got to scoop. Whenever you pass a creek or a stream, you got to make sure you refill your water. Did you boil the water first? I'm boiling it now.

You always got to scoop. Whenever you pass a creek or a stream, you got to make sure you refill your water. Did you boil the water first? I'm boiling it now.

We're already out of mac and cheese. How much did we eat? What do you mean? I had days worth of mac and cheese in this bag. We haven't eaten any mac and cheese. Hold on. Oh, there's a hole in my bag.

We're already out of mac and cheese. How much did we eat? What do you mean? I had days worth of mac and cheese in this bag. We haven't eaten any mac and cheese. Hold on. Oh, there's a hole in my bag.

Well, you're salvaging your ruined bag, huh? I'm making you mac and cheese, and this is how you repay me?

Well, you're salvaging your ruined bag, huh? I'm making you mac and cheese, and this is how you repay me?

That's right. That's right. The lawyer's right. Dysentery cheese. Yeah, I always hear about dysentery in the ranks of the gobble ghoul crime family.

That's right. That's right. The lawyer's right. Dysentery cheese. Yeah, I always hear about dysentery in the ranks of the gobble ghoul crime family.

This is the last pot of mac and cheese. I don't know where the rest of it went.

This is the last pot of mac and cheese. I don't know where the rest of it went.

You big boy like you should be reading the Charmin Stain Bears. That's gross, Dad. Oh, you love the Charmin Stain Bears.

You big boy like you should be reading the Charmin Stain Bears. That's gross, Dad. Oh, you love the Charmin Stain Bears.

I did have it, but I had to throw it out with my junk. There's a whole pile of Charmin stained bears books.

I did have it, but I had to throw it out with my junk. There's a whole pile of Charmin stained bears books.

Well, I heard that you... And there's a story about that in the show. Same there's.

Well, I heard that you... And there's a story about that in the show. Same there's.

I know, I looked at the cover. I would never let Booker read that. He did like his goosebumps, though, but Book, do you remember when we used to go to the Squirlastic Book Fair? I do, I remember those times fondly, Dad, it was good. And you always came with a stack of books, and I'm like, just get one. I couldn't just get one.

I know, I looked at the cover. I would never let Booker read that. He did like his goosebumps, though, but Book, do you remember when we used to go to the Squirlastic Book Fair? I do, I remember those times fondly, Dad, it was good. And you always came with a stack of books, and I'm like, just get one. I couldn't just get one.

That was a good joint. That was a good joint. Oh, I took Booker there when he turned 14. He went to the Harry Possum. Yeah, I was probably a little young back then.

That was a good joint. That was a good joint. Oh, I took Booker there when he turned 14. He went to the Harry Possum. Yeah, I was probably a little young back then.

They had a great grilled cheese. What do you mean? You loved the grilled cheese at the Harry Possum.

They had a great grilled cheese. What do you mean? You loved the grilled cheese at the Harry Possum.

Oh, I forgot about the macaroni. It's a little dry and mushy. But oh, hey, we got this powder. There we go.

Oh, I forgot about the macaroni. It's a little dry and mushy. But oh, hey, we got this powder. There we go.

What's the riverboat company that brings it in? Who knows? They say it's from the Hollywood.

What's the riverboat company that brings it in? Who knows? They say it's from the Hollywood.

Please do.

Please do.

Okay, communal mac and cheese pot, soup's on. And the great thing about being in the woods is you find a stick with two points and you break them off and you got a little spork right here, huh, see?

Okay, communal mac and cheese pot, soup's on. And the great thing about being in the woods is you find a stick with two points and you break them off and you got a little spork right here, huh, see?

It calls up like bark chips.

It calls up like bark chips.

Yeah, they shit off the side. That's exactly right.

Yeah, they shit off the side. That's exactly right.

I'm a big chicken. Unbelievable.

I'm a big chicken. Unbelievable.

Booker always used to tell stories around the campfire in Fuzz Scouts, and he's telling tall tales. You're fine.

Booker always used to tell stories around the campfire in Fuzz Scouts, and he's telling tall tales. You're fine.

I'm not making this up.

I'm not making this up.

Fine, more for me. In your face. I'm going to go to this side of the camp and no one bother me while I'm eating my dookie mac and cheese. I got nature's sport. Give me that nature's sport. Okay, Dad.

Fine, more for me. In your face. I'm going to go to this side of the camp and no one bother me while I'm eating my dookie mac and cheese. I got nature's sport. Give me that nature's sport. Okay, Dad.

Fine. Well, if I need to shit, I can just dig a hole and use moss. That's what nature's toilet paper is. Dig a big enough hole because when you die, you'll fall and it'll be a grave. It was in and you had read that shaman state bears, they're always wiping their ass with moss and you wouldn't know them. Get out of here, Dad. Fine, I'm going to get out of here. I know We're going out of here!

Fine. Well, if I need to shit, I can just dig a hole and use moss. That's what nature's toilet paper is. Dig a big enough hole because when you die, you'll fall and it'll be a grave. It was in and you had read that shaman state bears, they're always wiping their ass with moss and you wouldn't know them. Get out of here, Dad. Fine, I'm going to get out of here. I know We're going out of here!

More for me! So shake that guy! Peggy, as you have been setting up your alarm, you place one cicada.

More for me! So shake that guy! Peggy, as you have been setting up your alarm, you place one cicada.

one cicada, and you're placing them around, you find macaroni. And you kind of look around, and although it's dark, the moon is kind of shining through, and you see that there is a trail of macaroni leading from the camp in the direction that you came, deep into the woods.

one cicada, and you're placing them around, you find macaroni. And you kind of look around, and although it's dark, the moon is kind of shining through, and you see that there is a trail of macaroni leading from the camp in the direction that you came, deep into the woods.

Booker's dad kind of scrumbles by, kicks one of the cicadas. Ah!

Booker's dad kind of scrumbles by, kicks one of the cicadas. Ah!

I'm gonna roll a 22. You snuff, even the embers and the coals are completely out as darkness swallows the camp. I rub my eyes and I try to get my eyes adjusted to the darkness as quickly as possible. It takes a while, it takes a couple minutes, but your eyes do get adjusted as the moonlight, you know, there's a bit of moonlight

I'm gonna roll a 22. You snuff, even the embers and the coals are completely out as darkness swallows the camp. I rub my eyes and I try to get my eyes adjusted to the darkness as quickly as possible. It takes a while, it takes a couple minutes, but your eyes do get adjusted as the moonlight, you know, there's a bit of moonlight

Can, if you are approaching the deepest heart of the forest, but you're not quite through there.

Can, if you are approaching the deepest heart of the forest, but you're not quite through there.

All you hear is the loud breathing and huffing and gurgling mac and cheese of Beauregard as he, in the darkness, is eating his mac and cheese all by himself. And you're at the camp.

All you hear is the loud breathing and huffing and gurgling mac and cheese of Beauregard as he, in the darkness, is eating his mac and cheese all by himself. And you're at the camp.

You hear the voice of Beauregard as he wanders back. Cold camp, huh? That's smart. Dad, keep your voice down.

You hear the voice of Beauregard as he wanders back. Cold camp, huh? That's smart. Dad, keep your voice down.

I never.

I never.

Son, I never did tell you what me and, you remember, you remember Uncle Clarence?

Son, I never did tell you what me and, you remember, you remember Uncle Clarence?

Yeah, good fox guy, you know. We were pals. We were fishing buddies. We were, you know, we hit the track. Okay, where's this going, Dad? He was also an enthusiast of the cryptids. Okay. And I never told you this because I didn't want to scare you. But Clarence and I went out looking for the Ocelot.

Yeah, good fox guy, you know. We were pals. We were fishing buddies. We were, you know, we hit the track. Okay, where's this going, Dad? He was also an enthusiast of the cryptids. Okay. And I never told you this because I didn't want to scare you. But Clarence and I went out looking for the Ocelot.

And he never returned.

And he never returned.

Hold the ladder, Vern! What do you mean, from a certain point of view? But you really should make sure you don't go up a ladder that's not secured. I know, I always... It's very easy to die falling off a ladder.

Hold the ladder, Vern! What do you mean, from a certain point of view? But you really should make sure you don't go up a ladder that's not secured. I know, I always... It's very easy to die falling off a ladder.

It's better than scarring the poor boy after what it was I saw in these very woods. Well, what did you see? That I'm not convinced. We went looking for the ocelot. And I hate to say it, we found it. 20 feet tall. That's more than 15 feet. Horrific long arms and real big hands.

It's better than scarring the poor boy after what it was I saw in these very woods. Well, what did you see? That I'm not convinced. We went looking for the ocelot. And I hate to say it, we found it. 20 feet tall. That's more than 15 feet. Horrific long arms and real big hands.

Short little legs, horrible glowing eyes, a terrible face, hairless, like some sort of hairless mammal face. What? But the little hands that take your teeth, oh, they're there all right. in the thousands, all in its fur. A whole colony of horrific giant centipedes with strange five-fingered hands. They're the ones that steal the teeth and bring it back to the Ocelot.

Short little legs, horrible glowing eyes, a terrible face, hairless, like some sort of hairless mammal face. What? But the little hands that take your teeth, oh, they're there all right. in the thousands, all in its fur. A whole colony of horrific giant centipedes with strange five-fingered hands. They're the ones that steal the teeth and bring it back to the Ocelot.

When it came upon us 20 years ago, I heard Clarence screaming. I ran. What I saw that night, I never want to see again. What did you see?

When it came upon us 20 years ago, I heard Clarence screaming. I ran. What I saw that night, I never want to see again. What did you see?

He was taking a leak in the woods. And I said, you shouldn't go that far, Clarence. And he said, nah, I'm fine. I'm a loud pisser, so I don't want to wake you up.

He was taking a leak in the woods. And I said, you shouldn't go that far, Clarence. And he said, nah, I'm fine. I'm a loud pisser, so I don't want to wake you up.

Well, he said he was a loud pisser. And so he liked to go far into the woods so he wouldn't be embarrassed about pissing so loud.

Well, he said he was a loud pisser. And so he liked to go far into the woods so he wouldn't be embarrassed about pissing so loud.

And he went so far from the camp, but I can still hear him pissin'. He really likes to attack it. He likes to attack the worm.

And he went so far from the camp, but I can still hear him pissin'. He really likes to attack it. He likes to attack the worm.

Some say he was snatched by the ocelot, and he's still pissing in fear. Pissing with no teeth.

Some say he was snatched by the ocelot, and he's still pissing in fear. Pissing with no teeth.

I think I definitely hear it. Oh my gosh, what day is it? Today is the anniversary of his disappearance. It's been one year? 20 years to the night.

I think I definitely hear it. Oh my gosh, what day is it? Today is the anniversary of his disappearance. It's been one year? 20 years to the night.

The 20th anniversary. Oh, wow.

The 20th anniversary. Oh, wow.

Death of Clarence. The Ocelot got him. He got more than he bargained for.

Death of Clarence. The Ocelot got him. He got more than he bargained for.

That's a lot. You know, after... Oh, no.

That's a lot. You know, after... Oh, no.

It smells like he shit his pants. I'm just going to go off into the woods to have a think about old Clarence. He bottles away.

It smells like he shit his pants. I'm just going to go off into the woods to have a think about old Clarence. He bottles away.

But I can do it on my own.

But I can do it on my own.

I hope he digged that hole big enough for his corpse to fall in. Oh, God, this hole is way too small.

I hope he digged that hole big enough for his corpse to fall in. Oh, God, this hole is way too small.

Charmin Stain, but...

Charmin Stain, but...

It's going to be a long one for old Beauregard T. Raccoon.

It's going to be a long one for old Beauregard T. Raccoon.

You all fall asleep. No watch, correct?

You all fall asleep. No watch, correct?

Okay. We have alarms, so...

Okay. We have alarms, so...

Beauregard comes back, stumbles back eventually. It's like another hour. Yeah. And he comes back, and he looks... He just bails a raccoon good luck. He doesn't say anything. He's trying to look proud. He's deflated. He's deflated. And he just kind of grunts at you, and then he has the remnants of his sack, and everything pulls off. And butthole.

Beauregard comes back, stumbles back eventually. It's like another hour. Yeah. And he comes back, and he looks... He just bails a raccoon good luck. He doesn't say anything. He's trying to look proud. He's deflated. He's deflated. And he just kind of grunts at you, and then he has the remnants of his sack, and everything pulls off. And butthole.

As Grumly, I need you to make a perception check. Oh boy. That advantage. Oh!

As Grumly, I need you to make a perception check. Oh boy. That advantage. Oh!

You see the moonlight shining down over the camp. You see that everyone is accounted for. And then off into the woods, you hear rustling. And you realize you feel yourself kind of shake a little bit. And you hear some rustling a good hundred feet.

You see the moonlight shining down over the camp. You see that everyone is accounted for. And then off into the woods, you hear rustling. And you realize you feel yourself kind of shake a little bit. And you hear some rustling a good hundred feet.

Like, the kind of ground beneath you shakes a little bit. Oh, fuck.

Like, the kind of ground beneath you shakes a little bit. Oh, fuck.

You're rumbling, and then you hear a loud snap.

You're rumbling, and then you hear a loud snap.

I think it's the Ocelot. Make a perception check.

I think it's the Ocelot. Make a perception check.

Yeah. I got a seven. Seven. You see nothing in the woods. I don't see anything. The ground shakes beneath you, and you hear another loud snap, and it sounds closer than before. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I don't see anything.

Yeah. I got a seven. Seven. You see nothing in the woods. I don't see anything. The ground shakes beneath you, and you hear another loud snap, and it sounds closer than before. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I don't see anything.

What rumbling?

What rumbling?

You feel the rumbling again on the ground. And make another perception check at advantage as you use your darkvision to peer through the woods. Much better.

You feel the rumbling again on the ground. And make another perception check at advantage as you use your darkvision to peer through the woods. Much better.

Dirty 20. You hear a snap, and you are staring, your eyes are now adjusted after waking up, it's crumbly, you can see nothing. But Booker, you see a head, and you see something move through the woods. And it's very, very subtle movement. And you look, and all you can see, you realize now why you hadn't seen anything.

Dirty 20. You hear a snap, and you are staring, your eyes are now adjusted after waking up, it's crumbly, you can see nothing. But Booker, you see a head, and you see something move through the woods. And it's very, very subtle movement. And you look, and all you can see, you realize now why you hadn't seen anything.

You had been watching and looking at the creature that's lurking not very far from your camp, but you had thought it was an enormous tree, as you see that this tree doesn't have bark, but fur and pallid skin, as the fur moves as if something is crawling beneath it. And you realize now, as your eyes, that what you are seeing far off, which might have been a Larkin person, is simply a knee.

You had been watching and looking at the creature that's lurking not very far from your camp, but you had thought it was an enormous tree, as you see that this tree doesn't have bark, but fur and pallid skin, as the fur moves as if something is crawling beneath it. And you realize now, as your eyes, that what you are seeing far off, which might have been a Larkin person, is simply a knee.

Oh! That's what you say, you believe that? Yeah, that's what he believes.

Oh! That's what you say, you believe that? Yeah, that's what he believes.

As you look up and up and up and up, and you see the moonlight catch on a glinting eye. And you see that there's an enormous creature hiding behind a tree, but the tree is maybe a quarter of the width of the bulk of this enormous hulking monster. And you see that it's looking at you almost with shining yellow eyes.

As you look up and up and up and up, and you see the moonlight catch on a glinting eye. And you see that there's an enormous creature hiding behind a tree, but the tree is maybe a quarter of the width of the bulk of this enormous hulking monster. And you see that it's looking at you almost with shining yellow eyes.

almost no nose to speak of, a horrid face of, you don't know what a simian is, but it didn't look too dissimilar from the hula girl that your father had. You see an enormously long, shaggy arm, and you see as its eyes are very clearly looking at you past this incredibly tall tree. over 20 feet tall, as it is looking at you with a broad grin of horrific sharp teeth, as it is just standing there.

almost no nose to speak of, a horrid face of, you don't know what a simian is, but it didn't look too dissimilar from the hula girl that your father had. You see an enormously long, shaggy arm, and you see as its eyes are very clearly looking at you past this incredibly tall tree. over 20 feet tall, as it is looking at you with a broad grin of horrific sharp teeth, as it is just standing there.

That's what you say.

That's what you say.

It's the Ocelot! As the cicadas start screaming, as you all hear rustling from all sides of the camp, as all of you who are sleeping immediately wake up from the shrieking cicadas, as Beauregard is screaming as the cicadas scream, as this cacophony suddenly erupts all around you. What do you all do as you're all awoken and you all hear this?

It's the Ocelot! As the cicadas start screaming, as you all hear rustling from all sides of the camp, as all of you who are sleeping immediately wake up from the shrieking cicadas, as Beauregard is screaming as the cicadas scream, as this cacophony suddenly erupts all around you. What do you all do as you're all awoken and you all hear this?

Make a very quick survival check to see if you can even get a sense of your bearings.

Make a very quick survival check to see if you can even get a sense of your bearings.

As you all hear the rustling, as suddenly around through the moonlight you see what looks like moving through the underbrush, the size of hounds in our world, these huge centipedes all with grasping, pallid, bony hands. As you hear the snapping of a branch, as suddenly you turn around, as you see, you hear the

As you all hear the rustling, as suddenly around through the moonlight you see what looks like moving through the underbrush, the size of hounds in our world, these huge centipedes all with grasping, pallid, bony hands. As you hear the snapping of a branch, as suddenly you turn around, as you see, you hear the

as a massive boulder is flying from the direction of the beast towards your camp as the ocelots and its horrific centipede minions attack. And that is where we'll end the session.

as a massive boulder is flying from the direction of the beast towards your camp as the ocelots and its horrific centipede minions attack. And that is where we'll end the session.

A bunch of people! He turns around immediately and runs.

A bunch of people! He turns around immediately and runs.

You hear, oh, Beauregard, your son, he looked just like you, was terribly killed.

You hear, oh, Beauregard, your son, he looked just like you, was terribly killed.

As he hears shouting and screaming, as you run up into the woods, make a stealth check. Make a stealth check, group stealth check. Probably. Oh, boy. That's not very good. Eight. I'd say a plus nine.

As he hears shouting and screaming, as you run up into the woods, make a stealth check. Make a stealth check, group stealth check. Probably. Oh, boy. That's not very good. Eight. I'd say a plus nine.

Yeah, I guess we need character sheets. I have that, I just didn't have a die.

Yeah, I guess we need character sheets. I have that, I just didn't have a die.

The beloved town cobbler. What kind of animal was he? He made the best pies. He was a squirrel. He was a squirrel. Yeah. He was a squirrel who just, he loved working shoes.

The beloved town cobbler. What kind of animal was he? He made the best pies. He was a squirrel. He was a squirrel. Yeah. He was a squirrel who just, he loved working shoes.

He looked very tired after... after booking a bunch of personal jobs for Director Ferret Weasel. And so... That Rush theme on it. Yeah, he is exhausted, and so he's very easily suggestible, just like they do with cults, where they get you very tired in order to be very suggestible. Sure. Jesus. As you bolt through the town, you hear shouting of... It doesn't take you long.

He looked very tired after... after booking a bunch of personal jobs for Director Ferret Weasel. And so... That Rush theme on it. Yeah, he is exhausted, and so he's very easily suggestible, just like they do with cults, where they get you very tired in order to be very suggestible. Sure. Jesus. As you bolt through the town, you hear shouting of... It doesn't take you long.

You know that the riverboat, the Hungry Catfish, is to the west side of the clearing, but you know that there's a huge swath of kind of the more marshy, swampy area to the north before you reach the river. that is fully forested and wooded. And it doesn't take you very long.

You know that the riverboat, the Hungry Catfish, is to the west side of the clearing, but you know that there's a huge swath of kind of the more marshy, swampy area to the north before you reach the river. that is fully forested and wooded. And it doesn't take you very long.

It just takes you probably a good 10, 15 minutes until you make your way into the treeline as the clearing of Muckbeg Creek disappears behind you and you hear the running of the river directly north of you.

It just takes you probably a good 10, 15 minutes until you make your way into the treeline as the clearing of Muckbeg Creek disappears behind you and you hear the running of the river directly north of you.