Ben Kissel

First off, there's the terrain.

This thing spans 4,300 square miles and is visually repetitive.

Marsh, sawgrass, swamp, repeat.

Alligator Alley particularly.

There's no gas stations.

Yeah.

Also, in the middle of the Everglades with the sawgrass and everything, these conditions make bodies really hard to spot from an aircraft, which means rescue teams need to use airboats and waiting crews.

And to quote the great Kimberly Sweet Brown Wilkins, ain't nobody got time for that.

No.

I mean, they pay them, but it's awful work.

It's awful work.

I think a lot of times they're actually volunteers.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, if there's a disaster or something like that.

So here's why your cooler thing is so unnecessary, Henry.

There's also the water itself.

The warm, fresh water of the Everglades provides an environment for bacteria to thrive, which helps accelerate the rate of decomposition.

There's a whole scientific explanation with this with lots of big words, but to summarize, if the crocs and gators don't eat your body, your body will eat itself, and the water will help you become human soup.

Cool.

And the bodies, they just don't decompose faster down there.