Bert Kreischer

Just so you know, if your kids walk in, ankle them and get them on the ground.

They're supposed to crawl before they walk.

If they're walking, they're not going to read.

So I get a dozen hot chocolate chip cookies.

I give one to Georgia.

Georgia Chrysler had to be... Oh, no, not too hot.

Not too hot.

She takes a bite of a warm chocolate chip cookie.

First taste ever.

She looks at me and she goes, does mom know about these?

We used to go to Ralph's.

I would always do events with the girls.

I would always take them places.

I wasn't like a sit-at-home dad.

So I remember taking them to Ralph's on the corner of La Brea and West 3rd.

And I would take them to Ralph's.

Now, at a certain hour in the night, usually around like 4 or 5 o'clock,

La Brea Bakery would deliver hot bread.

And I would get a loaf of hot bread, right when it got delivered, I would rip it open and I'd just shove butter, half a stick of butter in each in the grocery store.

I'd watch my girls fist warm bread out of the two loaves.