Big Jay Oakerson

But again, I liked her so much that I thought it was a brilliant business thing. I've talked about this where I'm like, smart move. This is called something in business, what she just did. What was she up to? She would go, all right, guys, we're playing this game. $5, $10, or $20. And it was like for $5. So she rolls it up like a Coke straw, whatever you give her.

and then she'll put it, like, in her pussy, basically. But she keeps her fingers, like, at the base. Do you know what I mean? And so it's, like, for $5, she puts it in a little bit. For $10, a little bit more. And you take it out with your mouth out of her pussy. You're making the right face. If you were wondering if you were making the right face, you are.

and then she'll put it, like, in her pussy, basically. But she keeps her fingers, like, at the base. Do you know what I mean? And so it's, like, for $5, she puts it in a little bit. For $10, a little bit more. And you take it out with your mouth out of her pussy. You're making the right face. If you were wondering if you were making the right face, you are.

He goes, okay. Well, here's the problem with any kind of story of a bachelor party. Your mindset there will tend to be different, I think. You know what I mean? When everyone's involved, you're hearing it later, you're like, ugh, money in a pussy and then money in my mouth? Like, all those things are wrong. And then my mouth near money near a hooker pussy? This is all bad. But...

He goes, okay. Well, here's the problem with any kind of story of a bachelor party. Your mindset there will tend to be different, I think. You know what I mean? When everyone's involved, you're hearing it later, you're like, ugh, money in a pussy and then money in my mouth? Like, all those things are wrong. And then my mouth near money near a hooker pussy? This is all bad. But...

Everybody did the $20 because it would be the closest. But the funny thing, I was always like, well, it's crazy because no matter how much you put in there, you could fit it in your mouth and you're only getting as close as her fingers. You're never actually getting closer to her pussy. Every guy did the $20 and I was like, genius.

Everybody did the $20 because it would be the closest. But the funny thing, I was always like, well, it's crazy because no matter how much you put in there, you could fit it in your mouth and you're only getting as close as her fingers. You're never actually getting closer to her pussy. Every guy did the $20 and I was like, genius.

I'm going to stay on the periphery.

I'm going to stay on the periphery.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, let me get a $5 smell test in there. What about three fives?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, let me get a $5 smell test in there. What about three fives?

That is the move. But you're right. For $20 and fives, you could go four times and get the same experience. Can you inhale the air through the bill? I assume you could if you wanted to.

That is the move. But you're right. For $20 and fives, you could go four times and get the same experience. Can you inhale the air through the bill? I assume you could if you wanted to.

Yeah. Siphon. Just take one deep hit. Yeah. If something comes through the straw, it's freaky. Oh, no.

Yeah. Siphon. Just take one deep hit. Yeah. If something comes through the straw, it's freaky. Oh, no.

Well, this girl on our drive home, when I was driving her home, she goes, we stopped at a 7-Eleven. I remember she goes in and she bought one of those single individual roses for herself. And I was like, what's that for? And she goes, it was just this sad, I always buy myself flowers at the end of a work night because I deserve it.

Well, this girl on our drive home, when I was driving her home, she goes, we stopped at a 7-Eleven. I remember she goes in and she bought one of those single individual roses for herself. And I was like, what's that for? And she goes, it was just this sad, I always buy myself flowers at the end of a work night because I deserve it.

And then I... And then I... Now, this must have been so creepy for her. I dropped her off at her house. Next day... Next day, she opened her house with flowers. And I go, you deserve someone else to give you flowers. And by the way, she could have been looking back more like, if my abusive boyfriend sees you here, I'm going to have to ship you down. She was like, thank you. Thanks so much.

And then I... And then I... Now, this must have been so creepy for her. I dropped her off at her house. Next day... Next day, she opened her house with flowers. And I go, you deserve someone else to give you flowers. And by the way, she could have been looking back more like, if my abusive boyfriend sees you here, I'm going to have to ship you down. She was like, thank you. Thanks so much.

And I'm like... And I just think you should know. She's like, cool, thanks. I was like, bye. She shoved him off her pussy. She's like, see you later. I go, so if I could just... You should have brought a $5 bill. Yeah, yeah. Instead of flowers, you should have been like... If I could just have one moment of your time with this $5 bill. So... Damn. Skip ahead, I started doing comedy.