Bill
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Now, Dax, why four years ago? I've always wanted to ask you, did you go out? There's a long version and a short version.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
It's just a sneaky sucker, huh? So when I relapsed after 17 years... I was doing my friend Sam Tripoli's show at the main room. And his show is sponsored by a weed company. And I have 17 years of sobriety.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I did 13 and then 17. For me, it's always, I just stopped going to meetings and stopped calling my sponsor. And this is years. Because you think you can do it. I have...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
time 15 16 years don't even think about this stuff yeah so i'm sitting there and this guy that owns this weed company goes hey you know we have a package when people do the show and i go i'm sober he's like oh cool but i have a cbd thing and i go what's a cbd thing i don't know what it is What do you stand for? And he goes, this oil has 1% THC in it. Just to activate the CBD. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
But if you just do the dosage, you're not going to feel it. So I drank the whole thing. Yes, of course. And I got buzzed. So I went back next week because my stomach hurt because you're not supposed to drink the oil. That's all oil. So my stomach really was in pain. So I go, hey, do you have one that's like 50%? It started getting better. And then I started getting 99% THC, 1% CBD.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
And obviously I had relapsed and it was just that easy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I think when I drank that whole bottle for that 1%, I knew. There's something really strange about this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
The problem is the eight years of real sobriety you had, that never goes away. So that's in your mind and your heart.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
There are moments in pure sobriety that it's just the most joyous I've ever been.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
The freedom and also your belief that everything's going to work out. You're not looking into the future and going, what if this happens and this happens? You're just really in the present moment. Just like, I'm here. I'm free and I have peace. Those occasions are rare, but I never had them throughout my whole life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Especially growing up, going through all the experiences, I was never taught these tools and this way of living. There was no internet. I'm just in this violent house of chaos surviving.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
My cousin and close buddy of ours heard about Millennium Forest opening. Everybody's going to talk about Millennium Forest.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
Yeah, that's what they were talking about. So we were like, all right, we got to go out there. And we were planning the trip. It opened in spring. We're like, all right, we'll go in the summer. It's a 10-hour drive. None of us had a car big enough that could fit the three of us, our camping gear, everything we needed. So we borrowed my aunt's minivan.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
It was a Dodge Caravan, had the sliding doors on both sides. I do all the driving. We find our campsite. We get there. We set up. A couple pulled up and they started setting up. They had Canadian license plates. We're like, oh, these guys seem cool. So we start talking to them. They're there for the same reason as us. So we decide, all right, why don't we just all go together?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
Hang out, drinking, having a good time the night before. My buddy Kenny, who was with us, he's an electrician and there was a light right above our campsite. And he's like, oh, let me just go in there and I'll disconnect it so it's not too bright here. Sure. Normal. We make it through the night. Next day, we all decide, all right, we're going to drive together. It was a little overwhelming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
We get there. There's a lot of people. We walk in. You know how they have those photographers that snap everybody's pictures, try to sell you little souvenirs. The five of us, we get a group picture. We go around the park, ride a bunch of different roller coasters. And then we're like, all right, we're going to end the day on Millennium Force. We're waiting about a half hour or so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
As we're boarding it, they have somebody on like a bullhorn like, all right, everybody ready to ride the biggest roller coaster in the world? Everybody's like, yeah, the fastest roller coaster in the world. Yeah, the tallest roller coaster. And then they're like, well, then you have to go to Japan because one just opened yesterday. That's two feet bigger, three miles an hour faster.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
So everybody lets out this sigh, and then they send us right off.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
Basically. So it was fun. It was a great time. We leave, and we're driving back to the campsite. How far away is the campsite from Cedar Point? Ten minutes, if that. The caravan we were driving with the doors on both sides, they lock open, and it's hot. So we're like, oh, jeeps drive around with doors off all the time. Let's just lock these doors open and we'll drive.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
We hit a bunch of traffic and then I see a car wash and I'm like, oh, it's my aunt's car. Let's go get it washed before we hit the road tomorrow. And I pulled down the center turning lane of the road and a little Chevy Beretta turns right into us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
The passenger door open. My cousin sitting right next to that door. We ripped like the whole front end off his car. And the door goes flying off my aunt's van. Oh, boy. We come to a stop. The door sliding on the road behind us. Oh, boy. Cops show up. They know the other car's at fault because they turned into the turning lane without anything.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
But they're like, we have a bunch of witnesses saying you were driving with your doors open. They write me a ticket. And I asked them, I'm like, can I at least get the car back to the campsite and try to get the door back on on our own? So they're like, yeah. So we throw the door in our new friend's Ford Explorer, go back to the campsite.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
After an hour or two of wrestling, we get the door back on the van. It's all bent. The gaps in the door are huge. We duct tape the gaps on the door. We're like, all right, well, tomorrow we're going to drive 10 hours with it like this. Oh, my God. And that night it rained really hard. The campsite was right on Lake Erie. All the sites but ours flooded out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
So our new friends who were right on the lake had an air mattress was literally floating. Oh, my goodness. The next day, you know, we all help each other pack up, dry out, and we head home.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
We called her from the site. Well, my cousin did since it was his mom. She took it really well. And then when she saw the van, it was a little harder. But in the long run, she was just happy we were all okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
The Canadians, their names are Curtis and Kelly. We never heard from them again after that. 25 years later, we still talk about them. The little guy in the front is my cousin, and the guy on the right is basically my Iron Weekly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
Yeah, you have to go to Japan for that, I guess. This year, they're opening up another one that's supposed to be the biggest in the world.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cedar Point
So we're trying to plan a new trip.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
How old are you, Bill? Come on in.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
You can't. That's what I said, you know?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
Worthy is groundbreaking.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
This book is going to change lives.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
It's so in you. I'm not even a broker anymore. There's so much in me. Oh, my gosh. I bet you would buy a good one. I'd make a lot of money. That's amazing.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I also just want to point out, this is like the fifth time you've said you quit job and then we see you and you're drinking it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Yes. Although it turned out to be a great location for the entire We Like Sports video.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Oh, my God. If it's from one of the ones I said, I'm about to ream you, Seth. Say the line again.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Yeah, because we will do an app on each one, right? Yes.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
It was just way more relaxed. Right, way more pleasant. Much more pleasant. I almost say way more fun, not that SNL's not fun, but it was like, part of it was this dream of like, when we were roommates in LA before we got SNL, we would say things like, wouldn't it be incredible to make an album, you know? And then it actually was happening.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
So there was like a whole level of wish fulfillment for us. We were acting like little kids living in this stupid, dumb mansion. And every day you wake up whenever you feel like some people later than others looking at me, looking at myself. And you go in and you're like, what are we going to do? Whatever we feel like.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
And our label and our manager, Steve Barnett, procured tons of real beats from real rap producers for us. And we'd just sit there and flip through the beats and star the ones we liked and be like, ooh, we should do something to that one. That's awesome. And it was just a fucking dream. I feel like at any given time,
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I would just wander in there and listen to beats and write down ideas and nothing else. There was no other commitment. I think maybe the job is wearing off.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Right. There were moments all the time where we'd go, I think I'm done thinking about that and I'm sleepy and I'm going to stop. The difference between that and how it is at SNL is the whole difference.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Like for us, we kind of like walk around it for a while. I remember too. It was Jermaine. We played them jizz in my pants and he was like, there's no like dancing around the joke. You just really say it and then just say it a lot. And we were like, yeah, that's the difference, I guess, between our songs. So funny. But it was, he said it lovingly. Like we were laughing about it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
It looked like noodle soup, but it was just arms.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
This is a seg into noodles in the pot, isn't it, Seth?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Who else was in the pictures? John C. Reilly, Maya, PTA.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
You weren't relegated. You stopped making beats. Yeah, we would happily have accepted. Well, yeah, but we also, we upgraded. We upgraded a little bit. I love your beats and I stand on it. Thank you.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
No matter what you say, but that being said, what did you say? Yeah, I might be wrong. I might be wrong.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Who said we're whack? You said we're whack. And it was an amazing moment. Do you remember, Keev, that we started with that song because Jack insisted because he was like, no, don't play those songs that they all know. Yes. My favorite one is who said we're whack. That's what we're doing. And we were like, all right. And then it was so fun.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I do believe that's the case. I think so. Possibly the first. Yeah.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I was about to say, I think I speak for all three of us when I say it's one of our personal favorite songs that we ever got to make.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
And I've met people that knew him from Chicago. They're like, oh, so you work with Pat now? And I'm like, I don't know who the fuck you talking about, dude. Liz calls him that, too. Wow.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Yes. We definitely were like giggling and hiding in corners and stuff and being like, we shouldn't be here.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
You mean because they giggled and hid the whole time and kept saying, let's look at the zoo.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Yeah, same rig we've always had. Same as in our office. Exactly. Same as we have now at our office in L.A.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Where they have the big party, all the branches come together for the big party at the house.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Yes. It was definitely a lot bigger than our apartments in New York, though. Yes, certainly it was.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I would argue that renting that house was like the perfect encapsulation of our joke, which was like sarcastically bawling out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it was a tacky, massive McMansion that was the biggest place any of us had ever stayed by far with huge property. Like everyone who came through that we were friends with was like, Jesus Christ. Christ, this is crazy.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
And we were like, I know, I know. Come to the shitty room where we're making the song. Like it was it was hilarious and fun to us. We were definitely like, let's do a crazy, dumb thing, because when are we ever going to get to do this again?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Haven't seen it. What? Yeah. I haven't either. Haven't seen it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
You know what I've seen? What? I saw Dune 2. Dune 2? I saw Dune 2. You saw Dune 2? You like Dune 2?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I checked out Dune 2. I like it. I like it. Dune 2 came out a while back. Yeah, that's why I've seen it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
Oh, nice. Do you think when she walks down the street now, people go, hey, Night Bitch.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
That's a good table. Speaking to three showbiz couple members right now.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
I see. I thought you were going to say we don't count because in your eyes we're not real human beings. Kind of. We're just fucking dollar signs floating in a zoo. This job is going to crash and it's going to get so mellow on this cast. Oh, yeah. When my job crash hits. Oh, you're on job. Oh, sorry. Was it not clear that I'm fully on job right now?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 1
You're from Mars, and you're from Venus. I know that book, too. I love you. I love you so much. No one on Earth has ever said those sentences.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
So I make like $4,400 a month, and the house payment is $2,360. Yeah, dude. You can't breathe, bro.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
I'm an electrician apprentice, and hopefully next month I'll be able to take my journeyman's exam, so I would get a significant pay bump.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
No, but the main thing for keeping it at the moment is that there's not any equity in it, and so we'll probably end up having to pay to even sell the house.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
uh just the main is just because of the money aspect um i mean i don't really i'd call a realtor and get an actual real number in your head what's making you think that that well because you guys just bought it a year like six months ago is that what you're saying yeah it's basically in i feel like an updated monthly report on it and you'll have to pay capital gains because it's been under two years as well yeah there'll be no gain
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
You know, I'm not that great. The past few months have been pretty bad. You have little ones involved? We have a 19-month-old baby. Oh, man. And we're just trying to...
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
navigate co-parenting at this point but um yeah i don't know she just decided after three years that she was done and called it quits i'm sorry man i'm sorry me too it kind of came out of nowhere i really did not see it coming and her parents and my parents and really nobody about coming and i think she's going through her own issues
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
No, I mean, technically we still, we filed the court documents and all that stuff. We just have to go to a final hearing. She was signing the house over to me.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
Um, so my soon to be ex-wife and I bought a house, um, a year ago, last February. And then this last October, she decided that she wanted a divorce. Um, she already moved out and I decided to try and keep the house by myself. Um, after we purchased the house, she racked up like $10,000 in credit card debt. And I've been working really hard to get this down, but it seems like after all the bills,
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
that i pay every month i have like maybe an extra hundred dollars i can throw at it and it just seems like at this rate it's going to take forever to pay these credit cards off and i don't know if it's smart to keep or sell the house at this point were the credit cards in your name that she racked up after the divorce they were yes they were and was this after the divorce no it was there it was we were still still legally married okay at that point yeah can you afford to keep this place
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
What's going on? Yes, ma'am. So I inherited a large amount of money from my dad. How much? A million plus. And it's in the sale of his house is where it initially comes from. There's actually, in addition to that inheritance, that's in IRAs and things of that nature. It's like 2.5 locked up in that.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Yes, ma'am. So my question is, I would like to give a little bit of this money, not a lot, just a little bit to our four children right now. My dad didn't leave him anything. I was the only child, and so he pretty much just left everything to me. But I would like to gift them some. And the dilemma I'm having is that I have four kids and four different financial –
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
My oldest one is married with three kids, a wife that works, has a house. He's financially okay. My second son is married, has a wife, two children with one on the way. Could use a financial bump, if you will, owns a house. My daughter, who's also older, she owns a house but is living with her boyfriend, who they own the house together. I know that's a real Dave Ramsey no-no, but anyway.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
And so she's financially well. She's graduated nursing school, and she's got a good head on her shoulders financially. She's the saver. And then I have a daughter who is currently in college and still lives at home who needs to get hit heavily in the head with the Dave Ramsey financial piece. Seriously.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
So you can see I'm kind of all over the map with if I give them some money, how do I gift it to them? I don't want one. I don't want to enable one. I don't want another one to just blow it. I don't want to, you know, potentially give them money and put it on the house.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Same dollar amount across the board. It's not huge. I'm just thinking like, you know, maybe just $10,000, just like $10,000, just something just to kind of help them ease their financial life right now.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Bill? Yes, sir. Where are you at? I personally think they wait until something happens and we pass on to the other side and they get the whole shebang that's in our truck.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Well, my thing is, so we're going to be paying off our house and a few other things that we have. I just don't want to – I would rather – that money continued to grow because now we would be financially set. And then in hopes, if the market is the way it should be, we would have multi-millions in there for them whenever we die.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Is it truly equal to all four because there's four different situations?
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
It's not what I want to do, but it's not always what I want to do.