Bill Burr

Anyway, I know this sounds like bullshit, but I promise you it's always worked for me.

All right, well, there you go, people.

My wife, my wife, my lovely wife, my buddy, she sent me this thing of this person rapping and it was really bad.

And we were laughing about it and singing it to each other and then we couldn't get it out of our fucking heads and it became a thing.

between both of us for like 36 hours, where someone would start to sing it, and she'd be like, Bill, I'm like, sorry.

Or like, Nia, I know, I can't get it.

Next time, we will hold hands and we will sing that song together.

Thank you for that.

See, there's people out there that they're trying to help you out.

All right, puppet work.

Hey Billy, twinkle woes.

What do you think your act would be like if you had a puppet?

Oh, I actually thought about doing it.

Would it be lady, would it be a lady or would it be someone who said inflammatory things on your behalf?

No, I would turn it around where, you know, the guy doing the voice always plays the dummy and the puppet's always smarter.

I would be berating the puppet.

Hey, Woody, if you knew what was best for you, you'd shut the fuck up or you're never gonna talk again if you know what I mean.

You know, maybe you should stop watching The Twilight Zone and get your fucking ego in check before I send you through a wood chipper.

All right, now stop looking at me with that stupid look on your face and entertain these fucking cunts.

That's what I would do.