Bill Burr
π€ SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
But I would do it smiling, right?
Hey, Woody, why don't you shut the fuck up or you know, say no, fuck it.
No, I don't need to do that because I'm talking, right?
See, I'm like, I'm too fucked up to be able to do it.
You know what I would have?
I would have a puppet.
It would be a woman and she would just be mad at me.
And she wouldn't be looking at me the entire time.
She'd just be looking the other way, shaking her head.
And I would just explain to the crowd what I felt I did wrong, which would get her to start to look at me.
But then when I started to say what she did wrong, she would be rolling her eyes and shaking her fucking head.
You know, rolling over.
You know what my wife hasn't done in a long time because I've learned how to not be an asshole?
Is back in my asshole years, way back in November.
When I would piss my wife off in the car.
If it's a little thing, she'd give me shit back.
But if I really bothered her.
She would do this thing where she would just cross her arms and she would look out the window.
And then I was just like, well, there you go, Bill.
Perfectly good day.