Bill Burr

It'd be nice if they hooked me up with a free one and I could talk to my listeners about how awesome they were. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Give me the fucking drums. Um... But, you know, playing on a real kid, that's the real deal. You know, I love those electronic kids. But at the end of the day, they make you sound fucking amazing. You're like, am I the next John Bonham? I think I am.

And then you get behind a real kid. You're like, oh, wait a minute. I suck. All right. Donut shop while in San Jose. Hey, Bill, I know you've been in San Jose. I know you'll be here coming up, and I think I know of a spot that's totally your style. It's called Stan's Donuts. I know you're cutting the carbs and shit, but goddamn, is it worth the extra elliptical time?

And then you get behind a real kid. You're like, oh, wait a minute. I suck. All right. Donut shop while in San Jose. Hey, Bill, I know you've been in San Jose. I know you'll be here coming up, and I think I know of a spot that's totally your style. It's called Stan's Donuts. I know you're cutting the carbs and shit, but goddamn, is it worth the extra elliptical time?

And then you get behind a real kid. You're like, oh, wait a minute. I suck. All right. Donut shop while in San Jose. Hey, Bill, I know you've been in San Jose. I know you'll be here coming up, and I think I know of a spot that's totally your style. It's called Stan's Donuts. I know you're cutting the carbs and shit, but goddamn, is it worth the extra elliptical time?

Just an old school donut shop that's been around for decades and hasn't changed a bit. None of that crazy soy-based, gluten-free, pomegranate fritter with cruelty-free bacon bullshit. Just the classics. Chocolate, maybe an old-fashioned or jelly-filled. You fucking asshole. I'm trying to lose weight. Don't tell me about this place. But holy shit.

Just an old school donut shop that's been around for decades and hasn't changed a bit. None of that crazy soy-based, gluten-free, pomegranate fritter with cruelty-free bacon bullshit. Just the classics. Chocolate, maybe an old-fashioned or jelly-filled. You fucking asshole. I'm trying to lose weight. Don't tell me about this place. But holy shit.

Just an old school donut shop that's been around for decades and hasn't changed a bit. None of that crazy soy-based, gluten-free, pomegranate fritter with cruelty-free bacon bullshit. Just the classics. Chocolate, maybe an old-fashioned or jelly-filled. You fucking asshole. I'm trying to lose weight. Don't tell me about this place. But holy shit.

The only one you need from Stan's is the plain glazed donut. I'm going to be there with Dean Del Rey. Oh, he's off sugar, so he won't do it. They will give you a glazed donut so fresh it might burn your mouth if you aren't careful. And you can see them pulling them out of their fryer just behind the counter. Can't beat it, dude.

The only one you need from Stan's is the plain glazed donut. I'm going to be there with Dean Del Rey. Oh, he's off sugar, so he won't do it. They will give you a glazed donut so fresh it might burn your mouth if you aren't careful. And you can see them pulling them out of their fryer just behind the counter. Can't beat it, dude.

The only one you need from Stan's is the plain glazed donut. I'm going to be there with Dean Del Rey. Oh, he's off sugar, so he won't do it. They will give you a glazed donut so fresh it might burn your mouth if you aren't careful. And you can see them pulling them out of their fryer just behind the counter. Can't beat it, dude.

My mom used to take me here before school when I was really little, and I came back for the first time in like 15 years the other day, and it's even better than I remembered. Well, you got a little child sense memory going on there. Oh, my God, dude, why are you doing this to me? Immediately thought of you and that you'd like the old school feel of the place.

My mom used to take me here before school when I was really little, and I came back for the first time in like 15 years the other day, and it's even better than I remembered. Well, you got a little child sense memory going on there. Oh, my God, dude, why are you doing this to me? Immediately thought of you and that you'd like the old school feel of the place.

My mom used to take me here before school when I was really little, and I came back for the first time in like 15 years the other day, and it's even better than I remembered. Well, you got a little child sense memory going on there. Oh, my God, dude, why are you doing this to me? Immediately thought of you and that you'd like the old school feel of the place.

It's like five minutes from the San Jose improv. Make it happen. Do it for Stan. Oh, God. Well, I can tell you that's definitely happening. Well, you know what? I'm going to do I'm going to do a tour of San Jose, one of my city tours. We're definitely I'm going to fucking go there. I'm going to end there eating a fucking donut. Maybe I'll start there, just hating myself. All right. Redskins.

It's like five minutes from the San Jose improv. Make it happen. Do it for Stan. Oh, God. Well, I can tell you that's definitely happening. Well, you know what? I'm going to do I'm going to do a tour of San Jose, one of my city tours. We're definitely I'm going to fucking go there. I'm going to end there eating a fucking donut. Maybe I'll start there, just hating myself. All right. Redskins.

It's like five minutes from the San Jose improv. Make it happen. Do it for Stan. Oh, God. Well, I can tell you that's definitely happening. Well, you know what? I'm going to do I'm going to do a tour of San Jose, one of my city tours. We're definitely I'm going to fucking go there. I'm going to end there eating a fucking donut. Maybe I'll start there, just hating myself. All right. Redskins.

Redskins. I'm sitting here listening to your podcast on the past Monday, and I'm thinking about the Redskins. Keep the name. Change the mascot. Change the mascot to a potato. That's fucking hilarious, but that's not intimidating. You know what I mean? The Redskins. Of course, their nickname would be the Hash Browns. But you know what? You know hash browns are delicious. That's fucking hilarious.

Redskins. I'm sitting here listening to your podcast on the past Monday, and I'm thinking about the Redskins. Keep the name. Change the mascot. Change the mascot to a potato. That's fucking hilarious, but that's not intimidating. You know what I mean? The Redskins. Of course, their nickname would be the Hash Browns. But you know what? You know hash browns are delicious. That's fucking hilarious.

Redskins. I'm sitting here listening to your podcast on the past Monday, and I'm thinking about the Redskins. Keep the name. Change the mascot. Change the mascot to a potato. That's fucking hilarious, but that's not intimidating. You know what I mean? The Redskins. Of course, their nickname would be the Hash Browns. But you know what? You know hash browns are delicious. That's fucking hilarious.

You know something? That's actually fucking brilliant. So you still call them the Redskins. You change the mascot to a fucking potato. You know something? That's one of the most brilliant fucking ideas I think that's ever been fucking sent in. God knows I've never said anything better than that. That's fucking brilliant. Change it to a fucking potato.