Bill Eddy

influences your personality development as much as your family.

influences your personality development as much as your family.

influences your personality development as much as your family.

I don't agree with that because she's not a therapist and looked at the mental health. She looked at big surveys, college students especially. But I think that's more significant than we realize and more significant than I used to think. And so part of what you're saying is today's culture is reinforcing not taking responsibility Whereas in the past, you had to solve problems yourself.

I don't agree with that because she's not a therapist and looked at the mental health. She looked at big surveys, college students especially. But I think that's more significant than we realize and more significant than I used to think. And so part of what you're saying is today's culture is reinforcing not taking responsibility Whereas in the past, you had to solve problems yourself.

I don't agree with that because she's not a therapist and looked at the mental health. She looked at big surveys, college students especially. But I think that's more significant than we realize and more significant than I used to think. And so part of what you're saying is today's culture is reinforcing not taking responsibility Whereas in the past, you had to solve problems yourself.

Yeah. Several things, and I can be brief with each of them. First, there's what I call the four forget-about-its. It's forget about trying to give the person insight into how they're behaving. That blows up the person. You know, just like I said, don't blame them for you ending the relationship. So just forget about giving them insight. Instead, talk about what we can do now. Talk about options.

Yeah. Several things, and I can be brief with each of them. First, there's what I call the four forget-about-its. It's forget about trying to give the person insight into how they're behaving. That blows up the person. You know, just like I said, don't blame them for you ending the relationship. So just forget about giving them insight. Instead, talk about what we can do now. Talk about options.

Yeah. Several things, and I can be brief with each of them. First, there's what I call the four forget-about-its. It's forget about trying to give the person insight into how they're behaving. That blows up the person. You know, just like I said, don't blame them for you ending the relationship. So just forget about giving them insight. Instead, talk about what we can do now. Talk about options.

Talk about Don't go inward with them, go outward with them. So when you go inward, you escalate their defensiveness. So don't try to give them insight into themselves. And a lot of people say, how can I make him see that what he's doing is so wrong? Or how can I make her understand that she's creating the problem we're trying to solve? Just forget about that.

Talk about Don't go inward with them, go outward with them. So when you go inward, you escalate their defensiveness. So don't try to give them insight into themselves. And a lot of people say, how can I make him see that what he's doing is so wrong? Or how can I make her understand that she's creating the problem we're trying to solve? Just forget about that.

Talk about Don't go inward with them, go outward with them. So when you go inward, you escalate their defensiveness. So don't try to give them insight into themselves. And a lot of people say, how can I make him see that what he's doing is so wrong? Or how can I make her understand that she's creating the problem we're trying to solve? Just forget about that.

Talk about, okay, here's what our options are. Let's talk about what to do. Second is don't emphasize the past. And people argue forever with high conflict people about the past, and you never resolve the past with a high conflict person. And I'll tell you in a minute why that may be. Focus on what to do now and the future. Future focus, not past focus.

Talk about, okay, here's what our options are. Let's talk about what to do. Second is don't emphasize the past. And people argue forever with high conflict people about the past, and you never resolve the past with a high conflict person. And I'll tell you in a minute why that may be. Focus on what to do now and the future. Future focus, not past focus.

Talk about, okay, here's what our options are. Let's talk about what to do. Second is don't emphasize the past. And people argue forever with high conflict people about the past, and you never resolve the past with a high conflict person. And I'll tell you in a minute why that may be. Focus on what to do now and the future. Future focus, not past focus.

Maybe you need some information to understand a problem, but then emphasize the future. The third is don't focus on emotions. And especially don't yell at them, don't burst into tears, don't tell them how frustrating they are, all of that. And this is what I'm going to tell you now is a theory that I hope someone figures out.

Maybe you need some information to understand a problem, but then emphasize the future. The third is don't focus on emotions. And especially don't yell at them, don't burst into tears, don't tell them how frustrating they are, all of that. And this is what I'm going to tell you now is a theory that I hope someone figures out.

Maybe you need some information to understand a problem, but then emphasize the future. The third is don't focus on emotions. And especially don't yell at them, don't burst into tears, don't tell them how frustrating they are, all of that. And this is what I'm going to tell you now is a theory that I hope someone figures out.

And that is people with personality disorders and high conflict personalities don't seem to go through the five stages of the grieving and healing process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, sadness, and acceptance. They seem to get stuck at denial and anger. So what happens is they don't resolve things. They don't, quotes, get over things. They don't get over the divorce.

And that is people with personality disorders and high conflict personalities don't seem to go through the five stages of the grieving and healing process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, sadness, and acceptance. They seem to get stuck at denial and anger. So what happens is they don't resolve things. They don't, quotes, get over things. They don't get over the divorce.