Bill Nighy

eat at home, I always eat outside.

So there's only ever one teacup, one saucer, and one spoon.

That's the only washing up that ever takes place in my apartment.

So which is the way we like it, or not we, that's the royal we.

Other than that, you know, you're getting a picture is emerging.

I'm pretty pedantic about the placement of stuff.

and I don't want a lot of it about.

On the plane, when they don't come and take your tray away, I get up and take my tray as soon as I finish the food.

I don't want anything around once it's finished.

I want it gone.

And I'm not alone in this.

I know there are other people like me.

Maybe one day we'll meet and we might become friends and we might do things together and we could take trips and certainly we could eat together calmly and successfully without mess.

And we could form an association.

We might have a tie made with an insignia on it.

We could form a club, be a very exclusive club, and it would be intensely private and very, very, very tidy.

Talking of ties...

It makes me think of something that's been on all our minds here at Ill-Advised for some time, which is something I get quite excited about, which is what they call merch.

And I'm keen to start making decisions about merch.

But it's a tricky business and it must be approached with care and with gravitas, obviously.