Bob Arnold
speaker
679 appearances
4 recordings
1 series
first heard Oct 2021
last heard Oct 2023
Bob Arnold’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And they need to hear that I think that they're smart enough.
And they need to hear that I trust that any of the feedback I give them is just to make them better, not that I don't think that they can succeed.
Yeah.
One of the books that I didn't talk about, which is what Shemu the Whale, I think it's called What Shemu Taught Me About Marriage.
Uh, it was the most popular New York Times love, uh, their style section on love article ever.
And it's basically that you get the behaviors that you encourage.
And if you're not getting the behavior, it doesn't make any sense to blame the person you're not getting the behavior from.
You need to be different.
I think we're really good at that as palliative care doctors when we're dealing with families.
We're way worse than doing it when we're dealing with colleagues or learners.
We're way more willing to blame them as the as the problem.
basically it's this story about this woman who couldn't get her husband to put his socks in the laundry bin.
And so she went to, I guess, San Diego, whatever the wherever they trained Shamu the whale, and she watched how they trained whales, which are just large, like large animals, and then went back and used the same techniques.
to train her husband.
some fish.
It's that she rewarded the behaviors she wanted rather than the behaviors that annoyed her.
Because attention is you know, this is all child care, right?
Attention is reinforcing, even if it's negative attention.
here.
Okay, I'm not gonna go there.
Showing 241–260 of 679 · page 13 of 34
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