Booker

I gotta be honest. I didn't think it was gonna work. I just got this card and just realized I was a member the other day. That's pretty crazy.

I gotta be honest. I didn't think it was gonna work. I just got this card and just realized I was a member the other day. That's pretty crazy.

Well, it doesn't work at other establishments. We got to remember we had this thing and, you know, we'll see how it goes. Oh, my God. Keep it secret. Just let me know. Just remind me. All right. I might forget. All right. Thanks for the Danish. I appreciate it. This is fantastic. I eat it like the fantastic Mr. Fox. That's just canonically how we all eat. That's right.

Well, it doesn't work at other establishments. We got to remember we had this thing and, you know, we'll see how it goes. Oh, my God. Keep it secret. Just let me know. Just remind me. All right. I might forget. All right. Thanks for the Danish. I appreciate it. This is fantastic. I eat it like the fantastic Mr. Fox. That's just canonically how we all eat. That's right.

Well, you really bungled that one. Now what? Are we just going to leave your dad back there? I mean, the best we can do is sit here and wait and see if he finds us. If we go back out into the clearing, they're going to know we're not dead.

Well, you really bungled that one. Now what? Are we just going to leave your dad back there? I mean, the best we can do is sit here and wait and see if he finds us. If we go back out into the clearing, they're going to know we're not dead.

That's a little chilly. We try to get his attention, but I don't want to step back into the clearing.

That's a little chilly. We try to get his attention, but I don't want to step back into the clearing.

Probably. He's beloved. I've known him since I was a wee little lad. He makes the best cobblers, because he cobbles. That's what he does. He's the cobbler.

Probably. He's beloved. I've known him since I was a wee little lad. He makes the best cobblers, because he cobbles. That's what he does. He's the cobbler.

Common misconception.

Common misconception.

Yes, he's a cobbler and makes cobbler. That's what it says on the tin. He's beloved. Oh, that's what a cobbler does. That man would never lie to anyone.

Yes, he's a cobbler and makes cobbler. That's what it says on the tin. He's beloved. Oh, that's what a cobbler does. That man would never lie to anyone.

That's a question I don't think we want to dive into. That's what a man does in the privacy of his own home. Yeah, I don't want to know anything about that.

That's a question I don't think we want to dive into. That's what a man does in the privacy of his own home. Yeah, I don't want to know anything about that.

The shoes? Yeah. I don't know, you tell me. Is that normal?

The shoes? Yeah. I don't know, you tell me. Is that normal?

That's very funny.

That's very funny.

So now, what do we do? We try to flag my old man down, or we just, we move on, and he's toast. He's gonna be fish food.

So now, what do we do? We try to flag my old man down, or we just, we move on, and he's toast. He's gonna be fish food.

This is the problem.

This is the problem.

I never wanted this for any of us.

I never wanted this for any of us.

No, no, let's go with the bird call thing. That's absolutely a thing. We absolutely have a secret bird call that we've known for the last... Oh, really? Yeah, she is, absolutely. I don't know how you knew that. Well done, well done.

No, no, let's go with the bird call thing. That's absolutely a thing. We absolutely have a secret bird call that we've known for the last... Oh, really? Yeah, she is, absolutely. I don't know how you knew that. Well done, well done.

All right, I'm gonna scamper back to the edge of the clearing and see if I can keep an eye out for my father and then use the bird call that we only know, the two of us, together.

All right, I'm gonna scamper back to the edge of the clearing and see if I can keep an eye out for my father and then use the bird call that we only know, the two of us, together.

That literally can't happen. There's literally only two people on the planet that know this bird call, and it's me and my father.

That literally can't happen. There's literally only two people on the planet that know this bird call, and it's me and my father.

This is a made-up bird call. Nobody's ever heard this bird before.

This is a made-up bird call. Nobody's ever heard this bird before.

I don't know how that'll help, but... I thought it was too cold.

I don't know how that'll help, but... I thought it was too cold.

In my giblets. Go, Booker, go! All right, I'm going. I'm going to sneak back to the edge of the clearing and see if I can find my father frantically looking for where we told him to meet us.

In my giblets. Go, Booker, go! All right, I'm going. I'm going to sneak back to the edge of the clearing and see if I can find my father frantically looking for where we told him to meet us.

The moment that I hear this happening, I will hunker down and prepare to do the bird call that my father and I have practiced many, many times. And he knows this bird call to mean that there is danger and that he should find the source of the call and stop what he's doing, no matter what he's doing, to make an excuse to escape and find the source of the call. Okay.

The moment that I hear this happening, I will hunker down and prepare to do the bird call that my father and I have practiced many, many times. And he knows this bird call to mean that there is danger and that he should find the source of the call and stop what he's doing, no matter what he's doing, to make an excuse to escape and find the source of the call. Okay.

We've rehearsed this many, many times.

We've rehearsed this many, many times.

That's a great question. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. Oh, the secret bird call.

That's a great question. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. Oh, the secret bird call.

He would know it's a secret bird call. And it means stop what you're doing.

He would know it's a secret bird call. And it means stop what you're doing.

Make an excuse. Find the source of the call. He would know.

Make an excuse. Find the source of the call. He would know.

I thought it was just gonna be, Dad! Hey, Dad! Actually, the plus seven, I got a 22.

I thought it was just gonna be, Dad! Hey, Dad! Actually, the plus seven, I got a 22.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

I pity the fool.

I pity the fool.

You were able to get away?

You were able to get away?

Well, come on, we gotta get back to the rest of the gang. Are you sure you need all that? Are you gonna be able to carry that? Yeah, I mean, it's got my lava lamp. We might be traveling through the woods. Like, it's kind of dangerous. It's got my stack of magazines. Okay, that doesn't seem really like a need. It's more of a want. It's got a bunch of blue box. That's the good stuff.

Well, come on, we gotta get back to the rest of the gang. Are you sure you need all that? Are you gonna be able to carry that? Yeah, I mean, it's got my lava lamp. We might be traveling through the woods. Like, it's kind of dangerous. It's got my stack of magazines. Okay, that doesn't seem really like a need. It's more of a want. It's got a bunch of blue box. That's the good stuff.

Well, I mean, food is reasonable to bring. Do you know the difference between needs and wants? Like, we should only bring the things we need. I... Booker, what did I teach you? A bird call or two.

Well, I mean, food is reasonable to bring. Do you know the difference between needs and wants? Like, we should only bring the things we need. I... Booker, what did I teach you? A bird call or two.

Okay. All right, Dad.

Okay. All right, Dad.

Keep your voice down. And it worked out for me, okay. Dad, keep your voice down. Come on. All right. Come on. Let's get back to wrestling again. Just keep your voice down.

Keep your voice down. And it worked out for me, okay. Dad, keep your voice down. Come on. All right. Come on. Let's get back to wrestling again. Just keep your voice down.

I don't know if it's gonna work out, Dad. I don't know about this bag of stuff here. Let's, let's meet with the rest of the gang and maybe we can, maybe we can just, maybe you can leave a lot of that behind. No, there's a hiding all this stuff.

I don't know if it's gonna work out, Dad. I don't know about this bag of stuff here. Let's, let's meet with the rest of the gang and maybe we can, maybe we can just, maybe you can leave a lot of that behind. No, there's a hiding all this stuff.

Yeah, it was. I mean, no, that's the story we're sticking to. I mean, that's the good thing.

Yeah, it was. I mean, no, that's the story we're sticking to. I mean, that's the good thing.

We're gonna move on. We're gonna make it. We're gonna get out of here. We're gonna start over. And we're gonna be fine. You just gotta stay away from the Otters. You gotta stay away from the Eyrie. Alright? You gotta just lay low in Marquisate-controlled territory. It'll be alright.

We're gonna move on. We're gonna make it. We're gonna get out of here. We're gonna start over. And we're gonna be fine. You just gotta stay away from the Otters. You gotta stay away from the Eyrie. Alright? You gotta just lay low in Marquisate-controlled territory. It'll be alright.

Oh, we're going through the woods? Probably. We gotta talk to the rest of the gang. Okay, lead the way. All right. Here we go.

Oh, we're going through the woods? Probably. We gotta talk to the rest of the gang. Okay, lead the way. All right. Here we go.

All right, guys, we got him, we got him. He's a little encumbered, though.

All right, guys, we got him, we got him. He's a little encumbered, though.

Wow, your dad's got a big sack. He won't give up his stuff. He just won't get rid of it. I tried to convince him. He says he needs a lava lamp, and he needs all the magazines, and I just don't understand. He's got a lava loop?

Wow, your dad's got a big sack. He won't give up his stuff. He just won't get rid of it. I tried to convince him. He says he needs a lava lamp, and he needs all the magazines, and I just don't understand. He's got a lava loop?

Well, we could eat melon and good food. Bummer. All right. You don't need all this stuff, Dad. You don't need all this. That's very funny. I would have said, play Foxy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on, you don't need even half this. Look, and plus, look, the bag is torn, it's destroyed, it's ruined. Just leave all this. Oh, but my lava lamp. They don't need a lava lamp. Oh, my magazines.

Well, we could eat melon and good food. Bummer. All right. You don't need all this stuff, Dad. You don't need all this. That's very funny. I would have said, play Foxy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on, you don't need even half this. Look, and plus, look, the bag is torn, it's destroyed, it's ruined. Just leave all this. Oh, but my lava lamp. They don't need a lava lamp. Oh, my magazines.

We can get you new magazines.

We can get you new magazines.

I want to be clear, I'm not putting down roots. I'm going to keep moving.

I want to be clear, I'm not putting down roots. I'm going to keep moving.

Fine, you're right, it's all junk. It's all right. Look, we'll get you settled. We'll get your new stuff. It'll be fine.

Fine, you're right, it's all junk. It's all right. Look, we'll get you settled. We'll get your new stuff. It'll be fine.

Yeah, that was the plan all along. I mean, like, I was very open about that from the very beginning. So we're going to... I didn't come back to Muck Bed to hang out with my dad. I mean, it's nice to see him, but, like, you know, I've got my own life to live. I've got my own freedom to achieve. I've got places to go and people to see and things to do. Places to play the banjo.

Yeah, that was the plan all along. I mean, like, I was very open about that from the very beginning. So we're going to... I didn't come back to Muck Bed to hang out with my dad. I mean, it's nice to see him, but, like, you know, I've got my own life to live. I've got my own freedom to achieve. I've got places to go and people to see and things to do. Places to play the banjo.

I've got to get a new banjo, by the way. I guess we...

I've got to get a new banjo, by the way. I guess we...

I followed it, just like the music that I hear as I waltz down the straits. It's where it took me, and the music will take me somewhere else.

I followed it, just like the music that I hear as I waltz down the straits. It's where it took me, and the music will take me somewhere else.

Oh, this is gonna be a thing now.

Oh, this is gonna be a thing now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. No, that's not how this is working. We're relocating you to Pottsville. We're going to get you a nice place to stay. You're going to stay out of trouble. And then I'm going to move on with my life. Well... I'll come back and visit.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. No, that's not how this is working. We're relocating you to Pottsville. We're going to get you a nice place to stay. You're going to stay out of trouble. And then I'm going to move on with my life. Well... I'll come back and visit.

Whatever you say. Yeah. Why don't we start walking and we can talk about this maybe as we get closer to Pottsville? We got a long way to go, a lot of miles to get before we sleep.

Whatever you say. Yeah. Why don't we start walking and we can talk about this maybe as we get closer to Pottsville? We got a long way to go, a lot of miles to get before we sleep.

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

We're just gonna leave it, it's fine. I'm bringing the lava lamp. With any luck, it'll look like he got mugged and maybe they'll think he's dead, too.

We're just gonna leave it, it's fine. I'm bringing the lava lamp. With any luck, it'll look like he got mugged and maybe they'll think he's dead, too.

Why don't we just rum? Yeah, I think we should just get a move on here. I think we should, you know, rather not have to kill something. Yeah, here we go.

Why don't we just rum? Yeah, I think we should just get a move on here. I think we should, you know, rather not have to kill something. Yeah, here we go.

I'm not sure that's necessary, but we're not going to stop you.

I'm not sure that's necessary, but we're not going to stop you.

It's a miracle you still have that. I mean, a bunch of kidney, that doesn't really heal up. Surgery doesn't even take care of that. That's why you have two of them. I guess.

It's a miracle you still have that. I mean, a bunch of kidney, that doesn't really heal up. Surgery doesn't even take care of that. That's why you have two of them. I guess.

Whoa. Is that true?

Whoa. Is that true?

Oh. That's the only explanation for why you survived. Quite frankly. So we need to decide, are we going to Nookington, or are we going to go through the woods? Nah, it's faster to go through the woods, but it's safer to go through Nookington. Unless we're worried we're going to get ratted out and sent back.

Oh. That's the only explanation for why you survived. Quite frankly. So we need to decide, are we going to Nookington, or are we going to go through the woods? Nah, it's faster to go through the woods, but it's safer to go through Nookington. Unless we're worried we're going to get ratted out and sent back.

I don't think so. We know that it's not eerie controlled, correct? Or do we know that that one is Eerie Control? We believe it's controlled by the cats. But we won't know for sure until we get there. Sure, right. But you've not been. We have not been yet.

I don't think so. We know that it's not eerie controlled, correct? Or do we know that that one is Eerie Control? We believe it's controlled by the cats. But we won't know for sure until we get there. Sure, right. But you've not been. We have not been yet.

Don't be a weirdo.

Don't be a weirdo.

Whoa whoa whoa?

Whoa whoa whoa?

It's a current year dad. Settle down.

It's a current year dad. Settle down.

You can't, you can't, that's right, you can't. Whoa! God, I'm so embarrassed. Whoa, fine. We're going through the woods, but everybody's gotta, you know, keep their guard up, pay attention where we're going. You know, this isn't gonna be a cake walk here.

You can't, you can't, that's right, you can't. Whoa! God, I'm so embarrassed. Whoa, fine. We're going through the woods, but everybody's gotta, you know, keep their guard up, pay attention where we're going. You know, this isn't gonna be a cake walk here.

That's right, and a dangerous one at that. It is? Yes. Why? All sorts of things lurk in the forest.

That's right, and a dangerous one at that. It is? Yes. Why? All sorts of things lurk in the forest.

I'm sure the lava lamp misses you, too. Can we get a move on, please?

I'm sure the lava lamp misses you, too. Can we get a move on, please?

I mean, mac and cheese would be food. I can pick up a couple. I think we need water to make these actual meals.

I mean, mac and cheese would be food. I can pick up a couple. I think we need water to make these actual meals.

We definitely don't have that.

We definitely don't have that.

I've never been one to know much about milk and almonds. That's for sure.

I've never been one to know much about milk and almonds. That's for sure.

Wow.

Wow.

We definitely don't want to go out of the way. We want to stay away from the rivers. We've got to be careful of the... It's dangerous through Nookington.

We definitely don't want to go out of the way. We want to stay away from the rivers. We've got to be careful of the... It's dangerous through Nookington.

No, I do not want to go to that sidewalk. That's horrific. I don't want to do anything about that.

No, I do not want to go to that sidewalk. That's horrific. I don't want to do anything about that.

What the hell is this?

What the hell is this?

That's how she's able to hold that ukulele.

That's how she's able to hold that ukulele.

That's not true at all. Who would do that? Are you suggesting that there's an ocelot and an ocelittle, like a major and minor?

That's not true at all. Who would do that? Are you suggesting that there's an ocelot and an ocelittle, like a major and minor?

Just so I'm following, you say they steal your teeth, they put them under your own pillow so you find them in the morning. You wake up without any teeth.

Just so I'm following, you say they steal your teeth, they put them under your own pillow so you find them in the morning. You wake up without any teeth.

That seems like a hard thing to measure. There's no way.

That seems like a hard thing to measure. There's no way.

I don't know where you're going with this, but there's absolutely nothing stopping you from trying.

I don't know where you're going with this, but there's absolutely nothing stopping you from trying.

Yeah, but I'm gonna be honest, I don't really believe it.

Yeah, but I'm gonna be honest, I don't really believe it.

You wouldn't tell us what was in the hutch.

You wouldn't tell us what was in the hutch.

I don't think we want anything trailing towards us either, though.

I don't think we want anything trailing towards us either, though.

Again, it's just going to look like someone got mugged. We're fine.

Again, it's just going to look like someone got mugged. We're fine.

Oh, yeah. Very long.

Oh, yeah. Very long.

Yeah, you and me both, sister. I'm not sure that's going to happen, but we can always hope. We can always hope. It's getting dark. Yeah, don't worry. It'll be fine. It's noon. Both me and my dad, we were critter scouts, okay? That's how we learned how to start fires. We were fuzz scouts. That's right, fuzz scouts. He achieved the rank of bearded dragon. Oh, wow.

Yeah, you and me both, sister. I'm not sure that's going to happen, but we can always hope. We can always hope. It's getting dark. Yeah, don't worry. It'll be fine. It's noon. Both me and my dad, we were critter scouts, okay? That's how we learned how to start fires. We were fuzz scouts. That's right, fuzz scouts. He achieved the rank of bearded dragon. Oh, wow.

That's the top highest fuzz scout you can be. High bearded dragon. That's right. I only attained the rank of blue-footed booby. I was hoping to finish one day, but it just kind of got away from me.

That's the top highest fuzz scout you can be. High bearded dragon. That's right. I only attained the rank of blue-footed booby. I was hoping to finish one day, but it just kind of got away from me.

Good old Fuzz Scouts. That's how we start fires. We'll be fine in just a couple nights of roughing it.

Good old Fuzz Scouts. That's how we start fires. We'll be fine in just a couple nights of roughing it.

I don't know what you're saying.

I don't know what you're saying.

Rope beds? A bed made of ropes?

Rope beds? A bed made of ropes?

Never felt so good. So what do you think? You sold it? You think that he's gonna go after your brother? Jean-Luc doesn't last the night, I don't think. Look, he's racking up enemies. He's got Knight here as an enemy, now he's got this Ledoux fella as an enemy. We just gotta keep tacking on a few more, and then your brother's toast.

Never felt so good. So what do you think? You sold it? You think that he's gonna go after your brother? Jean-Luc doesn't last the night, I don't think. Look, he's racking up enemies. He's got Knight here as an enemy, now he's got this Ledoux fella as an enemy. We just gotta keep tacking on a few more, and then your brother's toast.

Dad, Wes is that way. Oh, oh, you're right, you're right. Okay, I'm in the lead.

Dad, Wes is that way. Oh, oh, you're right, you're right. Okay, I'm in the lead.

18?

18?

Not fall and scout ahead, but use my hearing and my perception, my heightened senses, to make sure there isn't trouble coming the way we're going, and not leading everyone into danger.

Not fall and scout ahead, but use my hearing and my perception, my heightened senses, to make sure there isn't trouble coming the way we're going, and not leading everyone into danger.

Should we fake our own deaths?

Should we fake our own deaths?

Roughly every time begging is an asthma attack. Yeah, exactly right.

Roughly every time begging is an asthma attack. Yeah, exactly right.

Hey, it's been all right. We've done it before. We'll do it again. We've survived every time. It's like the old days. It's like the old days.

Hey, it's been all right. We've done it before. We'll do it again. We've survived every time. It's like the old days. It's like the old days.

And so I'm thinking maybe if we fake our own deaths, then... We're just going to be faster than the slowest member of us, actually.

And so I'm thinking maybe if we fake our own deaths, then... We're just going to be faster than the slowest member of us, actually.

We have, we have. We've been through some rough stuff, and we're tough. We're tough, and you and your dad, you're wilderness experts, so you'll keep us safe. Expert's a little bit strong, but yeah, we'll get there. We'll be all right.

We have, we have. We've been through some rough stuff, and we're tough. We're tough, and you and your dad, you're wilderness experts, so you'll keep us safe. Expert's a little bit strong, but yeah, we'll get there. We'll be all right.

Maybe not these particular parts of the forest, but yes, we've spent nights in the woods, we've traversed so many deep, dark areas, it's been fine.

Maybe not these particular parts of the forest, but yes, we've spent nights in the woods, we've traversed so many deep, dark areas, it's been fine.

Well, and I'll be honest with you, too, when we did it before, you know, I was a different person. I was a lot more murderous, more willing to stab someone with a dagger. Now I'm a lot more of a banjo guy, so, you know, we'll see how things shake out.

Well, and I'll be honest with you, too, when we did it before, you know, I was a different person. I was a lot more murderous, more willing to stab someone with a dagger. Now I'm a lot more of a banjo guy, so, you know, we'll see how things shake out.

That's right, which, you missed that, too. Didn't go so well.

That's right, which, you missed that, too. Didn't go so well.

It'd have been different if you'd have seen it.

It'd have been different if you'd have seen it.

Before you put the mac and cheese in there? It'll be fine. It'll all cook out. Don't let anybody eat the mac and cheese. It'll all cook out. Do not eat the mac and cheese. Why not? Because if you don't boil the water first, it's not going to be good. It's going to look like Mr. Ledoux's desk. I could have sworn.

Before you put the mac and cheese in there? It'll be fine. It'll all cook out. Don't let anybody eat the mac and cheese. It'll all cook out. Do not eat the mac and cheese. Why not? Because if you don't boil the water first, it's not going to be good. It's going to look like Mr. Ledoux's desk. I could have sworn.

Well, Branch eviscerated it. Another branch? That already happened. We did that already.

Well, Branch eviscerated it. Another branch? That already happened. We did that already.

What is it? Vincy, are you all right? What's that face? Nothing. Can we share it? What is that?

What is it? Vincy, are you all right? What's that face? Nothing. Can we share it? What is that?

So we don't have any food, is what we're saying. We got no food?

So we don't have any food, is what we're saying. We got no food?

Well, we're not eating that either. It's got dysentery or giardia or something. There's no more food. We have to eat it or we'll starve. You're going to be starving a lot worse once you eat that and you just shit all your guts out. Why would I shit my guts out? Because he didn't clean the water before he made the mac and cheese.

Well, we're not eating that either. It's got dysentery or giardia or something. There's no more food. We have to eat it or we'll starve. You're going to be starving a lot worse once you eat that and you just shit all your guts out. Why would I shit my guts out? Because he didn't clean the water before he made the mac and cheese.

What if we tried... Dysentery, giardia, all those things. Those are serious illnesses.

What if we tried... Dysentery, giardia, all those things. Those are serious illnesses.

I mean, I'm not really much of a hunter. That's definitely not my expertise.

I mean, I'm not really much of a hunter. That's definitely not my expertise.

Especially since I've been staring into this fire. We're all practically night blind.

Especially since I've been staring into this fire. We're all practically night blind.

No.

No.

Oh, you're right. I'm completely blind if I turn around.

Oh, you're right. I'm completely blind if I turn around.

Also, that was very eloquent of you. That was, where did you learn that?

Also, that was very eloquent of you. That was, where did you learn that?

Okay, well, I hope that we have more time for that in the future.

Okay, well, I hope that we have more time for that in the future.

Well, you can do whatever you want now. You're free.

Well, you can do whatever you want now. You're free.

They did.

They did.

That's my favorite. What'd you do to get in trouble to get your books taken away?

That's my favorite. What'd you do to get in trouble to get your books taken away?

All right, why did you ever tell us about this?

All right, why did you ever tell us about this?

That sounds like one of those protags. You're like... Oh, oh my gosh. You basically like that.

That sounds like one of those protags. You're like... Oh, oh my gosh. You basically like that.

I don't want you to be scared. You might have nightmares if you read The Goosebumps. Wait, this is scary? It's a scary book, yeah.

I don't want you to be scared. You might have nightmares if you read The Goosebumps. Wait, this is scary? It's a scary book, yeah.

You can never just get one in the Scholastic Book Fair.

You can never just get one in the Scholastic Book Fair.

The covers are enticing, except for that cover, Christ.

The covers are enticing, except for that cover, Christ.

Right after the everlasting book fair. Looking back on it, I don't think that was very good parenting.

Right after the everlasting book fair. Looking back on it, I don't think that was very good parenting.

I was kind of starving. That was inappropriate for you to bring a young teen into the place called the Harry Potter.

I was kind of starving. That was inappropriate for you to bring a young teen into the place called the Harry Potter.

That's unnatural. No, guys, I'm telling you, please don't eat it. They ship it in. Please don't do it.

That's unnatural. No, guys, I'm telling you, please don't eat it. They ship it in. Please don't do it.

It's very scary.

It's very scary.

You're going to be up all night. You're going to be bothering me, telling me, asking me, Book, are you awake? Book, are you awake? Over and over again. And then I'm going to have to soothe you and calm you down and get you back to bed. Well, it would be rude to give it back, so why don't we just play it off like I read it? Okay, just pretend. Okay, I'll pretend.

You're going to be up all night. You're going to be bothering me, telling me, asking me, Book, are you awake? Book, are you awake? Over and over again. And then I'm going to have to soothe you and calm you down and get you back to bed. Well, it would be rude to give it back, so why don't we just play it off like I read it? Okay, just pretend. Okay, I'll pretend.

I take the, if he passes the pot to me. Nature's spoon. I immediately, after he passes the pot to me, I'll pass it on and I'll say, I will be having sleep for dinner. Go ahead. There's nothing else to eat? Final warning, I wouldn't eat that. We gotta have dinner, Booker. No, I'm fasting. I'll make it till tomorrow. But there's nothing else. What's gonna happen if I eat this?

I take the, if he passes the pot to me. Nature's spoon. I immediately, after he passes the pot to me, I'll pass it on and I'll say, I will be having sleep for dinner. Go ahead. There's nothing else to eat? Final warning, I wouldn't eat that. We gotta have dinner, Booker. No, I'm fasting. I'll make it till tomorrow. But there's nothing else. What's gonna happen if I eat this?

You might poop your pants. No. Come on. To death. You might poop your pants to death. You don't like your old man's cooking? You loved the mac and cheese. It has nothing to do with your cooking, Dad. It has everything to do that you didn't boil the water first. You didn't clean the water. I boiled it in the pot. It's killing it all anyways. I don't trust it.

You might poop your pants. No. Come on. To death. You might poop your pants to death. You don't like your old man's cooking? You loved the mac and cheese. It has nothing to do with your cooking, Dad. It has everything to do that you didn't boil the water first. You didn't clean the water. I boiled it in the pot. It's killing it all anyways. I don't trust it.

You know what those otters do when they're shipping up and down the river all day?

You know what those otters do when they're shipping up and down the river all day?

Somebody's going to eat my cooking, huh? I wouldn't do it. I can't stop you. You're free to do whatever you want. But I'm telling you, death by pants pooping is a bad way to go. What if I had just a little bit as a treat? Well, then you might little bit poop your pants to death. Why do you take a lot of it?

Somebody's going to eat my cooking, huh? I wouldn't do it. I can't stop you. You're free to do whatever you want. But I'm telling you, death by pants pooping is a bad way to go. What if I had just a little bit as a treat? Well, then you might little bit poop your pants to death. Why do you take a lot of it?

It's possible. This mac and cheese could kill me? No, it can't. More importantly.

It's possible. This mac and cheese could kill me? No, it can't. More importantly.

Oh no, I definitely don't like any of those things.

Oh no, I definitely don't like any of those things.

And if you're pooping your pants a lot, there's a good chance you just burst into flames in your throat.

And if you're pooping your pants a lot, there's a good chance you just burst into flames in your throat.

I was a pretty good storyteller, but this is real.

I was a pretty good storyteller, but this is real.

Look, here's nature's book. I made one for you, kid.

Look, here's nature's book. I made one for you, kid.

I have a plus nine. Roll for me, roll for me. Okay. Let's see. Oh, 17 with my plus nine. You got a seven. Yes!

I have a plus nine. Roll for me, roll for me. Okay. Let's see. Oh, 17 with my plus nine. You got a seven. Yes!

Yes, yes, in your face, Daddy.

Yes, yes, in your face, Daddy.

And when you go over there and you start shitting your pants to death, don't come back into the camp crying to me.

And when you go over there and you start shitting your pants to death, don't come back into the camp crying to me.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for collecting these votes. Thank you for coming up with the plans and helping me tally them.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for collecting these votes. Thank you for coming up with the plans and helping me tally them.

That was crazy. I don't know what happened.

That was crazy. I don't know what happened.

That's appalling, right? Oh, was there any mac and cheese left? No, he took it all with him. You don't want it. I'm telling you, you don't want it. It's going to make you sick. I mean, why? Why? You missed some family drama.

That's appalling, right? Oh, was there any mac and cheese left? No, he took it all with him. You don't want it. I'm telling you, you don't want it. It's going to make you sick. I mean, why? Why? You missed some family drama.

What do you mean, a trail of macaroni?

What do you mean, a trail of macaroni?

She's referring to elbow noodles. Okay, all right, well, so that presents a problem.

She's referring to elbow noodles. Okay, all right, well, so that presents a problem.

Why is it a problem that he spilled noodles in the middle of the woods? If anybody's looking for us, they're going to follow the noodles right to us.

Why is it a problem that he spilled noodles in the middle of the woods? If anybody's looking for us, they're going to follow the noodles right to us.

Who would follow a trail of noodles? Are you crazy? That's exactly what otters do! Eat the noodle. They follow noodles! In the dark woods! It's a human morph! That's like a CR40 monster we could toast.

Who would follow a trail of noodles? Are you crazy? That's exactly what otters do! Eat the noodle. They follow noodles! In the dark woods! It's a human morph! That's like a CR40 monster we could toast.

We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire right away.

We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire. We should put out the fire right away.

That's the point. They won't be able to see us. Look, I can see in the dark. I can see in the dark. I can't see in the dark very well. But I'll watch for you.

That's the point. They won't be able to see us. Look, I can see in the dark. I can see in the dark. I can't see in the dark very well. But I'll watch for you.

I don't know, I don't know. We scare them with fire. My vote's put the fire out, but.

I don't know, I don't know. We scare them with fire. My vote's put the fire out, but.

Me, it's Booker, and Booker wants to put the fire out.

Me, it's Booker, and Booker wants to put the fire out.

Oh, that's not good. Well, all right.

Oh, that's not good. Well, all right.

It's a tiebreaker. Wait, how was that? Anybody else vote for me?

It's a tiebreaker. Wait, how was that? Anybody else vote for me?

Oh, convince me. I've already said my piece. I've said my piece, too. It's either we do it or we don't. Either way, we're probably dead.

Oh, convince me. I've already said my piece. I've said my piece, too. It's either we do it or we don't. Either way, we're probably dead.

No, then we're just going to burn down the forest.

No, then we're just going to burn down the forest.

We'll be dead. Forest fires are no joke, Bitsy.

We'll be dead. Forest fires are no joke, Bitsy.

They're a huge, destructive force.

They're a huge, destructive force.

Let's put the fire out. And I'll start kicking dirt onto the fire to try to put it out and get it as much low as we can. Make a survival check to see how well you create a cold camp. Even though being in the Fuzz Scouts, my survival's not very good. Unless I roll a natural 20.

Let's put the fire out. And I'll start kicking dirt onto the fire to try to put it out and get it as much low as we can. Make a survival check to see how well you create a cold camp. Even though being in the Fuzz Scouts, my survival's not very good. Unless I roll a natural 20.

He's gonna bumroach the whole army of perverts. It's gonna be ocelots and hula hoops coming out of the woodwork.

He's gonna bumroach the whole army of perverts. It's gonna be ocelots and hula hoops coming out of the woodwork.

That's fine. Just keep your eyes open for anything that might be coming down the pathways. But I need to close my eyes in order to go to sleep. Well, then you go to sleep. I'll stay up. I can't sleep. There's too much danger. But you need sleep in order to not die from not sleeping. No, that takes, what, days, weeks? How long? I don't know.

That's fine. Just keep your eyes open for anything that might be coming down the pathways. But I need to close my eyes in order to go to sleep. Well, then you go to sleep. I'll stay up. I can't sleep. There's too much danger. But you need sleep in order to not die from not sleeping. No, that takes, what, days, weeks? How long? I don't know.

I'm not going to die from one night of not getting sleepy. How do you know? I've done it before. Can that happen? Well, yeah, but you have to, like, not sleep for, like, days and days on end, and somebody will have to keep poking you and keeping you awake and say, hey, Grumly, don't fall asleep. Oh, no. Hey, Grumly, don't fall asleep. Oh, God.

I'm not going to die from one night of not getting sleepy. How do you know? I've done it before. Can that happen? Well, yeah, but you have to, like, not sleep for, like, days and days on end, and somebody will have to keep poking you and keeping you awake and say, hey, Grumly, don't fall asleep. Oh, no. Hey, Grumly, don't fall asleep. Oh, God.

You're not going to die after one night of not sleeping. Well, you might.

You're not going to die after one night of not sleeping. Well, you might.

I told you not to read in that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, hold on, hold on. Why was it alive? It was a puppet. It's not real, it's not a real story. It doesn't make any sense. It's fake, it's a fake story. It's all right.

I told you not to read in that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, hold on, hold on. Why was it alive? It was a puppet. It's not real, it's not a real story. It doesn't make any sense. It's fake, it's a fake story. It's all right.

I'm not telling ghost stories. No, no, we're watching out for danger. You apparently left a mac and cheese trail all the way to us.

I'm not telling ghost stories. No, no, we're watching out for danger. You apparently left a mac and cheese trail all the way to us.

No. A noodle trail. I would never do that. You did. The bag tore open. That's why all the mac and cheese pour out of your bag. I would never do that. Well, not on purpose, I know, but it was an accident. if we're telling ghost stories in the cold game.

No. A noodle trail. I would never do that. You did. The bag tore open. That's why all the mac and cheese pour out of your bag. I would never do that. Well, not on purpose, I know, but it was an accident. if we're telling ghost stories in the cold game.

Yeah, of course I remember Uncle Clarence.

Yeah, of course I remember Uncle Clarence.

No. No? You're telling me that's what happened to Uncle Clarence? You told me he fell off a ladder.

No. No? You're telling me that's what happened to Uncle Clarence? You told me he fell off a ladder.

I always make sure that Grumly holds the ladder for me. That's good.

I always make sure that Grumly holds the ladder for me. That's good.

I saw the ocelot. Were you listening? He just described it.

I saw the ocelot. Were you listening? He just described it.

Was there like a lot of blood or viscera? If you're not careful with how you ask the questions, you can start the whole story over.

Was there like a lot of blood or viscera? If you're not careful with how you ask the questions, you can start the whole story over.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Uncle Clarence told you that? Yeah, we were good friends. Why would you share that detail with a friend of yours?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Uncle Clarence told you that? Yeah, we were good friends. Why would you share that detail with a friend of yours?

I don't believe any of this. This is a stupid story. Uncle Clarence fell off a ladder, and that's all there is to it.

I don't believe any of this. This is a stupid story. Uncle Clarence fell off a ladder, and that's all there is to it.

Yeah, just a little bit of a... Sounds like you got a kidney stone or something there, Pop.

Yeah, just a little bit of a... Sounds like you got a kidney stone or something there, Pop.

Hey, don't you blame that on Grumly. No, it wasn't me this time. We're a mixed company. They're ladies' presents. You don't know Grumly enough to be blaming that on him, all right?

Hey, don't you blame that on Grumly. No, it wasn't me this time. We're a mixed company. They're ladies' presents. You don't know Grumly enough to be blaming that on him, all right?

Beauregard made Beauregard shit his pants. He made that mac and cheese. I told you all not to eat it. Oh, he definitely shit his pants.

Beauregard made Beauregard shit his pants. He made that mac and cheese. I told you all not to eat it. Oh, he definitely shit his pants.

He's taking very small steps. There's a loud squelching noise with every step. I told you guys. I'm glad you listened to me. Finally. I can't hear you under the sound of a dance. I know, but I'll be all of you. And you'd all be dead. And I'd be the only one. Your dad's a real loud shitter.

He's taking very small steps. There's a loud squelching noise with every step. I told you guys. I'm glad you listened to me. Finally. I can't hear you under the sound of a dance. I know, but I'll be all of you. And you'd all be dead. And I'd be the only one. Your dad's a real loud shitter.

Also, Uncle Clarence did not get killed by some mythical creature. He fell off a ladder. Is he screaming about shitting? Probably. Just ignore him. Just ignore him.

Also, Uncle Clarence did not get killed by some mythical creature. He fell off a ladder. Is he screaming about shitting? Probably. Just ignore him. Just ignore him.

I'm in trouble. He's on his own now. He's on his own.

I'm in trouble. He's on his own now. He's on his own.

But we're not going to bury you when you die, old man. Oh, I hope I don't die from this. It's very likely. It's very likely. Should somebody play some music or something? I would love to, but I haven't been able to find a new banjo.

But we're not going to bury you when you die, old man. Oh, I hope I don't die from this. It's very likely. It's very likely. Should somebody play some music or something? I would love to, but I haven't been able to find a new banjo.

All right.

All right.

And he's just groaning. Cook stupid meals, win stupid prizes, I always say.

And he's just groaning. Cook stupid meals, win stupid prizes, I always say.

That's pretty good. Hey, Booker? Yeah, what's up, Conway? Do I piss loud? Why are you asking me this, Conway?

That's pretty good. Hey, Booker? Yeah, what's up, Conway? Do I piss loud? Why are you asking me this, Conway?

I can honestly say with 100% accuracy that until this single moment, I've never thought of it. It's never come to my attention, so probably not. But what if I am a loud pisser? I think we'd know. We'd all know. Peggy would have said something to my mouth.

I can honestly say with 100% accuracy that until this single moment, I've never thought of it. It's never come to my attention, so probably not. But what if I am a loud pisser? I think we'd know. We'd all know. Peggy would have said something to my mouth.

Ugh. It's going to be all right, buddy. It's going to be all right. Oh, it's not going to be all right.

Ugh. It's going to be all right, buddy. It's going to be all right. Oh, it's not going to be all right.

Oh, boy. You did this to yourself. You have no one to blame but yourself. Oh, who could be responsible? How could this have happened? You. You didn't boil the water. I did everything right. Oh.

Oh, boy. You did this to yourself. You have no one to blame but yourself. Oh, who could be responsible? How could this have happened? You. You didn't boil the water. I did everything right. Oh.

No, he doesn't, which is why he's in this mess in the first place, and I didn't even want to take him out of the damn clearing.

No, he doesn't, which is why he's in this mess in the first place, and I didn't even want to take him out of the damn clearing.

I was just trying to help your family.

I was just trying to help your family.

No, I got you all mixed up in family drama. This isn't your fault, Brumley. It's mine. I should have known better.

No, I got you all mixed up in family drama. This isn't your fault, Brumley. It's mine. I should have known better.

Not a very good one. No, you're right.

Not a very good one. No, you're right.

No, he did the right thing and I don't want him to die. He's your dad. I tried to not let him eat the mac and cheese. He just doesn't listen. He's so stubborn. You know, it's just like he thinks he knows everything.

No, he did the right thing and I don't want him to die. He's your dad. I tried to not let him eat the mac and cheese. He just doesn't listen. He's so stubborn. You know, it's just like he thinks he knows everything.

I understand that, but I had to try. Wait.

I understand that, but I had to try. Wait.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have done all this if I thought that. Here's the thing. He doesn't listen to you.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have done all this if I thought that. Here's the thing. He doesn't listen to you.

Maybe he listened to her. I mean, maybe, but we'd want to get to the clearing first, right?

Maybe he listened to her. I mean, maybe, but we'd want to get to the clearing first, right?

Well, and things are kind of boring there, so hopefully there's not much trouble for him to get into. Now, if he leaves after we've done all this, what can we do?

Well, and things are kind of boring there, so hopefully there's not much trouble for him to get into. Now, if he leaves after we've done all this, what can we do?

I suggest you take a long walk up a short pier.

I suggest you take a long walk up a short pier.

Right from the river.

Right from the river.

I don't know, I think the woods are pretty exciting. So I think- This isn't every water. Is that what you call it?

I don't know, I think the woods are pretty exciting. So I think- This isn't every water. Is that what you call it?

Like I said, had to do something.

Like I said, had to do something.

No one could have seen that coming. Everyone was in jail.

No one could have seen that coming. Everyone was in jail.

There's no excuse there.

There's no excuse there.

Well, these things happen. What can you do, you know?

Well, these things happen. What can you do, you know?

Okay. I'm going to just try to keep my eyes out for things for a bit. Good night, Booker. Good night, Grumly.

Okay. I'm going to just try to keep my eyes out for things for a bit. Good night, Booker. Good night, Grumly.

He's probably dehydrated. Water's not going to help at this point, especially the water that he brought from the river.

He's probably dehydrated. Water's not going to help at this point, especially the water that he brought from the river.

I'm drinking it.

I'm drinking it.

He's definitely going to be dead come sunrise. There is no saving him now. It's over. It's all over.

He's definitely going to be dead come sunrise. There is no saving him now. It's over. It's all over.

We have an alarm. But not all night.

We have an alarm. But not all night.

All deflated. Once he's back in camp, I would then go to sleep. Yeah. Nobody didn't see it.

All deflated. Once he's back in camp, I would then go to sleep. Yeah. Nobody didn't see it.

Not bad.

Not bad.

What? What? What is it?

What? What? What is it?

Quiet, quiet, currently. Perception?

Quiet, quiet, currently. Perception?

He'll tell people.

He'll tell people.

I don't see anything, brother.

I don't see anything, brother.

No, there's nothing out there is what I'm saying.

No, there's nothing out there is what I'm saying.

I'm saying there's nothing there.

I'm saying there's nothing there.

I said, I have dark vision.

I said, I have dark vision.

20 total, dirty 20.

20 total, dirty 20.

Freeboots! Yes! Yeah! We got to go grab old Bo. Get out of here.

Freeboots! Yes! Yeah! We got to go grab old Bo. Get out of here.

I look at Bromley and I say, There's nothing out there, right? Don't panic. Okay. What I want you to do is calmly get Bitsy and Peggy. I'm going to get Jean-Claude and my dad and get ready to run.

I look at Bromley and I say, There's nothing out there, right? Don't panic. Okay. What I want you to do is calmly get Bitsy and Peggy. I'm going to get Jean-Claude and my dad and get ready to run.

Home. Oh my god, go get them, go get them. This is when I started to scoot, keep my eyes on this creature, I started to scoot towards Jean-Claude.

Home. Oh my god, go get them, go get them. This is when I started to scoot, keep my eyes on this creature, I started to scoot towards Jean-Claude.

Yeah, I would be screaming and saying, like, we need to run, we need to run, we need to run.

Yeah, I would be screaming and saying, like, we need to run, we need to run, we need to run.

Where do we need to go? Which direction is it in? Oh, God. I would try to see, is it standing in the way that we need to go? If I know which way west is, like having a rough idea of where we're traveling.

Where do we need to go? Which direction is it in? Oh, God. I would try to see, is it standing in the way that we need to go? If I know which way west is, like having a rough idea of where we're traveling.

14 14 uh you see that it is in the direction towards the deepest part of the wood that you are attempting to go i would as i would immediately be like north pointing north to be like we need to run north and be and being like go that way go that way get that way i just just disappear into the woods you all start screaming as you're all waking up busy just

14 14 uh you see that it is in the direction towards the deepest part of the wood that you are attempting to go i would as i would immediately be like north pointing north to be like we need to run north and be and being like go that way go that way get that way i just just disappear into the woods you all start screaming as you're all waking up busy just

Wow. That's interesting. I would not have thought that would work out. God damn it.

Wow. That's interesting. I would not have thought that would work out. God damn it.

There's nothing we can do against the CR 75 monster.

There's nothing we can do against the CR 75 monster.

We're going to be like, lock this guy out. That was perfect. Let's go.

We're going to be like, lock this guy out. That was perfect. Let's go.

Get in the woods.

Get in the woods.

I really am. You got to get up. You got to pack what you can. Pack light. We got to get out of here. We're skipping town and running to Pottsville. We're getting out of here. We're getting you out of here. Pottsville. To be honest, they wanted us to murder somebody to clean your debt. And we didn't want to do it. We voted a lot. It was too many votes. There's no more time to explain.

I really am. You got to get up. You got to pack what you can. Pack light. We got to get out of here. We're skipping town and running to Pottsville. We're getting out of here. We're getting you out of here. Pottsville. To be honest, they wanted us to murder somebody to clean your debt. And we didn't want to do it. We voted a lot. It was too many votes. There's no more time to explain.

Get in the woods. We can decide if we take the road or not.

Get in the woods. We can decide if we take the road or not.

Get in the woods. Help me.

Get in the woods. Help me.

You're supposed to be here in five minutes, Stu.

You're supposed to be here in five minutes, Stu.

We gotta go. Go, go, go, go, go. Go in the woods. Just get in the woods. We gotta get out of here.

We gotta go. Go, go, go, go, go. Go in the woods. Just get in the woods. We gotta get out of here.

13, okay. You all make your way running through

13, okay. You all make your way running through

You got to come with us now. What?

You got to come with us now. What?

What do you all do? I turn to Grumman and I say, hey, were you able to get breakfast and walk out? Can I get my cart back? Hold up.

What do you all do? I turn to Grumman and I say, hey, were you able to get breakfast and walk out? Can I get my cart back? Hold up.

You're always thinking about your old pal Booker.

You're always thinking about your old pal Booker.