Bozoma Saint John

As soon as I got pregnant, I was terrified. Like sheer, I'm talking about like sheer terror. Trying to think of every way to get out. Like, okay, I made a mistake again. Like I made a mistake. It's my fault. I wasn't supposed to do this. I don't know why I did it. Okay. But I held on and held on and held on. Lael was born two and a half months early. And I prayed every single day of my pregnancy.

And every single moment of my labor, that she would be born. Alive, breathing, kicking, crying, anything. And I promised God, I was like, if she lived, that I would name her for him. Because I said, La El, meaning belonging to God. And she was born on May 29th. 2009. Same day as my sister. Yes. It was birthday.

And every single moment of my labor, that she would be born. Alive, breathing, kicking, crying, anything. And I promised God, I was like, if she lived, that I would name her for him. Because I said, La El, meaning belonging to God. And she was born on May 29th. 2009. Same day as my sister. Yes. It was birthday.

And every single moment of my labor, that she would be born. Alive, breathing, kicking, crying, anything. And I promised God, I was like, if she lived, that I would name her for him. Because I said, La El, meaning belonging to God. And she was born on May 29th. 2009. Same day as my sister. Yes. It was birthday.

And, um, the doctor prepped both Peter and I that, uh, because she was premature because they'd given me a bunch of steroids to help her lungs develop. So she could breathe. That's unfortunately what happened to Eve was that she just couldn't breathe. And, um, He says, she's probably not going to make a sound. You won't be able to hold her. We're going to deliver her and then she's going to go.

And, um, the doctor prepped both Peter and I that, uh, because she was premature because they'd given me a bunch of steroids to help her lungs develop. So she could breathe. That's unfortunately what happened to Eve was that she just couldn't breathe. And, um, He says, she's probably not going to make a sound. You won't be able to hold her. We're going to deliver her and then she's going to go.

And, um, the doctor prepped both Peter and I that, uh, because she was premature because they'd given me a bunch of steroids to help her lungs develop. So she could breathe. That's unfortunately what happened to Eve was that she just couldn't breathe. And, um, He says, she's probably not going to make a sound. You won't be able to hold her. We're going to deliver her and then she's going to go.

So just be prepared for that. And Lael came out like lightning. You know, it was like a crack in the air. She's like, wah, scream. And I, I mean, I was in such awe of her in that moment. I was like, ah. I've delivered a warrior, a real, like a real life warrior. And I refuse to let them take her. Cause I was just like, Oh no, no, no. She's, she's fine.

So just be prepared for that. And Lael came out like lightning. You know, it was like a crack in the air. She's like, wah, scream. And I, I mean, I was in such awe of her in that moment. I was like, ah. I've delivered a warrior, a real, like a real life warrior. And I refuse to let them take her. Cause I was just like, Oh no, no, no. She's, she's fine.

So just be prepared for that. And Lael came out like lightning. You know, it was like a crack in the air. She's like, wah, scream. And I, I mean, I was in such awe of her in that moment. I was like, ah. I've delivered a warrior, a real, like a real life warrior. And I refuse to let them take her. Cause I was just like, Oh no, no, no. She's, she's fine.

And when I tell you, I did one of those, like in the movies, you know, where you just reach down and grab the kid. That's what I did. I was like, no, she's mine. Ripped her right out of my womb. Put her on my chest. Oh, took in the scent of her, her heartbeat, the thin, translucent skin that she had, and felt every inch of her. She was not bigger than one palm, but I felt it, all of it.

And when I tell you, I did one of those, like in the movies, you know, where you just reach down and grab the kid. That's what I did. I was like, no, she's mine. Ripped her right out of my womb. Put her on my chest. Oh, took in the scent of her, her heartbeat, the thin, translucent skin that she had, and felt every inch of her. She was not bigger than one palm, but I felt it, all of it.

And when I tell you, I did one of those, like in the movies, you know, where you just reach down and grab the kid. That's what I did. I was like, no, she's mine. Ripped her right out of my womb. Put her on my chest. Oh, took in the scent of her, her heartbeat, the thin, translucent skin that she had, and felt every inch of her. She was not bigger than one palm, but I felt it, all of it.

And in the months that followed, you know, she was in the hospital for a while. I prayed every day. She came home right before her due date. I thought, now I'm responsible for this warrior, you know, to show her the way, to make her understand that her life is such a gift, you know, that she was so wanted, so needed, not just for like my own salvation and belief and faith,

And in the months that followed, you know, she was in the hospital for a while. I prayed every day. She came home right before her due date. I thought, now I'm responsible for this warrior, you know, to show her the way, to make her understand that her life is such a gift, you know, that she was so wanted, so needed, not just for like my own salvation and belief and faith,

And in the months that followed, you know, she was in the hospital for a while. I prayed every day. She came home right before her due date. I thought, now I'm responsible for this warrior, you know, to show her the way, to make her understand that her life is such a gift, you know, that she was so wanted, so needed, not just for like my own salvation and belief and faith,

but that she is here for such a great purpose. I mean, we all are, but I believe it for her. I know she's destined for something great. I don't know what that is. And I won't try to force it. Whatever the path is, I will follow it because there is no math that says she should be here, but yet she is. And so my hope is that she's just going to walk in her destiny and fulfill it.

but that she is here for such a great purpose. I mean, we all are, but I believe it for her. I know she's destined for something great. I don't know what that is. And I won't try to force it. Whatever the path is, I will follow it because there is no math that says she should be here, but yet she is. And so my hope is that she's just going to walk in her destiny and fulfill it.

but that she is here for such a great purpose. I mean, we all are, but I believe it for her. I know she's destined for something great. I don't know what that is. And I won't try to force it. Whatever the path is, I will follow it because there is no math that says she should be here, but yet she is. And so my hope is that she's just going to walk in her destiny and fulfill it.

I will. I will. And you already know, it's like, you know, the process of... writing is so, so difficult. Um, but this, this was, uh, it's been a long time coming, you know? And, um, I'm, I was ready. The moment I sat down, I was ready. I wasn't ready a moment before that. But as soon as I sat down, it was like, everything just started coming.