Bozoma Saint John

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183 appearances 2 recordings 2 series first heard Jan 2025 last heard Mar 2025

Bozoma Saint John’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The School of Greatness · Safe Relationship Choices Often Lead to Unfulfillment · 31 Jan 2025 podcast
Yeah.
Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Ten years in December.
Can you explain a little bit about that? Well, first of all, I really appreciate what you just said and shared about your dad, you know, because I feel that for all of us who are living this life on this like hurtling rock that we call home, we don't always have to have had the same experience to understand essentially the concept of what I'm talking about. this need for urgency.
And it's not necessarily about the rush through life, it's about the intention. Knowing, like you said, I wanna do these things, because what if? So then you're intentional about saying, okay, I wanna live a big life, or I wanna go do this thing that I'm dreaming of, or I wanna push a little harder. Because like, what if, right?
And the same thing for me in that, like, I don't think of the end of life in this morbid way where I'm just like, oh, today might be my last day. I don't think of it in a morbid way. It's very inspiring to me, actually. It makes me want to get up and go do the thing, you know? And again, it's not about a rush. It's like, I want to make the best use of my time.
that I have, I don't know how long it is, but I want to make the best use of it. And I'm also conscious of the fact that I won't do everything. And so that means that I have to be very intentional about the things I choose to do. Because if you walk around thinking like, oh, I have the time, I'll just do everything at some point. then maybe you don't get to do anything at all.
So I'm intentional in knowing that like, oh, okay, I might not get a chance to complete everything. So what's the most important thing? And then I want to do those things. And so at the time in December of 2013, when Peter passed away, we were there, you know, where the stories are true. You're sitting at the deathbed. and you're talking about all the things you wish you'd done.
Oh, yeah. We talked about so much. Oh, man. The things he wanted to do, his hopes and dreams, what he wants for Lael, our daughter, like what he wanted for her in the future. You know, all of those things. And I was sitting there listening and thinking and crying and making promises and all of the things and knowing that I need to change the way I live.
You know, he wouldn't have a chance to do it over. So I need to do it, you know? And it was such a dark time also because we were already going through so much on top of being at death's door, you know, that like our marriage had fallen apart. We had been separated for a couple of years already through so much.
gosh, additional traumas that happened to us, misunderstandings, anger, you know, that we couldn't overcome with just love.
Oh man, you think love conquers everything and no, it does not.
Love is not enough. You know, love is not enough. And it was all of that turmoil, That led us to that moment where I am sitting, holding his hand, and his breath gets shallower and shallower. And thinking about all the things I would have done differently if I had a shot to do it again. It's not necessarily that like, oh, I wish life had turned out differently.
It's just that I wish I had been motivated differently.
Oh, man. I think at that time I was motivated by just my own need for my own life. You know, not really focused on anybody else's. And that sounds very selfish, but that's where I was. You know, it was not, I was a mother and a wife, but I was so only focused on myself.
Yeah. At that time? Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, there was so much that... had happened on my path to motherhood. And it's another one of the things that like, you know, now I talk about so openly because we also paint motherhood like it's supposed to be like this great, amazing thing that like, oh, you get pregnant.
And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, all this love shows up from nowhere. And you're just like encapsulated by this person. It's like, no, that actually doesn't happen all of the time.
Moments of that might happen.
And sitting there and being like, oh hell, I made a mistake. This is not what I wanted in my life. You know? And struggling with that. And there were so many times where I thought, about that. It was like, wow, is this life what I actually wanted? And so then at that moment in December of 2013, I was like, oh no, I have to make the life that I want. I have to make it.
I have to be an active participant in it. You don't just sit back and let the life happen to you. You have to make it.
This might sound funny, but I think logic is what surprised me most. The logic of things. You know, the writing down. It's almost like the writing down of the plan. You know, things that make sense. Because you're like, oh, I'm going to do these things. I'm logically going to take these steps in order to get to that thing, right?
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