Bree Thomasel

Holy shit, I need to recover from that, James.

Wow!

Thanks, everyone, for giving me a whole bunch of new shit to talk about in therapy.

I feel like I've been psychologically waterboarded.

If my therapist is here, I'm about to make you a rich woman.

Just kidding, she fired me.

Please give it up for our host, Hagrid.

Mate, you have done a bloody fantastic job hosting this thing and to think you were our seventh choice.

Now, this is a true story.

When I messaged Rhys about coming on board to host the roast, and I quote, he said, is it going to be pork or is it going to be lamb?

You heavyset motherfucker.

Rhys looks like Tom Hanks in Castaway if Tom founded an entire native tribe and ate the whole lot.

Rhys, you look like my weed dealer, which reminds me, can I see you after the show?

Rhys, you look like a younger, unhealthier version of Duncan Garner.

I'm not too sure.

Do you identify as a loaded baked potato or what?

Tom Sainsbury's here.

Tom doesn't like people knowing how old he really is, which is a shame, Tom, because you look really good for your age.

Fuck, all right.

These next jokes aren't going to go down well.