Brené Brown

mutta todennäköisesti vienyt elämäni takaisin. Silloin menin taas tutkimuksiin ja olin kaksi vuotta yliopistossa yrittäen ymmärtää, mitä he olivat tekemässä. Mitä he olivat tekemässä? Mitä me teemme vulnerabiliteettiin? Miksi me haastamme sen niin paljon? Olenko yksin haastattelussa vulnerabiliteettiin? Ei. Tämä on se, mitä olen oppinut. Me haastamme vulnerabiliteettiä.

Kun olemme odottaneet puheenvuoron, se oli hauskaa. Sanoin Twitteristä ja Facebookista, että miten määrittelet ongelmallisuutta, mitä tekee sinut ongelmallisena. Viikon ja yhdeksän aikana minulla oli 150 vastauksia, koska haluan tietää, mitä siellä on. Minun täytyy pyytää isäni auttamaan, koska olen sydäntä ja olemme uudelleen syntyneet. Initiating sex with my husband. Initiating sex with my wife. Initiating sex with my wife.

being turned down, asking someone out, waiting for the doctor to call back, getting laid off, laying off people. This is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability. And I think there's evidence, and it's not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think that it's a huge cause. We are the most in debt, obese,

addicted and medicated adult cohort in US history. The problem is, and I learned this from the research, that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.

En halua tunnella niitä. Ja tiedän, että se on tunnella hauskaa. Minä hakeudun elämääsi elämässäni. Tiedän, että se on... Jumala! Et voi tunnella niitä vaikeita tunteita, ettei tunnella muista asioista tai ilmaisuutta. Et voi tunnella niitä. Joten kun tunnellaan niitä, tunnellaan ilmaa. Tunnellaan rauhallisuutta. Tunnellaan onnellisuutta.

Ja sitten me olemme pysyviä ja tarkoittamme tarkoituksia ja tarkoituksia. Ja sitten me tunnemme onnistumista, joten sitten meillä on pari kappaletta ja vananenäppimuffin. Ja se tulee olemaan tällainen vaarallinen kylpy. Yksi asia, jota minusta on hyvä ajatella, on se, miksi ja miten me olemme pysyviä. Ja se ei tarvitse vain olla yllättäminen. Toinen asia, jota me teemme, on se, että me teemme kaikkea, mikä on epäselvää, epäselvää.

Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. I'm right, you're wrong, shut up. That's it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort.

We perfect, but it doesn't work, because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks. Which just, I hope in a hundred years people will look back and go, wow. And we perfect most dangerously our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They're hardwired for struggle when they get here.

When you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, look at her, she's perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect, make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade. That's not our job. Our job is to look and say, you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging. That's our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that and we'll end the problems I think that we see today. We pretend to

that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives, we do that corporate, whether it's a bailout, an oil spill, a recall. We pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need you to be authentic and real and say, we're sorry, we'll fix it.

But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this. This is what I have found. To let ourselves be seen. Deeply seen. Vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee. And that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult.

To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of kind of terror when we're wondering, can I love you this much? Can I believe in this as passionately? Can I be this fierce about this? Just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophizing what might happen to say, I'm just so grateful because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive. And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough.

Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, I'm enough, then we stop screaming and start listening. We're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves. That's all I have.