Brené Brown

And one of the things that really struck me is he's like, you know exactly how to do this.

It's just, you know how to do this.

Like, this is who you are.

And I was like, I don't know if this is helpful, but I'm going to believe it anyway.

So when I got there, they had pictures of their kids who had been killed.

And I fumbled in my bag and pulled out my phone and showed them a picture of my kids.

And just intuitively and responsibly, what's the word I'm looking?

Intuitively and reflexively, like just it was a reflex because we were sharing pictures of children.

And two of the parents started crying.

And I said, I'm so sorry.

Because, you know, my children are still alive, right?

And I thought I've done something.

And they said, you are the first person that we've showed pictures of our kids to who looked at us in this very normal human way and said, let me show you pictures of my kids.

And we want to see pictures of your kids because it helps us understand that you know what it means to show the picture of our kids who have been killed.

And it was just this moment where, like, I remember one of the parents saying to me, if I go to a restaurant and I'm crying, everyone looks at me with pity.

And if I go and I'm laughing...

they look at me like, don't you care about what happened?

And so it's like this loss of normalcy where we participate

By not saying things like, wow, I had a really big memory of so-and-so today and how he used to run down the soccer field.

Like, as if, if we say that, they'll be like, oh, I forgot completely that I had, you know, this happen.