Brené Brown

When I connect your value and your lovability

and your worthiness for belonging to your performance, I am driving batshit levels of scarring.

Like you can come through it and change the trajectory of your athletic performance or your human performance or your personhood, but it will require deliberate repair.

You have to deliberately go through work, hard trauma work.

Shame is trauma.

Shame is trauma.

Shame is being told this makes you unlovable and unworthy of connection and belonging.

It's so serious.

Why don't people get how serious it is, Adam?

I don't know.

I've never understood why anybody thinks this is a...

an effective philosophy of leadership, of parenting, of teaching, pick your environment.

I think one of the reasons that people screw this up is shame is powerful and they see a short-term response and they think, oh, I just shamed my team and all of a sudden they trained harder.

I just shamed my kid and they stopped misbehaving.

I am learning that this works and they don't see the wound.

They don't see the long-term detrimental effect it has.

All they see is the immediate action.

I think it's the same reason why leaders think fear is an effective strategy.

And a lot of parents operate from a position of fear is you get reinforcement for the behavior that elicits an immediate response.

And