Brian Simpson

She's not going to embarrass him.

And he's playing.

Oh.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

I don't follow any of the political stuff.

He rented it. Okay.

I mean, did he leave some kind of manifesto? I don't know if he left a note. Did he leave a note?

Oh, so you're suggesting someone else wrote that? Yes.

Yeah, you're right.

Imagine having to be that measured in everything you say all the time. Just stick to the talking points.

Yeah, you're not going to forget what your first car was.

I mean, I've never seen anybody get that wrong.

Yeah, but I think I think they every president to get in there. They do. They do little shit different than the other side. But at the end of the day, the big major shit that would help out the average people, that shit, it always falls short a couple of votes.

That is weird.

Bro, this is how shocked that I am.

But what's the rest of the conspiracy?

Well, show us the public records.

Yeah, but what about that 1998 is a full Mustang?

Because, you see, the thing is, whenever weird shit happens, the first people to talk be full of shit. They the worst people.

2018, he got a Ford Mustang GT.

My homie, when I was in the service, he had this fucking blue Corvette. I forget what year it was, but it was old. But he was obsessed with this motherfucking car. And it was so fucking loud. Yeah. It was definitely like a 70-something. You know what I mean? Or a 60-something. It was like an old. Oh, the cool ones. Yeah, but it was like no modern technology in this motherfucker.

It was loud as shit.

Corvette Z1.

Oh, we were talking about how you remember your first car.

Everybody should drive a stick shift Miata. But you can't buy your... Because some people get crazy and they buy their kids shit like that.

Bro, have I told you how many in my... how many of my friends or family that I've had to talk out of getting a motorcycle. Like it's like that midlife crisis part where it's like, hey bro, you never rode a motorcycle. Like you 40, you can't start now. I got real close and then the universe gave me a whole bunch of signs. Because even the best riders in the world will lay that bike down. Yep.

So it's like, you out here, you haven't ridden a bike ever or in 25 years, you're going to get fucked up out there.

That's stressful.

and there were girls in the street and this guy, a bunch of motorcycles went by but only one girl got hit. But it was like. Vehicles.

And I don't think it was some kind of malfunction. It probably was bad communication. Somebody got wrong information. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

This is why I checked out, bro. Because it's so hard to take everything serious because we live in such a ridiculous time. The chances are more than zero that what you said is the case just now. Right, more than zero. It's like, we live in a ridiculous, we don't trust anything. Right. I don't.

So it's like, that could be somebody, because my next thought shouldn't be, I wonder if somebody important was on that jet.

No, bullshit, no way.

Yeah, but they gonna fuck some... I mean, listen, because all I have to judge... This is the tinfoil.

Yeah, but all I have to judge my artificial intelligence is the Google Gemini and ChatGVT, and they be fucking shit up. Yeah, but this is just consumer-grade.

That's the thing. It's like if you bring in the tariffs, you have to make them so high that the American guns were cheaper by comparison.

They probably do have them. So why didn't it work? We're going to find out pretty soon. Or we'll never find out.

Oh, yeah. Because that's the thing. I was like, it would have to be a group of people. Because if they just wanted to take out one person, why waste a helicopter? There's better ways to kill one person.

And that shit was ripe for comedy for like five years. Yeah. People get vicious about shit, man. People get vicious. But here's the other thing. It might just be incompetence. Most likely it's incompetence.

Oh, like this was a test run?

See, I think a better conspiracy would be if we found out that it was like Delta was behind it. You know what I mean? Delta tried to take out American Airlines? Or like Alaska was like, yo, we're going to fucking ruin their reputation.

Almost everything we have.

I think that it probably is the case, but it's definitely our government doing it.

Everybody gets their shit from somewhere. Yeah. I mean, like I said, the problem with American manufacturing is you can't do it for as cheap because you have to pay people enough to live.

But it can be done. That's why people... It's going to be a couple generations before people will...

be down with it being fully autonomous cars like you know we see all these driverless cars around this motherfucker but it's like i ain't getting one of them motherfuckers yeah get the fuck out of here no way but but because if they wanted to kill you i mean we saw that in the old the new total recall they did that where it's like all the cars drive themselves but when they want to find you they fucking stop your car pull you over yeah well everybody's terrified about that you know and um

They just shut your car off. Right. But imagine being a drug runner and getting all the features.

One of my favorite online lawyers, he always goes, his name's Bruce Rivers. But he always saying, never commit a misdemeanor while you committing a felony. If you're moving cocaine, don't break the speed limit. Put on your seatbelt.

A bit of it, for sure. Because who stops selling drugs when they get away with it? Nobody. Right. Why would they stop doing that? Right. Now they just know how to not get caught. Well, maybe they probably work with people. Because please believe, if we really, really wanted to stop drugs, it would be extreme, but we could.

I rarely see anybody drunk.

Yeah, I mean, you're definitely just not thinking. You're just doing. But what is Adderall?

It's an amphetamine, for sure.

I think the biggest problem is most people's lives suck so bad that drugs is their only... You know what I mean? That's true too. That's true too. That's instant happiness. That's true. You know what's so funny is I think a lot of people assume that most of the homeless people on the street are homeless because they had a drug problem. But it's usually the other way around.

They usually are fine when they hit the street and they start using drugs. Because what else the fuck are you going to do? Where else are you going to get happiness from? You're not warm. You're not safe.

And I don't know what the solution is. Oh, just legalize everything. I don't know that either. I would have said that five years ago, but... Maybe that is the ultimate solution, but the way it's implemented – because I think they tried that in Seattle or Portland or somewhere. Yeah, they had to stop it.

Yeah, and so it's like – but they also just went from what we're doing now to just everything's legal.

No.

Yeah, it was Oregon.

See, that's how I feel about health care.

That's a good way to look at it. It's like, imagine if a fire department could deny you when your house was burning.

Some shit just can't be for profit. If we want it to be for the best, some stuff can't be for profit.

You know how I reacted the same way when they got Osama bin Laden. I was like, it's the same to me.

No, but I mean, they both are indirectly responsible for the deaths of how many Americans? Except he was doing it for profit. Osama was doing it for the love of the game or whatever.

You can't let people's grandmas die and let them stay in pain and shit and then expect them to have empathy for you.

They need to bring back the Nokia phones. Remember those brick phones? Yes. Well, don't do that. Indestructible. Make it dope. Make it a dope phone. But, you know. I don't know, man. I think those days are long gone. The days of American manufacturing? Yeah.

And you also got to...

They're impressed by the shit you're doing too.

No, I don't think they feel guilty. I mean, some people might feel guilty afterwards.

But it's like the easiest person to lie to is yourself. So it's like you probably feel like shit. You get that first paycheck and you start twisting shit so you could justify it.

Standard is a word they use a lot when they're trying to fuck you.

And it wasn't bipartisan, that's what I mean. That was the wildest thing about the whole thing. It was like you couldn't tell by any other information from anybody how they felt about it.

Because for me, it just depends on who got murdered. I'm not rooting for a murderer.

And they haven't said specifically. I mean, there's a lot of speculation about was it a family member or like he'd had a back surgery that screwed him up and... But like I said, I only I only get the news that like rises. That's like forced in my face because I don't I don't watch any of the.

I think that's something that you can partisanize. Partisanize a word? I think it's something you can make partisan. But like I said, that's what's special. That's what's special about this is... Everybody got fucked over by Trump. Everybody got fucked over. So there's people that love Dick Cheney or there's people that still hold those politics from back then.

I don't know if anybody loved Dick Cheney.

What? You forgot? Yeah, but I just mean, I don't think he is as hated as... I mean, the truth is, nobody knew that CEO's name before this. But the whole business is hated. So he became the face of that. And it's definitely apolitical. It's like, I don't know a single person that hasn't had an issue with health insurance.

See, you know what I realize is like why – because sometimes politics comes up in the green room and I just – I always separate myself from the conversation because I realize – what everybody has, regardless of what size of issues they on, is they, y'all have hope. I'm cynical, I'm cynical than a motherfucker.

Stay private. Stay private. Yeah, but don't you think the type of person that would even want to make an insurance company, like I think you would have to be a certain type. Yeah, you have to be a certain type. I should profit from suffering somehow.

Because I think if you start heading in that direction of like ethical health care, eventually you're going to arrive at, oh, there shouldn't be health insurance. It should just cost what it costs.

Using AI to deny.

I'm like, this shit was over, this shit been, you know, it's like, for me, I'm like, I see, I see the asteroid coming. Yeah. And I'm like, ain't nothing we gonna be able to do about that.

Or they tell you all of that and then they go, oh, actually, you not covered. Because you didn't tell us about this thing from, yeah. Okay, well, I still need the surgery and I don't have, you know, $50,000. Right. Like that's the shitty part. Yeah, because there's some people that like they are healthy and they take care of themselves and they pay their insurance.

And they're completely fucked. They're completely fucked. And it's like that shouldn't be possible.

Oh, bro, did you also know there's fucking, there's fires, the same thing's happening in South America and Africa. Really? Yeah, just whole places burning the fuck down. I'm shocked that I'm not hearing more about that.

There's satellite footage of all the three fires starting at the same time.

Yeah, and I remember there being a big one probably like 2007 or 2008.

That's actually hilarious.

He's an arsonist with a fire truck.

But it's wild that you, I feel like if you go to prison for arson, like you purposely burn a shit, if they let you out, they should at least track you like they track pedos. Well, you've killed a lot of people.

25 burned alive.

Yeah, I think we're going to see more and more of this. It's getting hotter and drier. Well, they have to fix it.

But don't they do all that shit every year?

Yeah, but he might have been telling the truth.

That don't mean he was lying.

Yeah, that's wild. I mean, it's wild to just carry a blowtorch around. How much is a lighter?

Yeah, like a dollar. Maybe it's probably $1.20 something.

Who makes Bix? Am I guessing? See, in my head, I was thinking, like, you in the house, you can't find a lighter. So you're like, I got a torch. I'm going to just use that. But you're saying he was, like, walking around outside.

He said, Google, it's empty. It's like, even if you're telling the truth, like, your stupid ass deserve just the inconvenience.

Man, it's the best one ever. Yeah. Easy. I know, I need to sit down and watch it. Everybody tells me it's awesome. It's the best monologue I've ever seen on SNL.

He compares Palestine to the Palestinians. Yeah, he pretty much went through all the major things that's going on.

I want to see it. Because like I said, I never see shit like this.

Good.

No, I don't mind people sending me the news, but I just don't actively go seek it out. This is so depressing. Because I'm like, if it's something I need to know, somebody will tell me about it.

Motherfucker.

See, man, this is why I avoid the news. It's because all the stupidest people I know are happy as shit. So I'm like, I just need to know less. And I can enjoy it.

I think things are getting real weird, real weird. Because you know what it is? It's the death of truth. It's hard to know what's true. You hear something, it sounds true, and then you hear something else, you go, that's not true. And then both can point to the links and studies, and you're like, it's just stressful trying to figure out what's correct and what isn't. Yeah, that's on purpose.

Did you see the scientific discovery yesterday?

They fucking, they had a, they found an asteroid. Oh. I did see this. And it had like most of the ingredients for life on it.

Like all the amino acids. Not all of them, but like all but three. And then all of the, I forget what the big ass word this lady used. But I think this was a theory before, but it's becoming more and more likely that life was seeded by an asteroid or something.

Panspermia.

Yeah, but, you know, the problem with that is we live in a society where, like, none of that shit's going to happen unless they make more money than what we're already doing.

Did you find it? Osiris Rex mission. So they found amino acids, nucleotide bases, minerals from saltwater and more.

That's one of the theories. Isn't that an asteroid?

Yeah, I've heard, I think I heard Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about that recently. All of it is like, what are you even saying? Or that gravity is different in different places, something like that?

That's what I'm saying, bro.

Like what happened? Yeah. I mean, science has been kind of killing it.

Remember when I first told you about it hadn't launched yet? And I was like, that's going to change everything.

But then didn't somebody recently – well, not recently, but didn't someone say that like it's still within the margin of error? Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know, he's kind of always been known for the gaffes. Like, because I remember when Obama was picked him, that was the number one concern was like, oh, but sometimes he be saying shit.

Or maybe infant. The next time you come on here, I want to be here the next time you have one of these motherfuckers. These Lawrence Krauss. You want to be in here with that? Michio Kaku. Yeah!

Well, if you were like abducted by a UFO, you're going to sound crazy. What are you going to do? Like you walk in the green room and you see me changing heads. I turn around like, oh.

Yeah, it's like no one will believe you. The new Alien Romulus. Have you seen the new one? Oh yeah, it was great. Actually, I saw it. That was the first time I actually enjoyed one of those, I don't know, they call them 4D or D-Box. They got the smoke and the Oh, you went to one of those places? I saw that movie, yeah. Oh, that's a good move.

Yeah, and the thing is, it's not a consistent experience yet, but that was the best one I've had so far. Especially when I realized you could turn the water off. Because when the aliens spray, some of the shit get on you and shit. It's like a spray from the ceiling. And I was like, you know, I'm having a good time. But I don't want to get wet. But can I turn this fucking water off? But you can't.

I just didn't realize it for way too long.

I don't know, Prometheus was kind of the same kind of spirit.

I didn't like Prometheus until the second time I watched it.

Yeah, because it just wasn't what I was expecting. But once I saw it on its own merit... I think Covenant's better.

Oh, no, no.

Yeah. Okay, yeah, that was great.

That's Prometheus. I forget what they called them.

They didn't have a war. They were seeding other planets.

It's fucking good. Well, you know what was dope about Aliens 1 and what was the one? Prometheus? No, no. Aliens 2? The latest one. Oh, God, what did I call it? Romulus. So what they had in common was, like, the protagonist didn't know what they were dealing with. Right. So that's what made it more exciting.

You're going to fucking kill our profits. Fuck this healthy shit. Because that's the other thing. But what's different now than what's happening back then is we're so divided. If somebody in the government suggested anything was the best, the healthiest thing, at least half the country would be like, I'm not fucking with it for that very reason. You're so right.

Yeah, and all the other aliens after that was like... Yeah. Sigourney Weaver's like, I know exactly how to deal with these motherfuckers.

Please believe me.

And then wasn't there one where she gave birth to one?

Bro, speaking of which, yo, Charlize Theron, it's a movie on Netflix. I have no idea why it wasn't bigger, but it's called, like, she's immortal. Can you look that up? She's immortal? Yeah, she leads this team of immortals, and they're like mercenaries or whatever. So it's like a superhero movie? Kind of. Old Guard. Old Guard. It's good as shit. Really? Yeah. Really?

She's real good at playing like a badass. You know, she played Furiosa. She killed that shit. Well, she also played Eileen Wuornos, that serial killer bitch.

Yeah.

Let me see it. I didn't see it.

I've seen Monsters.

And she looks just like that lady. No, but I didn't see this. I was mixing this up with another movie called I Pissed On Your Grave or something. Yeah, there's a revenge movie called I Pissed On Your Grave.

So Blade's a vampire movie the way that Die Hard's a Christmas movie.

So what about the teenage heartthrobby one that kind of ruined it?

It's like they attached Obama to Obamacare, even though it was not a bad thing. And if Trump was like, hey, every American, jumping jacks is the best exercise. People are like, you don't know Trump jacks. That's your president's exercise. So it's like, we're so divided, nothing's going to stick.

But you know, I'm not one of those people that's like, it doesn't have to be good for me to like it. Because there's a lot of people that like bad movies. Right. I can't get with it.

And you're like, oh my God. And this isn't my take. I've heard other people talk about it like this, but that's the other thing that made Alien great. It's like you don't always show the monster. Exactly. Exactly. horror is like seeing the monster and how much it's gonna definitely kill you. But like terror is like... knowing that there's some shit in here and I don't know what the fuck it is.

You need a little foreplay. Yeah, yeah. It's like I walk in. You need a little foreplay before you get horrified. Why is Johnson dead? Yes. I was just in here with him. What the fuck? Why the wall built it? You know, that's the shit that makes it good. Exactly.

That's why Jaws was such a hit.

It still holds up. Predator still holds up. You ever seen Predator?

That still holds up. The first Predator.

No, no, my favorite line is when... Jesse Vendura? No, no, when they walk into the woods and the old boy keeps making noise, he goes, he goes, you fucking this motherfucker. Like, he tell him, like, if you keep making noise, I'm going to bleed you. I'm going to, like, leave you out here. I forget what the word is he used, but he was like, you telling everybody where the fuck we at.

By the way, you moving, talking, tripping, sliding. Yeah, there's something about that, the idea that a sporting alien would come down and hunt people that's uniquely scary. So many iconic scenes in there, too. Oh, yeah. The joint with a native dude is like, fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take off my shit. I'm going to cut my chest. What's up? That's a fucking dope one.

The one where Arnold and Apollo Creed, where they do this right here. Yeah. So this was wild. That's a meme now. Yeah. Right? But just their arms. Uh-huh. And a lot of people don't even know that it's from Predator. They just see it as like, that's the meme. Right, right, right. Yeah, I've tried to show that to one of my nephews.

He was like, oh, that's like the cooperation meme or whatever the fuck they call it.

There it is. I'm here for that.

They're like, this is how two badasses say hello.

It's so stupid. It's so dumb. No, this movie was, the dialogue is crazy. That's back when Carl Weathers was jacked.

You didn't know when to quit, huh?

Yeah.

Bro, the run that Arnold had. Oh, he did a gang of great movies. Like, just action. Like, he's the action star. Conan, bro.

Conan the Barbarian.

Super nerd. There was like a comic book before?

You know what Conan was for me as a kid? It was my first John Wick. Right. It was like, oh, this dude going to fuck everything up.

Yeah.

It's not the best one ever. It's actually dark as hell.

So the same guy that did Nosferatu did Northman?

Yes.

I'm here for monsters, action, revenge. That's my kind of movies.

Maybe the guy they want to lead it.

Oh, wait a minute. So it's a new character. He did The Lighthouse 2?

They were like, ah, it looked just like a person. I went and saw that. My family went and saw that, and I went and saw a different movie. It was the first time that, because it was like a thing we did. We'd go to the movies like every other week. But my father, my stepfather didn't give a fuck about no age limit. They're like, you're going to see what we see here.

This was the first time I was like, I don't want to see that shit. And I still end up going in there after because my movie was over before this. I think I went and saw Short Circuit 2 or something. Look, he's going and chasing after this deer.

I can just feel everybody in this room about to die. Everybody's going to die. It's great. Oh, this is awesome.

I'm talking about how much we're divided, but it's weird. That's the one thing they couldn't divide people on. I remember after the CEO got popped... on CNN and MSNBC and Fox, the narrative was the like, how dare people be excited? Because at first they tried to do what they do with everything and they say, oh, look at these liberals fucking laughing at death.

Dr. Hunnigan?

It's a great fucking scene. See, my only problem with it is it's not a scary enough wolf.

I do remember there's a scene with a subway scene, right?

I never heard that.

And then they realize like, oh, the insurance industry is fucked over everybody. Everybody. They don't give a fuck who you voted for.

I guess maybe scary ain't the right word. But it was the sequel to X. The sequel to X? And I'm forgetting the name of it. Yeah, not Malcolm X, but the same girl played in both movies. You know what I'm talking about? It was called... Okay, yeah, so the sequel to this movie... So what is X? It's about... It's a slasher film? Yeah, it's a slasher film, yeah.

But the sequel to it... Because I never saw that when I saw this. Okay. I still haven't seen X.

No, that's not it.

No. It's on there? It's got that same girl in it. Who's the star of this? Pearl. That's what I mean. Oh, so Pearl was a prequel. Oh, okay. I didn't realize. Okay, so Pearl came out. I saw Pearl before. I haven't seen any of the rest of these. This shit is crazy. I liked it. And she's a serial killer? She's insane.

But it's like, you kind of know she's the monster the whole time, but she doesn't become monstrous. It's kind of the same thing. And she's cute? Yeah, she's cute. She's adorable at first glance.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, bro. You want to talk about like a... This looks psychotic. Like this bitch is just slipping into insanity further and deeper and deeper and deeper.

It wasn't a rampage. In fact, that's the thing. That's the thing I respect more is that the people that shoot up a place, it's like if you mad at somebody, go after them. Why you killing people that got nothing to do with your beef? Right? At least he was specific. He didn't build in.

He just hit you with so many though. So many in a row. I can't even – that's like his – Oh, you didn't know? His entertainment. Oh, yeah. It's his life. And I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Exactly. I like to hear people that's into it talk about it, but I'm never going to go look it up.

This is probably true a lot of the time. But where you run into logical trouble is just because they lie and don't mean that the first alternative that people give you is the truth. Right, like some kooky YouTube video. Yeah. That's got it broken down. So it's like, they don't want you to know. I saw, bro, did you see this shit? You know Godfrey? The comic?

So he had, I forget the name of the scientist, but he had a scientist come on and debate Lord Jamar. Lord Jamar's a flat earther. And it didn't go well. Of course it didn't.

Yeah, but bro, imagine that being your whole life is just opposition.

You know Christopher Hitchens, right? Sure. He made his whole career debating Christians and Muslims. He would go to their churches and debate their leaders. And somebody asked him one time, like, hey, if you could snap your fingers— and make all religion just go away. Like, would you do that? And he was like, honestly, no, because I just like arguing with them too much.

If Trump actually fixed health care, he would go down as one of the greatest presidents. It would be... I think it would be a whole different, like if he actually did like viable, real change to the healthcare system that like made it work for everybody.

Or something to that effect. Those weren't his exact words, but it was like... Something to that effect. I think you got to be a special kind of person to be like, no, I want all the smoke. I want to argue directly with people that I don't think.

But also it's like we're puzzle-solving creatures. It's like the need to have an answer to the puzzles. Oh, yeah.

Wait until your God gets home, young man.

Oh, man. That fucked me up for a little while when I was like, you know. That God was watching all the time? Because we used to go, when I was little, I would get, there was a church that was also a school. They were a Christian school, but on Sunday, they used the school buses to go pick up kids, just like school, but it was for church. And we got sent to that.

It wasn't even the church my grandmother went to. She just sent us to this one.

You don't know about that?

But he got out of all of it.

They don't fuck around.

They don't have religious freedom. I bet you the Mormons got an app.

Wow. How'd she know they were screaming? Was she there? I don't know, man.

And they weren't connected to that dope shit? They got to be.

Because this is why that don't make sense to me.

You don't accidentally shoot the wrong caravan. I mean, what's the chances that another caravan looked just like yours?

Yeah. I feel pretty safe where I'm at.

But hasn't the Mexican government like started cracking down on the cartel? I don't know. They did that shit somewhere. I mean, I'm pretty sure the dude is a dictator. Yeah. But he just locked everybody up.

That depends on who you give a fuck about.

Probably a little bit of that going on, too. In that type of situation where it's like a drastic change and they're rounding up hundreds of thousands of people, there's going to be a couple of revenge joints slipped in there. Oh, damn. Sorry, Jorge. I accidentally put.

It's not Venezuela.

I don't know.

What do you do? How do you sustain that too?

You know my stance.

We're cooked.

Because I think people are less intelligent when they're in large groups. The larger the group, the dumber the average IQ, I bet, in terms of how people behave. Well, I think also in large groups, you don't have to think as much because things are set up for you. And it's just because, you know how I know we're doomed? Okay. Online gaming.

When you go play a team, I'm playing this Marvel rival shit everybody playing now, but it's like try to get matched up randomly with five other people and get everybody to cooperate. And how often you come across people that are just completely selfish to the point where they'll lose on purpose. And they take the penalty for losing too, but just to ruin your day.

Well, that's just randoms that you're meeting online, though. Right, but I mean— You've got to cultivate. You see how people communicate. And obviously gaming is a certain demographic, but I just mean— Incels. It just reminds me. No, it's not incels. It's regular people out there that just act like assholes when they're anonymous. Yeah, of course, because they can. So people will do selfish—100%.

You see these game shows where it's like, you know, it's that whole, what's it called, the prisoner's dilemma or whatever.

We can all win or I can win. And how often do you see people just go, fuck all of y'all? And they probably encourage you to do it because it makes for good TV. And I know, look, there's good people out there. I meet extraordinary people all the time, especially now that I live here. I meet people all the time that's like, wow, if it was more people like you, we would be good.

But it's so little people like you.

Yeah, everything you've got to make do. I'm not with that either. Some friends are worth making.

But I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. It's hard. You know what it is? I can make a new friend. I'm very emotionally unavailable. So I just need friends that don't need that. You know what I mean?

Maybe emotionally unavailable is not the right word, but I'm very... I feel very much burdened by unexpected obligations.

So, like, if you hit me with some last-minute shit or you constantly need me, because I'll be there for you. But if you're constantly needing stuff and it gets to that, I just.

Bro, you know what? I love being by myself. I love going to a restaurant alone. I love company, too, but I go to the movies alone. I like being alone. I like shopping alone. Well, you have a balance. You spend enough time in front of thousands of people. Because you know what I don't like? I don't like variables.

It's like the more people that come, the more shit can switch up, the more people go wrong.

How many times have we eaten dinner? What would you say is the perfect amount of people to bring to dinner?

Oh, right, right, right.

But I say, but six is for me. Six is a good number. If I hear that it's going to be more than six, now it's like it's going to be separate conversations. And what if Bob can't drink?

But, yeah, I just don't like being in big groups. Right.

My middle name could be who all going to be there. Right. You invite me to something? Because even now, like Derek and them, they'll invite me to stuff even though they know I'm not coming.

It's a gift of the curse. Oh, it's a gift. That's why I say ignorance is bliss. When you notice too much, you can't be happy. You can't possibly be happy. Or you've got to distract yourself. You can be happy for a second when you're on a drug or having a good time, but eventually you go, how did that fucking helicopter crash into a plane?

Of course it's martial arts, but my dumb ass, my mind went to like, you teaching in a classroom like a professor? Oh, and they would fight?

Yeah. But you can still be world champion and be that person.

You're not going to speak well in like 20 years. At the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end, it's going to be rough. Because it's amazing to me. That's another thing. We talk about legacy and stuff like that, but – MMA-wise, Jon Jones is equivalent to Floyd Mayweather in terms of how little damage he's taken over.

The first Gustafson fight.

He said that was the hardest he ever got hit, Rashad.

I think Shogun stopped him.

Just that bitch, though. Rampage used to— Yeah.

Look how tiny that referee is.

I saw a video of somebody talking shit to him. Like one of the young fighters now talking shit to him. Oh, it was Kevin Holland.

Young guys are, you know how they are. Because that's like if Randy Couture would say something out of pocket. Right, right, right.

Yeah, because also like it doesn't look good. No. You arguing with him.

Yeah.

So then they fought again in 2007.

You see how tiny that motherfucker was? What you gonna do? What are you stopping in there?

There's no way that Herb Dean is stronger than Francis Ngannou. Impossible. But you've got to be strong enough that they feel you.

I don't think I've ever seen him in person.

He's just like, that dude is never going to work again. Like, that's a wild shit to say and mean it. Yeah. People make mistakes. You know?

Yeah, and the ref, they can only see from one angle.

I started that pay-per-view at that third round. So I hadn't seen the previous two rounds.

It's like Michael Chandler.

I never see Michael Chandler get tired. Incredible. Remember his last fight when he lost? With Oliveira, yeah. Yeah, but he's sitting there standing up with a motherfucker on his back in the last round.

It was clean. I think I was there. You might have been there. Yeah, man, we had some good-ass fights this year. And now Crawford's about to fight. Yes, he's going to fight Canelo. Oh, man. I just hope he's big enough. I hope he's big enough to keep that dude off him because Canelo hits so hard, man. That's one dude that I believe all the shit he be talking. Crawford? Yeah. Oh, he's good.

He don't just be saying shit.

He's a strategist that's also entertaining.

You know what I mean? He's an artist. Remember like a young B-hop?

It was just so sharp and made it look almost entertaining. You know what I mean?

Thank you. Oh, you know what? One thing we forgot to talk about. What? I wanted to thank you for sending people to go watch that clip of WAP on YouTube.

If the government wanted everybody to do anything, they have to pay them. You know another problem with my theory? I'll give you a tax break if you lose 40 pounds.