Brian Simpson Almost Died | Your Mom's House Ep. 852

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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura 1h 18m 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What health crisis did Brian Simpson experience?

Tom Segura 0:01
Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
Christina P 0:31
What's up, mummies? Thank you for joining us today. Tim is out on official show business, but I've got a pretty fucking great co-host today.
Tom Segura 0:40
Please put your hands together for Bryan Simpson, everybody. I love you so much. Thank you. I've arrived. Yeah, thank you for coming here.

How did Brian's heart attack unfold during his trip?

Tom Segura 0:48
Of course. You've had quite a harrowing time.
Christina P 0:51
Yeah. And you're here.
Tom Segura 0:52
Yeah, I almost died last month. Hold on. Let's start the show. All right. And I'll do this.
24-hour emergency medical response service. Watch.

What challenges did Brian face with the healthcare system?

Just press this button and speak into the air and...
Tom Segura 1:14
Oh shit, hold on.
Welcome to your mom's house. Stupid.
Tom Segura 1:33
With Tom Segura. That was perfect. Welcome to your mom's house. Whoever put that together needs a raise.
Christina P 1:59
Oh. Listen, before we get into it, I want to plug some dates. Believe it or not, Mommy is doing very, very, very limited runs. I'm doing Irving, Texas, Punchline, April 24th and 25th.

What humorous anecdotes does Brian share about his hospital stay?

Christina P 2:29
And then Denver at the Comedy Vex.
Tom Segura 2:32
Comedy works. Yes, it does. Comedy and prayer. May 14th through May 16th. And then Chicago at the Den Theater. Tickets at ChristinaP.com. Oh, also, bros, I'm doing April 10th and 11th at Mothership here in Tejas. So if you're a local, get that shit now. Brian, do you have any shit you want to plug before we go on? Yeah, yeah. I'm doing a Eugene, Oregon, April 10th and 11th. Yeah, Eugene, Oregon at Olsen's Run Comedy Club. And then... the port in Baltimore, Maryland, April 16th, 17th, and 18th, and then San Jose on the 23rd of California. Tickets at BryanSimpsonComedy.com.
Christina P 3:11
That's the San Jose Improv?
Tom Segura 3:12
Yeah.
Christina P 3:13
That's the best.
Tom Segura 3:13
Oh, also, buy my lipstick. I'm wearing Cuts You Up, the liquid lipstick, ChristinaP.com for all your lipstick needs. Get the perfect red, the perfect four, my liquid stuff, my cheeks, everything, everything, everything. Okay. But most importantly, I'm having chest pain. That's etched into your mom's house lore right now. Yeah, that one's an oldie but goodie. Touch me through the fence. That's right up there with touch me through the fence. So what the fuck, man? You've had a near-death experience. This happened like a month ago. Yeah, I had a blood clot and it clogged my artery. I had a heart attack in Atlanta. I was on the road. Bro. In my hotel by myself. Bro, okay, walk me, I haven't asked you the details because I wanted to exploit them on the show.
Tom Segura 4:05
I'd rather make money talking about it in public and same with you. Yeah, I'm right there with you. But I did see you in the green room and I'm glad you're back. Okay, so fucking, okay, so walk me through like every minute of this. Yeah, well, in actuality, it is something that had been happening before this so it's like like maybe five days before i thought i just had real bad a heartburn or whatever heartburn or indigestion or something in uh and it just hurt real bad but then it went away it lasted like a minute and a half and it went away so then i went to sleep and then that was like a saturday and then it happened again on monday and then tuesday i flew to atlanta And then I did a podcast. I did the 85 South podcast.
Tom Segura 4:53
And right before I walked in there to do the pod, like, it happened again. And I was like, please, no, no, no, no. But then... It was fine, but the first time that something was off was like, because during that whole thing, I was like slow, I was like missing jokes, you know what I mean? Your brain was foggy? Yeah, yeah, it was just foggy, you know? And I slept all day, so it was like. Oh, right. And the same thing, I slept all day the next day, and I slept all day the next day, and I still was just exhausted. Which is kind of normal when you're on the road to sleep all day because you're up all night. Right, and also you're trying to get, you know, because everybody has different travel habits or whatever, but I like to stay up all night and catch the early flight and then sleep on the plane or sleep when I get there so I'm refreshed for the show, right?
Tom Segura 5:37
Yeah. Anyway, so it isn't abnormal to be tired and not know why.
Christina P 5:43
Yeah, yes, exactly.
Tom Segura 5:45
But then I did the show and everything was fine.

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