Brianna Gomez

and meaning it.

There's a study that learning what to say yes and no to and aligning it with your actual wants and needs boosts your self-efficacy and reduces stress, which is so true.

And honestly, people respect you so much more and take you way more seriously when they know that your yes means yes and your no means no.

Think about if you have a friend and she is just that friend who's

mainly just doing things out of boredom, right?

She's always available, has nothing else better to do with her life.

Maybe she has low self-love or self-confidence.

And so she says yes to every single thing because she's too afraid of being alone and she has nothing better to do, okay?

But then the second other better plans come along, maybe she'll go do those instead because they seem more fun or more entertaining, right?

Now think of the friend who does set healthy boundaries.

You know, hey, I'm not feeling up to doing this today, but I'd really love to go on a beach walk with you next weekend and we can talk and sit down and have brunch or whatever.

Or, you know, I really am packed.

My schedule is super full, but I do want to make time to see you next week.

Those people's answers and their yeses mean so much more because you know that they're not doing things out of desperation or out of people pleasing.

you know they're doing it because they actually feel good about it and they actually want to make time for you.

And so making your yeses mean yes and your nos mean no is so powerful and that really just helps gain self-authority and it helps you know who you are even if it doesn't feel like it.

And I know we struggle with people pleasing a lot of us.

I have a specific episode

on that but you really do glow differently when you are only saying yes to things that align with your energy and that's something I'm working on I have mainly stopped going out like in this past year sometimes I will for like friends birthdays or something like that to celebrate but for the most part I will not be there if I don't want to and I feel like growing up and in high school even like I would feel pressured I felt like I either had to say yes to things that I didn't want to go to

maybe because I was exhausted or it just wasn't aligned with what I wanted to do and I would find myself showing up to it anyway because I felt guilty I felt like I owed people something I felt like people were gonna be mad at me if I didn't show up or I felt like I had to come up with some extravagant excuse like oh my gosh someone died someone's sick something really terrible so that