Brianna Gomez

And then flip the script and ask yourself the question about them.

What do they bring the table?

Or ask, okay, how do I show up for this person?

And ask, how do they show up for me?

And oftentimes there's an imbalance.

If you are ready and willing to be picking up the weight of this entire relationship, of course they're not going to pick up any weight.

If someone comes along and they're super strong and they offer like, oh, I can carry this for you.

you're going to let them carry it, most likely.

If they're not creepy, obviously.

But if someone comes along and they say, hey, we want to carry this together, then it is balance.

You are not just sitting there watching the other person carry it and do all the work, which is what's happening in some of the situations that you're in.

The other person is just laying back on the couch, kicking their feet up, watching you carry the entire weight of the existence of the relationship.

That is not the way it should be.

I know what it's like.

To be like, oh, I really care about them.

I really love them.

I really want them to love me.

Number one, that's what's wrong.

Sometimes it's not even that we love a person so much or that we want a person so much.

It's that we want them to love us.