Bron Lewis

And then a doctor heard what was happening.

She came out and was like, come through.

It's okay, come through, come through.

And then she said, now what's going on here?

And she was lifting his arms and it was just flopping back down and she was trying to keep me calm but I could not talk.

I couldn't talk because I was like, it's happened.

Like I've officially fucked it.

Like all of the almost fucked bits I've done, this one,

I've officially ruined it.

And she said, no, he's trying, she was trying to keep me calm.

And another doctor came over and then another doctor came over and then someone hit a button and then it was just a full, I could hear Lucas at the door arguing with the security guard to let him in because she was saying, no, there's only one parent allowed.

But I needed him to talk for me because I couldn't – none of the words were coming out.

It was like pulling, you know, pulling like stones out of thick mud.

I was like, I just need – and when he eventually came in –

They were asking him questions but he didn't know the answer to them because I hadn't let him in because I thought that anything that had gone wrong or that would go wrong was going to be my fault because I would have done something wrong in the pregnancy.

So I didn't want to tell him that I'd stuffed it because it was his child.

So I tried to just compartmentalise all of it.

And I got to the point and hopefully I'd get away with it.

And up until the third day, I thought I had got away with it.

And then it all fell apart and no one could say, oh, you know, there was fluid on his brain because Lucas didn't know there was fluid on his brain.