Bryan Greene

None of them want them, right?

They're chocolate chip pancakes.

I want chocolate chip pancakes, but I'm too busy to eat anything.

Because you know why?

Because I'm an idiot.

I don't know any of this stuff.

I'm trying to get the lunches into the bag.

I've got to get a water.

Everyone.

Now all my kids are up, and I'm like, oh, shit, kids, we've got to leave in 30 minutes.

Everybody, no one's eating their breakfast.

Everybody, quick, stuff your breakfast.

And I'm throwing pancakes down everyone's throat.

I'm literally putting pancakes into one of my daughter's throats.

I'm like, you're going to eat this, and you're going to like it, and you're going to take it, because that's what mommy left for you, and there's no other option.

You will literally starve, or you will eat this fucking pancake.

That's what's going to go on, and you're going to do it right now without complaint.

And then she goes, Daddy, we need to do my hair.

That's right.

I have been sweating this for two days since I knew that she was going to Miami.