Bryan Greene

Everybody, quick, stuff your breakfast.

And I'm throwing pancakes down everyone's throat.

I'm literally putting pancakes into one of my daughter's throats.

I'm like, you're going to eat this, and you're going to like it, and you're going to take it, because that's what mommy left for you, and there's no other option.

You will literally starve, or you will eat this fucking pancake.

That's what's going to go on, and you're going to do it right now without complaint.

And then she goes, Daddy, we need to do my hair.

That's right.

I have been sweating this for two days since I knew that she was going to Miami.

Oh, she wants the Princess Leia.

She wants the bobtails.

She wants it down.

She wants multiple twists and braids.

This girl will not leave the house unless she feels her hair has been done appropriately by somebody.

And I'm telling you right now, I am not that somebody.

It does.

And she is the one who tells Astrid how to do her hair.

Okay.

But Astrid knows all the ways to do her hair, right?

I always see them when I wake up in the morning.