Caitlin V

It takes practice to develop that sort of skill.

And if you're overly tracking yourself or if you're overly tracking the other person,

then you're not remaining balanced.

You're not like centered enough to like really be present in the experience.

I would argue that pretty much all of it stems from communication and can also be cleaned up, at least in part, through communication.

A lot of people jump straight to tactics and skills and they wanna like, teach me how to touch her in such a way that she melts or she has an orgasm or whatever.

The skills and the techniques are, they're simple, actually.

And honestly, I can't tell you exactly what's going to work for your partner.

The best thing I can do is teach you a system that will help you to assess and work with her to figure out what works for her on any given moment.

All of the things that have to come prior to that are related to your ability to communicate about your intimacy.

So I think that

My sort of central theory is that we all evolved to have sex successfully, right?

Again, this is literally how we all got here.

Exactly.

400,000 years of uninterrupted sexual reproduction and only like recently IVF and options that don't involve sexual reproduction.

Really 99.9% of all humans.

Anything that is stopping us from having a sex life that is at least satisfying is something that is actually like gumming up the works that we are born with.

It is something that is coming from outside of us or internally in the sense that it's like a thought or an emotion or a pattern that's coming from inside of us or inside of the relationship.

But it's really, I like to think about it, it's like it's all blockages.

This is meant to flow.