Camille Fornela

speaker

668 appearances 8 recordings 1 series first heard Mar 2025 last heard Jun 2025

Camille Fornela’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Budgetarian Bride: The Podcast · Bakit Ang Hirap Mag Set Ng Boundaries | TBB S2EP10 · 21 Jun 2025 podcast

That's not partnership, that's being passive. Minsan, kailangan mo rin siyang kausapin. Ganito, pwede mong sabihin, Love, I need you to help protect the marriage we're about to start. Hindi ko kayang ako lang magsabi ng no sa family mo habang ikaw, tahimik lang.

Hindi ko naman kasaltong mag-isa. Your family needs to know na decision natin itong dalawa. Hindi lang ako yung may gusto nito. Because guess what? Kung hindi ka tutulungan ni groom na i-handle yung mga tao na nagkocross ng boundaries ninyo ngayon, anong mangyayari kapag may mas malaking decision na kayong haharapin bilang mag-asawa? Di ba?

I hope you'll find the courage to open this up sa groom mo. Kasi since hindi naman selfish ang magsabi ng no, hindi ka masamang tao kung inuuna mo ang peace of mind ninyo sa kasal. So, say it with me.

Hindi ako selfish. Hindi ako masamang tao. I am setting boundaries because I love myself. I am choosing peace because that's how I will protect my future marriage. Kung hindi mo kayang imbitahan lahat, okay lang. Kung kailangan mo mag-unfriend, mag-unfollow, mag-mute ng mga group chats, okay lang. And you know what?

people will talk either way. Whether maging engrade ang kasal nyo o simple lang, yung 50 guests or below lang. Whether isama mo silang lahat o pili lang. Whether magpaliwanag ka o manahimik ka, may masasabi pa rin sila. So, if people will talk anyway, let them talk while you protect your peace. Because para sa akin, boundaries are not walls.

They are doors. And you have the power to choose who walks through that door, who stays outside, and who never gets invited ever again. And you know what else? The people who truly love you, they will understand. Because your wedding should never cost you your peace.

Now, what happens when they still don't respect your boundaries? You've explained, you've been so kind, so polite, pero bakit parang ikaw pa rin ang lumalabas na masama? Stay with me. So, paano ko nga ba sisimulan mag-set ng boundaries?

Ito, nakaipon ka na ng lakas ng loob. Narealize mo, oo nga no, hindi ako masamang tao kung magset ako ng boundaries. Pero ito na ang next na tanong mo. Paano ko nga ba sisimulan? Sis, I understand. Sobrang intimidating. You are not just breaking a tradition.

You are risking disapproval from people na matagal mo nang nire-respeto. But here's the truth, you don't need to be aggressive. You just need to be firm and clear.

Let's start with this. Number one, know your non-negotiables. Before ka pa makipag-usap sa kahit na kanino, kailangan malinaw muna sa'yo at kay groom kung ano yung mga bagay na hindi ninyo kayang i-compromise for this wedding.

Is it the guest count? Your budget ceiling? Your vision for an intimate wedding? O baka yung desire mong hindi umutang? Make a list. Yes, literal. Isulat mo yan sa papel or sa notebook. That way, every time may magbibigay ng unsolicited opinions, you have a reminder of your why.

Ito, halimbawa, hindi lalagpa sa 100 guests kasi yun lang ang kaya ng budget ninyo. Kunwari yan yung na-negotiable mo. Kapag malinaw sa inyo yan, mas madali mong panindigan. You and your groom can be very clear sa gusto ninyong mangyari. Malinaw sa inyo. And number two, use clear but respectful language. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to be rude. Pwede mong sabihin ng maayos pero firm.

Tita, I appreciate na marami kayong kakilala na gustong umaten sa wedding namin. Naiintindihan ko po na gusto ninyong isama si ganito, si ganyan. Pero we're sticking to our headcount. Sana po maintindihan ninyo. Hindi po namin kayang magdagdag pa ng bisita dahil dagdag expenses po ito. Pinag-ipunan po talaga namin ito at gusto po namin matapos ang kasal na hindi kami nagkakaroon ng utang.

There's no assurance na hindi sila ma-offend. But at least, you are clear sa kung ano ang stand ninyo. At yun ang importante. Kasi kapag paligoy-ligoy tayo, may isip nila na baka pwede pa kayong i-convince. Kapag vague tayo, akala nila open pa tayo for compromise. So be kind, but be firm. And number three, practice saying no. Yes, kailangan mo itong i-practice. Sa salamin, sa best friend mo, sa kapatid mo.

Alam mo kung bakit? Kasi no feels unnatural sa ating mga Pinoy. Lagi tayong, oh sige na nga, bahala na, sige gawan ko ng paraan. Baka pwede naman. But every time you say yes, when you actually means no, you betray yourself. So start small. Kapag halimbawa may nagtanong,

Pwede bang invite natin si ganito? Instead of saying, ewan ko, titignan ko pa. You can say, thank you po sa suggestion pero final na po yung guest list namin. Hindi po namin siya mai-invite. I hope you understand. Maikli, klaro, tapos ang usapan. Hindi mo kailangan mag-explain ang buong backstory mo. You don't owe them any explanations. You are allowed to just say no.

And number four, expect pushback. Ito yung part na ayaw nating maranasan. Pero dapat nating paghandaan kasi hindi porket respectful or polite ka, magiging okay na agad sila. Sigurado may masasaktan, may magtatampo, may magsasabing, ay nag-iba ka na, may mao-offend.

Hayaan mo lang. Let them process. Let them react. Pero don't ever let their reaction determine your decision. You're not responsible for how they choose to feel. Lalo na kung hindi mo naman sila sinaktan. Gusto mo lang naman ito pa rin yung dream wedding mo. Diba? And number five, involve your groom. Ito na naman tayo.

Kung ikaw lang ang makikipaglaban, mapapagod ka talaga. So, involve your groom. Sabihin mo sa kanya, Love, kailangan ko ng partner dito. Kapag may nagpilit sa side mo, sana ikaw ang magsabi sa kanila. Hindi ko kayang magset ng boundaries kung ikaw mismo ayaw mo rin magsalita.

You need to present a united front. Hindi pwedeng ikaw ang masama tapos siya yung good cop. Because guess what? Kapag ganyan ang setup, ikaw talaga ang lalabas na kontrabida. So talk to him. Plan your words together. Decide on your shared boundaries. Then commit to protecting them.

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