Candace Owens

I broke my foot, no joke, on Friday the 13th.

There's a picture.

and I was doing nothing.

It was very uncool.

I was wearing a slipper that was too big for me and I got up to take one step.

I slipped inside the slipper and I landed like this on the front of my right foot, heard the pop, very proud of myself.

I did not scream because my daughter was within earshot and I didn't want to scare her, but anyway.

As you can imagine, with four kids beneath the age of five, it's a minor inconvenience, okay?

I can't even hold my youngest, who is 11 months, not yet walking beyond a few feet before it grows too tiresome.

So anyway, Saturday morning, I get up all the kids, right?

We're going to this outdoor market.

We're going to meet up with Theo Vaughn.

My kids love Theo Vaughn.

And at this particular market, there happens to be a playground.

I want to be clear, it is a preschool playground.

It is for toddlers, not even for kids.

So I buy what I need to buy at this market.

And my husband is with me and he's holding 11 month old because I can't hold them.

And it's already, you know, not the best Saturday morning because I had only just learned the day before via a presidential statement that Brigitte Macron is way better looking than me.

I actually learned that it's not even close.