Cara Delevingne

Because it's all you knew.

And like, yeah.

And I loved doing it.

I don't know why, because it gave me a purpose and it helped me not think about myself, which I didn't like doing at that point.

So what happened at 15?

I was experimenting a lot, I think, with like hallucinogens at that point, you know, which pretty young, 14, 13, 14.

And yeah, growing up in England and London at that time, there was a lot of drugs and ketamine was very big at that point.

And I think I love what drugs made me feel.

I loved not having to think about my mom.

I loved not having to feel the pressure of not being good at school because I couldn't focus or concentrate.

The pressure of not feeling like I was good at anything or good enough or love myself, all of that, it went away.

And what drugs really gave me at that point, which is what I was desperately looking for, was connection.

It wasn't real.

I mean, it is to some extent, but it's not.

It's there, it's tangible, but it's not deep enough, right?

For what you really need, maybe what you want.

But I loved that part and I loved the friends I had and the music and the, you know, breaking into, it was just like such an amazing period.

But then, especially with things like hallucinogens and when your brain is not formed yet,

I just remember having a really bad trip, a really bad trip where I thought that my dad was God and my mom was the devil and I had to kill her to save the end of the world.

I lost my mind.