Cara Zelas

You know, you want a toy, you go to Amazon and it's at your doorstep in two days time.

Like there is, we have to build that skill and through growth mindset and skill.

like helping your kids do hard things, I think is a great muscle to build.

also in a position where you can say that wasn't your best and you can try harder next time and that's okay yeah yeah yeah you have to the resilience muscle and I guess managing disappointment as well yeah and that's just a fact of life some things are going to work out and some things are not and that's going to be for the rest of your life so just teaching them early

how to get through that I think is important.

Yeah, I guess it's like regulating your emotions, managing your emotions, like how are you going to manage your emotions when you have different emotions all throughout the day and how do you manage them?

Do you let them get the better of you or do you have tools and techniques to get through those moments?

And I think that kids can't regulate alone because they don't know how to and so co-regulation really helps.

So that just starts off with you being calm.

and and you being um the anchor and not necessarily a fixer so you're the one that's the anchor that when your kids are out of control with their emotions that you are an anchor and that you remain calm so and and when my kids have big emotions i i don't shut them down it's like

yeah, like if that happened to me, I'd also feel really angry or sad or mad and let's give it a name and let's sit with that.

Like, like let's sit with that uncomfortable feeling instead of pushing it away or pushing it down.

Um,

Yeah.

Well, yeah, because science has proved that when you pat a dog, it lowers your cortisol levels and the cortisol levels are your stress hormones.

And yes, I do use my therapy dog, Little Dude, in my lessons, especially in co-regulation.

I have a book called Brain Vacation, A Guide to Meditation.

And we do this activity when I bring the dog in where I get like a child to put their hands on Little Dude's back.

They feel him breathing.

They match their breath to the dog's breath.