Carl Lentz
speaker
537 appearances
7 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard May 2025
Carl Lentz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I'm not doing that because that's an expectation I can't meet. I will say that time tells a real story, but I'm going to need faith from you to trust that I'm actually who I say I am. You don't owe me that, but this is going to go a lot better if you give it. So that's on you. But, Minda, the beautiful part is I can't control either of those factors.
So when it comes to rebuilding, a lot of people look at that as an arduous task. And I always say, you're looking at it from the wrong angle. I cannot control whether you're going to give me time or whether you're going to give me faith. All I can control is living honestly. And I got my hands full with that. And I'll take my chances. So let me cover my side of the tracks as a leader.
I broke your trust. I've apologized. I've repented. I've changed. That's clear. From here on out, how you handle my life is on you. I can't control it. It's none of my business. My business is, am I honest? Can I stand on this life? And I can, but I can't force or even ask you to believe it. That's on you. If you want what I have to offer, you're going to have to let down your drawbridge.
And that's on you. I got all day. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be over here building my life. So it's like, whenever that day comes for you, let me know. I'm going to be here.
It's your business.
A real honest answer is it's taught me a lot. I think once you've decided whether you're going to be in or out of somebody's life after they've broken your trust. All I would tell people is just be clear one way or the other, because it's a real easy judgment to make. That person left me. He left my life. That's not really a fair, healthy way to look at it.
The right way to look at it is I broke your trust and you made a decision on it. I don't really have the right to judge that. I can have some thoughts. But at least I can say this to the other side of the tracks, because I have been on the other side of the tracks where people have broken my trust. And all I would say is just be as clear as you freaking can.
Nobody needs your games, your passive aggressive ghosting, your thinly veiled texts that don't really say much, but mean much. Be clear. I don't feel safe. Therefore, I will be vacating your life. That might seem or even be harsh, but that's what I got to do. Great. Thank you. Or the other thing is I'm going to try to make this work. I don't know what that looks like, but let's go forward. Great.
What didn't help me is people who were wishy-washy and they wouldn't stand on what they were doing. Hey, man, just tell me that you don't ever want to be my friend again. I can handle it. But what you're doing. is leaving everything in limbo. So I think that's my submission to people who are in the middle of a journey like that. Do whatever you feel like you need to do.
Who cares if someone's going to judge it? But at least have the courage to stand on it. Me and Laura have seen and heard now from so many people that we try to help who are always just astounded at the abandonment. of them in their valley. And we get it in a new way now. And I can firmly say it's a pattern of humanity to just leave people and not talk about it.
And my kids, their generation is just ghosting. It's just a part of the way you communicate. I'm going to break up with you by just never talking to you for four months. It's horrible. But we do that. Even us, our generation has our own version of that. And so I think that's what I tell people is just be honest. If you can't do it, say it. If you're trying, say it. But don't say nothing.
That kills people when they're in a valley.
I'll tell you, Minda, yes, I feel that in my chest. How I found peace with that, even before this journey, was digging in really deep, especially as a pastor, saying, what am I doing this for? What's my expectation? If I go in with an expectation that this will be reciprocal, I'm setting myself up for something.
Because you really, this isn't like an arrogant thing, but you're not going to be able to reciprocate what a pastor does for you. You don't know how much they pray. You don't know what they're fighting. You don't know what they're doing. And that's the case for a lot of people. But for me, that part of the journey wasn't as hard. It doesn't mean I didn't have days of, really?
You're going to abandon me. And I freaking be like that finger does come out some days. But when I'm my best self, I go, it would be nice if you return some of that gracious favor I gave you. But I didn't do what I did for you. Someday I could be like, hey, I did it because it was right.
And if that's true, if that was my motive, then there's not going to be a whole lot of bitterness there because I didn't do it for that. That's not to say it doesn't hurt. It does feel extra salty when somebody that you have poured into and when you come calling for a little bit of help, they don't give you anything. I had a lot of that in my life, Minda.
A lot of people, especially in ministry, that I, for lack of a better term, I helped them go further.
in a major way and then the moment we went through our thing and so now you don't want to be associated with me and so the scoreboard is a hundred to one but whose fault is it that i'm looking at a scoreboard i said i didn't play under that's on me but i want to be honest and say it's definitely there it's something i had to get over and it's more resourceful for me not to look that way but it's there once in a while it'll pop up and i'll say i see you scoreboard i'm not gonna not gonna look at you too long but i see you
So the way I frame it is what am I going to do with that scoreboard that I see? I choose not to activate it because to say you don't see it, for me, that's not honest. I've seen other people, maybe they're more healthy than me, but I do see it. I am human. And I do sometimes feel like hey, you owe me, but that's not right.
So rather than push or resist or act like that thought's not real, I bring that sucker out and I look at it and I say, no, we're not doing that.
Showing 361–380 of 537 · page 19 of 27
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