Carl Lentz
speaker
537 appearances
7 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard May 2025
Carl Lentz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
So just as a principle in life, I like to maybe put a comma instead of a period there. Cause I, I mainly take advice from people who are married for these seven reasons, but I'm so open and humble that, Hey, if this fricking random dude over here on this alleyway in Van Nuys has one good thought, I'm so desperate to grow. I'll take it.
So I think when it comes to dating, I'll give you the, what I think is the most important advice for any young man. Um, How much work are you spending? How much time are you spending on making yourself better? Because if you're healthy, your relationship will always reflect it. So sometimes we'll skip over ourselves again. I got to make my relationship better. I got to be a better boyfriend.
Sure, maybe. And you tell me what kind of Bryce is a dangerous problem to have. the guy who is really secure, overflowing with joy, disciplined, filled with grace, and that guy walks out of his house, what kind of boyfriend would he be? Probably the best boyfriend on the planet. Of all time.
Conversely, you wake up, brush your teeth, you take a shower, you go outside, you go buy flowers for her, and you go work on the seven things that you're not great at, and you're trying to read her love languages, trying to make sure you understand her, and who's that guy? Well, okay, probably a good guy, but the first one sounds very appealing to me.
So even with my daughters, when they're dating, I'm always having them check that guy's self-care routine. I don't care about the other stuff. I don't care about if he's being handsome. I don't care if he's funny. I don't care if he's cool. Is he open to therapy? Does he have someone he confides in? Is he vulnerable with his weaknesses?
And although that can seem a little bit mature, I understand everybody's age is different, but I do believe the call that I see God doing is trying to get people to mature faster. So it's not shocking to me. I'm sitting across from a 21-year-old guy who has depth beyond your years. But I think with your girlfriend, anybody you're dating, first question to ask is, am I mature? Am I helping myself?
Because if I can't lead myself, how on earth am I going to try to help lead another person? So once you get that rhythm, then you can just, you know, the overflow of who you are, it's going to make you a really compelling person to date. And if it doesn't go the distance, you walk away with two healthy people. That's how you know somebody was working on themselves.
And when you see people have relational breakdowns and they're shattered for months after, it's typically because they've had sex, firstly. And they haven't understood the deep consequences of what that can mean physically. And then somebody wasn't healthy. So now the breakup was just hard. Like the most beautiful testament to a Christian relationship is when people have deep love, deep feelings.
They don't decide to go on a future chapter together, but they both look at each other and say, you made me better. Yes, there was some heartbreak and I'm sad, but the impact you had on me was I became a better person.
And I think if that's your goal as a as a boyfriend, you're either going to find the woman of your dreams and get married or you're going to help somebody down the road that you don't know invest in this beautiful person that God did not entrust to you. That's a beautiful place to be.
And so I look at you and just go, man, for you to spend a lot of time watering your own soul, I think it makes relationships better. And there's some cool things you can do in a relationship, but the first foundational block is how are you? If you love yourself, very, very easy to love somebody else.
But when I talk to young men that are very insecure and they hate themselves and they have hidden habits and I see them date, I'm like, what do you think you're going to produce for this girl? You don't even love yourself. You don't even know that God's forgiving you, but yet you're going to, you know, they become controlling, mean, manipulative, abusive at times, domineering.
And that's all a projection of who they are. So anytime, like I just tell my daughters, like,
we just stay away from guys like that because we know right away they haven't got the memo that how they treat themselves is how they're going to treat you so if you see a guy who sleeps in all the time and he has no discipline and he's cool but he doesn't go to class okay cool what does that say about him don't make a judgment just make an observation and that's how you start to see who's who and you see this other guy he might not be have the coolest outfit on but he's early to every class he's always kind of got that bouncy weird joy
And he always does what he says. I'll take my chances with the guy who doesn't have cool pants over the guy who looks so cool, but he's kind of not all there when it comes to the mental awareness lights. Yeah, I think that's what I'm looking for. So you keep watering your soul, my brother, and you're going to be an unstoppable force.
It is my honor. It is my absolute honor. And I'm going to keep praying that God lights your way up, makes it so bright that you will never fear missing it because that's what's in your future, bro. You're going to do things that even shock you. And I'll be able to say, yeah, I sat down on that guy's couch yesterday. in Van Nuys. I knew him before you knew him.
You're going to have that kind of life where people are going to want to be around you. But it's an honor, man. So keep doing what you're doing. And you got friends in Tulsa, Oklahoma, if you need them. Thank you. Yeah. So thank you for having me.
Showing 521–537 of 537 · page 27 of 27
← Previous